Kalizzia

That was in the middle of this summer. I moved away from the people I used to drink with app. 3 yrs. ago, but then and here I was drinking "box-o-wine" every evening; app. 2 large boxes a week to 1. Then I just thought; this is stupid, sitting here drinking by myself, doing a lot of nothing on the computer... so I quit. I had just bought a box, which still sits where my "supply" used to sit for when I ran out. I can't take it back in my state. I know that some would say give it away or throw it away but it's kind of like my security blanket & I look at it with a sense of familiarity to it's presence. It will go eventually - hey maybe when my depression goes? It symbolizes something to me.

My Dad used to be quite the drinker and he quit also without AA just quit. He was app. the same age as myself. I was drinking for 30+ years, and very heavily in the middle part. I gave up the hard booze 15 years ago, I would drink a bottle of vodka until it was gone, straight through and it was making me mean. So then came the wine. Well, I started tapering off here since I moved. Then I stopped. I have no idea if I am an alcoholic or not. I think I was. Physically I do not crave anything. I felt a bit under the weather for a few weeks, no nightmares though as others have reported. A few bad dreams but that isn't out of the ordinary, my mother is abusive so I do often have dreams of being accused of something that isn't true.

The reason I decided to join this group today is that I woke up and realized I have been depressed ever since I quit. I am not a depressed person, nobody could ever say that of me, and mostly I was a happy drunk. It just started to make me tired and at my age, I had to consider my health, in addition I have chronic pain for bad disc and bad arthritis that I am prescribed narcotics for and the recent deaths of famous people that mix the two caught my attention. But the depression; ?? How long will this last? I am rather agoraphobic, work from home when I work, and just go out for necessities or Dr. Appointments.I haven't washed my hair in a few weeks; going to today; I just haven't felt like it. I don't feel like doing anything but give my dogs a lot of attention. It is quite the chore to just do the few dishes I have. Any suggestions on the Depression? I am under the care of a Physiatrist; but really can't afford a Psychologist. I just can't see me in AA. I don't even feel I need it as I don't even want to drink. I know I am looking at the answers I think, but I don't want to leave my house! Any one else get depressed after they quit? Thanks!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Kallizzia - I moved your thread here from Daily Support

I think depression is common for a lot of us in early recovery - if I read your post right you've been sober for something less than 3 months?

but if its impacting upon your life or you're concerned about it,. my recommendation is always to seek some professional advice

welcome to SR

D

venicequeen

Depression is very common in early recovery. Because we have been relying on a substance to make us happy, it takes time for our brains to physically be able to produce the chemicals that make us feel happy without alchohol or drugs. Just think of it this way, every day you get through sober you are one day closer to feeling happy again. It will come in time, and you will find natural happiness to be much more self-satisfying than the feeling you look for through alcohol. Good luck and I hope things get better!

Auvers

Welcome. You asked if anyone got depressed after quitting, I think many do, I sure did. I had the lethargy you describe, also no pleasure in anything. It took nearly 3 months to lift. At 4 months plus I am much better, but I can tell it is a bit sly and shows up now and again. I can see it is diminishing steadily. I am just like you, no urge or craving to drink, just got really flat. Good luck.

Thepatman

Glad you have put this post. I'm 3 weeks in, doing ok and not wanting to drink but I have rollercoaster emotions. One minute I'm normal, then I feel super sad. But this shall pass, drinking would have never passed. Choice is simple ;-)

DisplacedGRITS

i think a good many of us dealt or are dealing with depression after quitting. i know i had to force myself to keep up my personal grooming habits when i first quit because my heart just wasn't in it. i really didn't care that much. it took time but that depression slowly slid away from me. i spent a lot of time in quiet reflection and i worked hard at being grateful for all that i had around me and within myself. as to your poll question, i actually did all of those things to deal with my depression. you can add coming to SR daily to it as well. this place makes me feel less alone and less depressed. i also learned that i had to let myself smile in spite of myself. i took time to look up funny youtube clips and things like that (laughing babies gets me every time) and let myself laugh even if i'd been grumpy before. it makes you feel good mentally and physiologically. i hope your depression lifts soon. you're very early in recovery so have hope.

Thepatman

Thanks displaced!

RobC420

All of the above

Kalizzia

Well fellow friends walking the same path, that was some very kind words of support, and I thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. I guess I have it pretty good compared to a lot of people and I am not being very thankful for what I do have and I know that is wrong. I am a very giving person though and have been taken advantage of a majority of my life; especially when I was drinking; anyone could have anything they wanted and did... but that's there bad. I would never do that to somebody. I don't know what relevance that has; maybe that is why I drank to become a more outgoing and stronger person, but it was a trick on me. My complexion is just coming back. I remember when I was about into my 5th glass, establishing a good buzz on, I would think myself prettier; ha = that was only in my own eyes. I am lonely too, and some of my depression comes from the fact that my looks are fading and I am single, and it looks to me that that will remain. Looks to me like a lonely 30 years ahead of me, if I make it to an average life expectancy of woman in our family who haven't been to kind to their bodies over the years. Ahh; I am feeling super hopeless right now! This to will pass. When I was not depressed and counseled friends that were I would always be so positive saying that tomorrow will never be the same as today. But since I have quit drinking, it does seem like my days are running on endlessly the same. I have never felt this way before and can't wish it away. I am finely walking in the shoes of so many people that were down and out. Anyhow, thanks so much for all your responses and I hope that everyones sobriety brings them favorable bonuses in their lives ahead of them... including myself; I guess I need to be patient, not my strong point, especially since I just realized a couple days ago that I was depressed and have been for app. 4 months! Thanks again!

Hexipuff

Can't vote -did more than one
Did meetings and walking/excercising
Now the despression has passed thankfully but I still do meetings and walking/excercise

Auvers

You have 4 months along this road and that is a big accomplishment, that's how I am looking at it. Changes are coming very gradually, but the brain is going to emerge and your perspective will be different functioning without the booze. The next 30 years can unravel all different kinds of ways, you are the Master of that. Maybe some reading, attention to mindfulness could be helpful, I am liking that. Also good attention to nutrition and exercise. That is enough to work on at the present for me, I will add more as I feel like it.

Kalizzia

Thanks Auvers, that whole thing I wrote was a bit of a salad, but my brain isn't working with the clarity it did when I was drinking, only of course for the fact that it is still undergoing some major changes I understand. Nutrition, nutrition....having a struggle with that as I am don't have a lot of income, I just worked a file, which made me feel better btw, (wasn't due; but it took my mind off me) as I am an animal rights activist and trying to go vegan. Uhh. I am not sure if that will work for me at this point. ****

Orbea

My problem came after giving birth. Ppd. I medicated w wine. I quit after 2.5 years and sought help of psychiatrist. Mental issues runs in family. Wellbutrin and adderal have helped me a lot. Good luck to you!

Itchy

I didn't really start to feel well until,six months. We have a one year and over club here and several of us feel the time between the first year sobriety date and the second year date, are where the real lifestyle questions and changes occur. First we had to get over the initial detox crisis, then all kinds of adjustments as our bodies looked to get more endorphin substitution with alcohol, and started emergency production attempts until it could.

Then we had to go through the physical healing medium term as we started to equalize.

Then recovered we have to redesign a life in complete freedom. I isolated for awhile, but felt for me that was normal.

My life as a drunk sucked. There is no way I think fondly of my drinking days as better in any way. Pink Floyd said it best, all I was was comfortably numb.

Whadahay

The drinking is but a symptom of the real problem ... our emotional sobriety. AA isn't just to keep from drinking. It's to learn how to LIVE without drinking.

Some people might as well as have a drink in their hand ... their behaviors haven't changed. This is what they call a "Dry Drunk."

I'm so glad that my pride didn't keep me from going to AA and learning that working the 12 Steps could bring me to a better way to THINK and LIVE. As an alcoholic, our biggest downfall is really that we are so immature emotionally and bankrupt spiritually.

What do you have to lose to get some direction in AA on how to get to the root of our problems ... it's not the alcohol ... it's the reasons we drink.

ElCamino

Good luck.

MaryLynn

Just listening...
In the zone,fogged out,no sleep,cannot eat...
2wks Clean and Sober,first AA meeting last night( husband dropped me off and picked me up),sad,husband sick with recurrent stage 4 kidney cancer,active,29 yr.old daughter living with us.
New State for me,no connections.
Husband has longtime businesses and family here..
Lost,trying to survive,and connect.
Starting over at age 54, new place,sober...

Dee74

Hi and welcome Mary Lynn - I'm sorry for all you have going on in your life but you'll find support here

D

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Kalizzia

I hate being honest about this subject because I don't want to discourage anyone. But the truth was I felt that way for a long time. It took me over 8 months to feel physically better and longer than that mentally. But it is an odd one. I always suffered from bouts of really dark depression, and that has never happened since I quit drinking. I have felt generally lethargic and lacking in motivation and hopeless, but it wasn't as bad as the bleak depression I felt in my drinking days. The main difference I suppose was that I wasn't getting those highs I got from getting drunk so everything seemed a bit grey. But I had hope. Mainly I got that from this place. My progress with my mental health has been very slow but steady. I have gone from having many huge ups and downs to a steady contentment. I get the odd bleak moment and the odd deliriously happy one too, but mainly I have a quiet contented happiness which is hard to beat. I never ever felt this way in my drinking years or even before them. It gets better, trust me x

MaryLynn

Thank-you for taking the time to share Kalizzia....