NEOMARXIST

To all of the newcomers outthere: Remember that recovery takes 'time'. This is a big stumbling block to many in recovery I believe. Recovery inevitably takes time and work. If you can open your mind to be able to see improvements within your sober life, however small, that wouldn't be possible if you were drinking,then that can hopefully inspire you to stick with sobriety.

I think drink and drugs really tap into the 'in the moment' mindset; ie - living fast in the moment with no thought towards any future, apart from when the future happens eg - drink runs out etc. Certainly a big part of my recovery was changing this instant gratification mindset towards a much more chilled and level-headed view of reality. This isn't easy and it takes a lot of 'work' to change one's mindset, but I know I'm certainly able to look at situations with a much more level-headed and less impulsive mindset nowadays.

One thing's for sure and that is if you continue to drink then nothing is going to improve; it stands to reason. Whereas if you stick with sobriety then things can indeed change in time. I think a big problem with many people who try to get sober is that they don't sufficiently change their psyche so that they are able to view the world/life/feeling differently to how they did when they were active drinking - thus not drinking seems impossible as life seems unbearable and that familiar 'pressure cooker' feeling builds up until only a drink can be thought of as the solution. So changing one's psyche is important in order to stay sober and this takes time, and lot's of it too. AA is a great outlet for this, as is the wisdom on SR too.

So keep on, keeping on as in time and with work a sober life seems like the only life and becomes completely normal. You can achieve so much more than you ever could and it can be so much more rewarding too. You know where you've come from and where you don't want to go back to again; drinking will take you there, staying sober won't...

misterritter

Well said. I can see the need for patience and I have to keep reminding myself this is a process, and I should appreciate the process as well as the eventual goal.

Dee74

great to see you again Neo - & great message - hope you're well

D

hypochondriac

Thanks for your wisdom. I have been working really hard on changing my mindset but I have to learn that it's not like I am going to graduate from sober school and all will be well. I think retraining your thought patterns is something which requires a lifetimes work, and it isn't the end of the world if I am not 'fixed' soon enough. Feeling frustrated and guilty for having drinking thoughts really only leads you down the path of drinking!

Sasha4

Hi Neo gald to see you again.
How are you going?

x

Hevyn

Thanks for a wonderful & helpful post. So happy to see you back here.

least

Welcome back!

BoozeFree

Glad to see your back! Your posts are always so inspiring!

quitforme79

Thanks

DisplacedGRITS

hear hear!

coffeenut

Neo! I've missed you!

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for the well-wishes everybody and yes, I'm doing well thanks; life is good

I have always been very open about being an alcoholic, especially when it comes to situations/conversations about booze. Obviously you get natural intuition and a feel for people/situations and whether the need is there to acknowledge yourself as an alcoholic when drinking convo's come up etc. In my experience and because I'm so open about it there is often the oppurtunity for much humour to actually be created within the conversation; the look on people's face can be priceless haha - especially when they realise you're being serious too.

Whether it's because I got sober young I don't know, but I do know that the stigma that I see people think there is about calling themselves alcoholic is largely non-existent in my own experience. In fact, admitting to my innermost self (as it says in AA BB) that I'm an alcoholic was/is my most powerful weapon against believing that I can drink like other people; I can't as I'm an alcoholic. I have found that I have gained nothing but respect on the whole about being straight about my alcoholism as to why I don't drink, and also it means that other people know the score plain and simple. I know that when I was a drunk then I gained no respect from anybody and lost a lot of self-respect.

I do believe that people can get overly concerned in semantics/labels but I also believe and am grateful that I embraced myself as an alcoholic, as like anything; once you know the problem/ailment then you know what you're up against and you can work on the solution.

The problem I could see with the alcoholic word is if you drink again; then your self-esteem and people's opinions of you would be in the gutter and maybe this is why people have issue with the word alcoholic as it is so final and leaves no room for other labels such as binge-drinker, problem drinker, heavy drinker, p*ss-head, substance abuser etcetcetc which ultimately may allow you to make excuses to drink again, as afterall there are lot's of these people out on a Friday and Saturday night etc.

So I guess what I'm saying is that in my experience, embracing yourself as an alcoholic is crucial in maintaining sobriety and is a crucial part of recovery. Certainly for me this was/is the case and I'm grateful for my acceptance of my alcoholism, for me it was a totally positive thing and only good came of it.

venicequeen

Thank you for your wisdom! I know that in my experience, I have experienced a relapse after getting fed up that I wasn't seeing a "change" in things. I was inpatient, and had yet to realize that only when the change occurs within myself will the external changes begin. I am going to work on patience this time, because I have a lot of potentially good things that can happen if I just stay clean! Taking it one day at a time.