Rosiepetal

It's Friday night, 7 days without XABY. Its a 3 day weekend where I live & all I can think about is where is the ex, has he gone away to see his ex again? Is he at home drinking? The not knowing is hard. I feel cheated that if he is with her, it wasn't her that tried to help him etc etc etc. It's taking all my strength not to get the kids phone & get the number & contact him.
Any suggestions?

NWGRITS

Yep, don't do it. You'll only end up kicking yourself for it later. Stay here on SR and read. Pick up a book and lose yourself in that. Do anything BUT contact him.

soexhausted

Take it from me Rosiepetal. You read my post earlier about running into my AXGF.
I had been doing really well, then I have contact with her. Next thing I know I am heading into a complete tailspin.
Filled with hurt and anger at both her and myself.
A few weeks ago when I finally had the courage to leave her I felt strong and good about myself. After just 20 minutes with her that positive feeling was completely gone.
And purely for ego sake we parted by her saying to me we need time apart. I will call you when I am ready. Exactly what I said to her.
So I no longer even had the satisfaction of breaking up with her. She now broke up with me.
But that is of little consequence. What matters is not who is staying away from who, but that we stay away from each other.
So believe me, our fantasy of the joy that we will gain by seeing or talking to our partner is way different then the horrendous reality that it actually brings.

Rosiepetal

Thanks soexhausted.
I was really teary tonight, don't know why, just adjusting.
It's frustrating knowing you can't do anything for them & have to save yourself. Alcoholism is cruel & destroying.
Thanks for setting me straight, I hear you & will stay away.
Respect to you.

Rosiepetal

Soexhausted as I sent the last post on the TV was Christina Perrie singing jar of hearts played. It was very appropriate. Maybe that was sign for me cause it summed up everything.

TakingCharge999

Mourning an addict is very different from mourning a 'normie'.
For me, moving on from XABF has been the hardest thing I ever did.
And sometimes I still feel sad/angry, although I no longer wallow there much time.

Keep the No contact. Remember all the bad episodes. Remember how you felt, without the pink glasses. That is the reality & you deserve way more.

For me it has been 4 years of No contact and it has been tough but I do not regret not having him in my life anymore. I need real human warmth & real human affection. Many people (addicts or not) are too enmeshed in themselves, they are unable to participate in a relationship the way I can & now wish for myself.

No contact, no contact. Keep posting here!

Rosiepetal

Thank you takingcharge, that helped.