broken101

So I have to the decision to forget about the past and look forward to the future. Since I know I will soon be a mommy I set my priorities straight. Me and my unborn baby's life is the most important thing in the world. I will admit this is not the way I envisioned starting a family, I wanted there to be a mommy and daddy who love each other and have their crap together. But it cannot change my ex or what he did or is doing or will ever do. But I can change myself to adapt to this new role God has granted me with. I will no long talk about him; worry about him and God help me I will try not to think about him. I don't think I will ever stop loving him but I can do that without him having to be a part of my life. I do not want him in MY child's life because as I have read here a child may not be enough to stop his use and the last thing I want is my baby becoming attached to his daddy an then daddy it not there when he/she want him. I can do this all alone with the love and support form close family and friends who will not say anything to him about the pregnancy. I realized that I will always be the bad guy, I am the one who left for my ex, the one who manipulated, the one who stole and lied and who developed "feelings beyond friendship" to all my close female friends. So I don't mind being the bad guy God knows the truth. And I have the most precious gift I could ever ask for.

Ann

Yes you can, dear Broken. To move forward to a better life, sometimes we have to leave the past behind. We can take our mistakes and turn them into lessons that will guide us on the path of life ahead.

May your life, and that of your dear baby, be filled with many blessings and new beginnings.

Hugs

FindingErica

Broken, you have come so far! Blessings and health on your pregnancy!

hello-kitty

Broken, you are making such a brave and wise choice for you and your child. If there was one thing I wish I could go back and do over, it isn't that I wouldn't have met my ex or got pregnant with my child. It's just that I would have left him sooner, that I wouldn't have let my boy get attached to his father who is a drug addict.

I tried to make my ex into the father he should have been. He just wasn't capable of it. He's a drug addict doing what drug addicts do. I tried to change that. Instead I should have been militant about keeping him away from my son. The person who suffers the most from me trying to save my ex and turn him into a worthy father is our little boy.

You are going to love being a mom. And yes, being a single mom is hard. But it's worth it. My son is the greatest gift. And your baby will be too. You don't need a grown up king-baby sucking all your energy up when you are trying to save a child.

Thepatman

This will hurt to admit, however I am the living proof that having a baby won't change him.
When my ex was Pregnant with our son, I wanted to stop. I didnt, she left me good for her but I was able to have shared custody. I managed to control my drinking when I was with my son. But the week he was not with me I drinked like crazy.

Suffice to say that he is now 6, and I'm finally sober and happy. But I needed to hit my rock bottom.

broken101

Hello-kitty, thank you so much for your words. I look back to and wish I would have left sooner but I don't regret I always wanted to be a mom and how I have that blessings. I wish that I can open my heart to allow y ex to be the father he once said he wanted to be so desperately but as you said being a father is not going to change him and I am not going to risk my child getting attached to his father and then his father disappearing and not able to be there or him/her. I know it's going to be hard but my ex husband who is way older than I am is great he is so supportive and I know my baby and I will always be taken care of. I am looking forward to being a mom and I thank God for giving me the opportunity. And you are right I don't need any distraction from an addict my primary concern is ME and my unborn baby.

Thepatman I am happy that you did hot your rock bottom and is finally sober and truly happy. I wish my ex would hit his rock bottom soon but that does not matter to me. Best of luck.