escapist

Today is horrible. I can't think. I made it through work yesterday. Coming home was a problem. My husband (who does not drink ) is glad I am trying to quit. We have been married for almost 6 years. I started drinking 2 years into our marriage. I don't think he understands what I feel like. I fix him his dinner and I am so tired. Every waking hour I go through an internal panic and all I can think about is having a drink. I breathe, I eat something, and I wait it out. I keep eating and I think I don't care if I gain more weight because the priorty is staying sober. I have already packed on pounds and bloating from booze anyway, it's not like I am going to lose my modeling career. I am having a panic right now. I did not go to the office today. I can't seem to get dressed. I sleep for 1 hour, wake up,( last night was sweaty sleep), drink water and sleep for another hour
I am taking Advil PM to help me sleep. No one ever got hooked on Advil PM. I feel paralyzed

Hexipuff

Escapist - congratulations on deciding to quit

The first days are a struggle and lack of sleep is such a hard thing to cope with.
For the first days I ate a little bit and often, mainly sweet things to keep the blood sugars up. Also I set myself a few little goals to achieve. Only tiny things - a walk in the fresh air, a few little chores. After each achievement I treated myself to a hot chocolate or a few pages of a book or magazine. I did simple puzzles and kept myself occupied with things I could finish and do.
After a while sleep became easier - I had a bath before bed and a warm milky drink and maybe a biscuit or two. Once in bed I settled to sleep but if I couldn't sleep after an hour or so - up again and downstairs to read or listen to music (through headphones) and back to bed again - repeat until sleep comes.

I wish you all the luck in the world on your sober path. Keep posting on here and remember it does get better - before you know it you will be having the best sleeps for ages.

Alcofribas

escapist, all I can say is I feel I can relate. Yesterday I called in sick just bc I was having such severe anxiety and couldn't face people at work, who know I'm an alcoholic. Last night I slept sporadically too, waking up randomly and not being able to get back to bed.

And like hexipuff said, the first days are really tough but if you stick to this, you will feel better and probably sooner than you're expecting. hang in there!

Anna

It's definitely not easy in the early days, but keep focused on the benefits. Each day will get a bit easier. Have you tried any kind of exercise program?

ford1967

I know what you are going through as said by others the first days and weeks are the worst,but it does get better my wife and I are doing this together we both have the problem.
We are now 33 days sober and it is a lot better sleep comes much better and the thoughts of booze are further apart,I we feel much better about our selfs and are able to cope better with life.
Stick with it and keep posting

escapist

Thanks. I keep talking to myself. I tell myself if I pick up a drink all of this stuff I have gone through will be a waste of time. Missing work, hiding in my house, living in my bathrobe, avoiding my family (they make me nervous) . My grandfathers on both sides were alcoholics. They have been dead for a long time. My mother and brother do not have the problem I have. I remember my grandmother telling me ,"When you drink alcohol the Devil speaks to you".

serious

unfortunately the first days are always tough. there isn't much you can do except to tough it out and let your body recover.
it doesn't sound like you are in serious medical danger, but sometimes (actually any time) it's a good idea to check with a doctor. maybe you can get a written excuse from work, they will not disclose specifics, but it beats having to come up with excuses.
you are just sick, it happens.

the good news is that things will get better, after a week or two (actually much better). in the mean time try to sleep and eat healthy as much as possible. take a b-complex vitamin (b6, b12, etc.).
try valerian root for a little while to help with sleep.

you won't undo everything you've done in a few years over the course of a couple of days. but you can recover and you can recover well. many of us are doing it and many have done it in the past. just stick with it and keep on.