lilgolden73

I've screwed up more than I care to get into at this point and 90% had nothing to do with alcohol, I think I turned to alcohol to cover up the feelings of never ending bad decisions and never feeling good enough for just about anything. Therefore, alcohol was just a way to escape and a coping mechanism and not the root of all my problems. Way to deep for 330pm....on a Tuesday. But im on day 8 so that's good, have to work, so no drinking regardless. Happy Tuesday!

Itchy

Do that!

Fernaceman

Wow amazing! I feel the exact same way AND notice the same thing!
AND this is my 8th day too!!!

Yeah I find myself thinking way too deeply and over analyzing things sometimes...I struggle with the concept of some things not having a clear answer to them. It's my insane control issues. I have to know the whys behind everything so I can expect any or all outcomes!

Staying positive helps...

The only true thing I have direct control over is my attitude and reactions to he people, places, and things around me.

lilgolden73

Im trying to stay positive, everything has changed so much in my life....too much at once! I am.physically and emotionally depleted.....ughhh

MycoolFitz

Good for you. I can relate my ex and I had problems but she could always say its your drinking. When I quit drinking and we still had problems that is when it got really tough.

lilgolden73

I was in that same situation fitz ...my drinking increased when my marriage problems started getting worse, he blamed it on the alcohol, but we both knew it was more than that

MycoolFitz

Yea it's strange she helped push me into treatment but when I got sober there was a distance that could not be blamed on addiction. As a band once said What A Long Strange Trip Its Been. But today is today, not yesterday or tomorrow

MIRecovery

I will not blame my drinking on my marriage but I will blame my marriage on my drinking. Never should have been married in the first place and definately should not have stayed married for 18 yrs but if you are drunk enough you can tolerate a lot of things.

Putting the plug in the jug is only the beginning of the healing

Anna

Lilgolden, it surprised me to learn that alcoholism was not about the drinking.

Like you, I had many issues long before I began drinking. I was depressed, anxious and a super control-freak. Alcohol was a self-medication for me, which quickly made things worse. And, then, I still had to deal with all the other stuff.

But, don't get overwhelmed or discouraged. Know that you're on the right track and moving forward.

lilgolden73

My husband died suddenly....which left me with alot of unfinished business....and more drinking!!

MycoolFitz

I'm sorry

lilgolden73

Thanks Anna, I have felt many of the same things!

lilgolden73

Thanks Fitz...I may get into all that at some point....

Hevyn

lilgolden - This is painful, but good progress. To be sorting things out without turning to alcohol to numb your feelings & emotions is scary, but necessary. Proud of you for your 8 days.

perea3

Congrats on day 8. I'm starting over. My name is Diana. Nice to meet you. I'm at work till 5:00. I like work because It keeps me sober.
good luck
Diana

Fernaceman

Hi Diana! Way to be!

I am at work too...kinda worried that I might get into trouble for bein on this forum all day but its better than getting in trouble for being drunk LOL!

lilgolden73

Hi Diana!!! Nice too meet you!! I admit I end up on SR at work whenever I get a chance!

MycoolFitz

I end up not working whenever I get a chance

lilgolden73

Not an option with me fitz...the kid likes to eat....and more than once a day and then she just has to have clothes and shoes.....the nerve I tell ya!!

MycoolFitz

Yea I'm retired, no kids ecept myself.