MythOfSisyphus

Just curious, folks. When you quit did you make it known to your friends and/or family? I'm going on a week and a half or so sober but I haven't mentioned it to anyone, for lots of reasons.

First off, at work all my coworkers drink. Many of them would view my quitting as a "challenge" and try to get to me to have a few. Partly because I'm keep my personal life close to the vest and am a standout at work, even when I'm perpetually hung over (yeah, I'm pretty much a rock star in the kitchen). No one I work with would think of my drinking as problematic, mostly because most of them drink the same way!

Next, I haven't mentioned it to my family because I'm not sure what the point would be. I'm very close to my brother but he doesn't believe alcoholism is a disease at all. He realizes I sometimes drink too much, but he doesn't know how much and doesn't think it's a problem anyway. In his mind I'm not getting drunk and driving and I do well in school and at work. He drinks but is blessed to be "normal"; he can drink 2 and walk away like a "normal" person.

The only reason I wonder is that, since no one knows, I could start again and no one would know or care. So telling people would create at least some sense of "consequences" or at least give cause for shame if I slip!

What do you all say?

Black

Hi Mythofsisyphus,

My Hubby and children know of course and the only other person I mentioned it to was my youngest sister as she gave up drinking about 10 years ago when she was in her late twenties. She encourages me on the phone and knows I am doing my best and if I break tomorrow ( don't intend to though) she knows I tried and would try again.
I guess it is easier for us to get used to the idea and a few weeks or months over us before anyone knows. It really is our own business until we decide who to tell.

Dee74

I told everyone when I quit - I wanted no places to hide, and of course, for me, I'd become the neighbourhood drunk -it was no longer a secret anyway.


These days? I think those closest to us need to know - I wasn't in a relationship then but I can't imagine not telling my partner.

Outside that inner circle - I think it's up to you - whatever you feel comfortable with

D

renaldo

My addiction tells me to only inform people of our "trial breakup" if those people won't abandon me if we start seeing each other again. That's how devious it is.

It says: "I don't mind if you tell your friends about our breakup, but some of them might not understand that it might not be forever. I just can't quit you Renaldo, but if feel I should go I will. I just want you to know that I still love you and I never meant to hurt you."

Bgh2002

I told family and a few friends. I didn't want to broadcast it. However those people told people and so forth. I don't mind. However you can sure tell by looking at me that I don't anymore.

MrsKing

Everyone knows that I don't drink now. I haven't really gone into details with anyone about the reasons why but they've probably figured it out.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sure it's obvious that I don't come in to work completely hung over! But to be honest I work evenings, so even after a bender I'm usually fine by then. Still, eventually I'll have to let a few people know. As a chef I do a lot of sharpening for the guys, and often they'll pay me with a bottle of wine. And my brother usually buys me the best bottle he can afford at Xmas time. No sense in letting everyone waste money on something I don't want anymore.

But that's why I asked: I don't want to use the fact that no one knows as an excuse to have "just one last bender, for old time's sake..." It's more that I don't think it's that big a deal in a way, if that makes any sense! It's big to me reaching the goals I have in life but I'm not a different person. I don't want people to think they have to have kid gloves around me. In my job I'm surrounded with people drinking, and so far it doesn't bug me a bit. If I drink, I will die. When viewed in that framework I'm not really all that tempted!

backbeat

My family knows, but for my drinking friends/coworkers, I told them I'm on a medication and can't drink or I'll get really sick. First of all that's actually true, although I was doing it anyway the last year. But second, this deters anybody from trying to persuade me to change my mind. I don't want to hear arguments trying to get me to drink - at least not right now in the beginning.

uniquesituation

I haven't. From ten feet away I guess it seems like I have everything all together.

And what on earth would I say to my friends or family anyway? Sorry you are struggling to pay your mortgage, I'm bored, please worry about me? I don't think that would work.

tammy711

I have told my husband and 2 of my drinking buddy neighbors. I am on day 51 today and am floored (surprised) my sister, niece, mom, and dad haven't noticed. I think Thanksgiving it will be very clear. But, we'll see. :- )

hypochondriac

I told everyone that I'd quit drinking.. I felt like I had to warn people. This was the biggest deal in the world to me so it was kinda natural that I was going to be dramatic about it I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your colleagues would view it as a challenge. I think mine did. But then I couldn't have just pretended I was still drinking, that would have been weird.

I didn't tell them why I was quitting though, just that I'd quit. I may have made some reference to health reasons, loosing weight... But with my family I told them everything, about 3 months after I quit. I did that because I had visions of them doing what my colleagues were doing...trying to convince me that 'one wouldn't kill me'... and I just couldn't bear it from them too. Needless to say they didn't take it well. There was a lot of them trying to convince me I wasn't really an alcoholic which my AV loved! The good news is that my mum and sister have really cut back on their drinking now, I think I may have scared them into that, but I think they think I am over reacting, I don't think my mum believes in alcoholism, even though she has a few friends who died from it. In retrospect I got no benefit from telling them.

I kind of thought telling people would keep me more accountable, but really the only person you have to be accountable to is yourself. It was enough to deal with my own doubts without having to worry about other peoples too. I have people in AA who check up on me so I am accountable to them and to people here. But most of all to myself. It is nice to have people in real life to talk to though so if you don't do AA it might be worth telling a select person or two just for support x

GypsyHeart

i haven't told anyone. ppl in this town tend to use things against you. and my friends... they don't judge what i do whether it's drinking or not drinking. so no need to make a grand statement to them. i haven't been in a situation where i have to say yea or nea yet but don't forsee any problem there either.

fallingtogether

I told the people I a, closest with, simply because I wanted people to talk to about it, incase I was feeling thee need. They have all been very receptive and super supportive. I also wanted to be held accountable. Today I am not worried about letting myself or my friends/family down, but who knows what tomorrow holds? Anyways, I have tried quitting several times before and didn't tell people because I didn't think it was their business. It got me nowhere. It's my business. Period. And I needed people to know what I was going through, that being said, I haven't told them all the entire story of what got me here.

jennikate

I had a pretty low bottom(ambulances, rehab, car accident, psych ward, etc) and most everyone who knows me knew about my problem. They all know that I am an alcoholic and that I don't drink and spend lots of nights at meetings. I didn't make an announcement or anything though. At work, it's like the elephant in the room. They know and I know they know but no one talks about it.

Natom

Hi MOS,

My Mum and Dad knew about my addiction and know about my recovery. My brothers kinda know something is going on in my life but they are still a bit too young to understand fully. My sister doesn't know but she has learning disabilities so she wouldn't really be able to understand. And only a few other people in my family, but outside of my immediate family know.

Regarding friends and co-workers. My friends know. I am very open about it. They usually don't ask about it but when I do talk about it they are normally interested. I don't normally tell my co-workers about it. Sometimes there may be a situation such as a work meal or drinks where I have to run a spiel on why I don't drink. In the past at a previous job I was very open about it. I had my clean-time keyrings on my keys etc. I have just started a new job and haven't told anyone there because it hasn't come up. I imagine it will at some point in the future but until then I don't have to worry about it.

When I meet new people it's a very very interesting conversation starter. I think a lot of people think there is some kind of dark mysticism type fantasy surrounding recovering addicts. I can only assume they got this assumption from the media but I must admit I do play on it a bit. Because you know being a recovering addict is cool lol.

Wolfram

I have told my family and friends, my ex, all and don't hide my problem no more. I am honest with myself, and it is a very important step for me.

Just though I'd share

MIRecovery

I eased into it. At the beginning only a few people knew. As I had success the circle became wider. Today I niether broadcast it nor hide it.

I do keep it secret in my professional life because there are too many people with agenda's that may not be in my best interest.

renaldo

Robin Williams did a stand-up comedy HBO special. He touched on tons of subjects as he always does - going a mile a minute, but during the special he talked openly of going to rehab. He's talked about it on talk shows too. I guess in the same way that he said in his HBO special that as a backup plan he went to rehab in the wine country, now that he's completed rehab, he's making sure he can't go back to his old ways by letting everyone know the path he's chosen.

I'm scared about who to inform. I told one friend about my last seizure and was very forthcoming about it, but I hadn't yet made the decision to go to rehab. By the next time I talked to a friend, I had made up my mind to go to rehab and I told him. I told my Mom during our weekly phone conversation.

I've been through various programs and always eased my way back into drinking, only to run into more problems. It seems innocent at first - just 2 beers and I'm not going to drive. And I never have driven after having even a swig of beer since my last DUI, but eventually the 2 beers becomes 2.5, then 3 and more, and there I am again with health problems.

I don't get in fights, go to bars, or any of that stuff. It's more motivation and health problems.

By motivation problems I mean that I tell myself, 'Screw it! I'm tired of spending hours applying for jobs online only to get no acknowledgement of having applied, and going to the occasional job interview, only to be told that they chose someone else (or no return phone call at all). I deserve to watch a film and drink some beer.'

And by health problems, I'm including falling down on my bicycle when my license was suspended, getting a concussion, and being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Now it's seizures. Good grief.

I went to a free clinic yesterday and told the Dr. all the particulars. He said I'm definitely an alcoholic, but the seizures could be due to other things as well. More doctors appointments to suss it out. I never had these problems with pot, but I stopped that because a temp agency I'm registered with said that they drug test if and when they find registered applicants a potential job.

But it's been over a year and a half and they haven't gotten anything for me, so I finally did smoke a little with a friend on 2 occasions. He always brings pot over my apartment when he comes and up until the last two visits, I've always told him, "no, I can't smoke." He smokes right in front of me, which is fine.

Things are totally bassackwards in the U.S. I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but I've never heard of someone dying from pot.

ricmcc

l would say that I only mention my having stopped drinking if it happens to come up naturally in conversation, the exception being that I did tell people closest to me, that is, people who would be directly effected by it such as family. So i guess that I niether hide nor advertise the fact. I did tell my doctor, as I need to take several meds that interact with alcohol, so needed to have have some adjustments made in dosages. It really is not something that I think about a great deal--talking of recovery, I mean, recovery I do think about a great deal Rick

flutter

People close to me knew I drank too much, and were happy that I stopped. Really, it's not complicated to me. I'm a non-drinker and that's the extent of it at this point. If asked or pressed, I quit because drinking was unhealthy for me, but honestly it's not anyone's business.