Bad day at work
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 360
Bad day at work
Today I said that I would be impeccable with my word. This means that I refuse to take part in gossip or say unkind things about other people, it's as if some higher power has decided to mock me for this decision.
I work in the food industry and there is an area manager who seems to dislike me. He doesn't shout or get verbally abusive, but his mannerisms and behavior are very harmful. For YEARS this man has belittled me and made me to believe that I am inadequate. No matter what I do, everything is a mistake, it's never right. I try so hard to please him, I do things by the book but get shot down every time, and now my self esteem is stretched thin. He acts like I am incompetent, it's in his voice and the way he talks to me.
Today he was RIGHT THERE, for two hours straight, I had to put up with it. Everything I do is wrong, I'm not fast enough, not smart enough, I'm not doing what I should be doing, not living up to the company standards. My hands shook and I felt physically sick, now it's settled down into a smoldering pit in my stomach and I am very, very angry.
In the past I didn't view my drinking as a problem, I would have just said "F--- him" and gone to the liquor store after work, I'd be drinking right now and laughing at how he can't ruin my buzz at least. Those days are over now, I've come too far to do it that way, but I am seriously upset.
I work in the food industry and there is an area manager who seems to dislike me. He doesn't shout or get verbally abusive, but his mannerisms and behavior are very harmful. For YEARS this man has belittled me and made me to believe that I am inadequate. No matter what I do, everything is a mistake, it's never right. I try so hard to please him, I do things by the book but get shot down every time, and now my self esteem is stretched thin. He acts like I am incompetent, it's in his voice and the way he talks to me.
Today he was RIGHT THERE, for two hours straight, I had to put up with it. Everything I do is wrong, I'm not fast enough, not smart enough, I'm not doing what I should be doing, not living up to the company standards. My hands shook and I felt physically sick, now it's settled down into a smoldering pit in my stomach and I am very, very angry.
In the past I didn't view my drinking as a problem, I would have just said "F--- him" and gone to the liquor store after work, I'd be drinking right now and laughing at how he can't ruin my buzz at least. Those days are over now, I've come too far to do it that way, but I am seriously upset.
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If I am going to find a higher power it needs to come to me in a natural and inspiring way, and right now that's not something that I have in my life. A lot of people have found god or a higher power through AA, and that's great, but it's not something I want to do at this time in my life, I am fairly happy, but not perfect, I have a lot of anger, and sometimes there are going to be very difficult days, sobriety will not save me from this. If I am not at a point where I feel that I need a higher power, there surely must be something that I can do to dissolve the lingering bitterness I have towards this man and the other people I work with?
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Ekhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer books helped me find a definition of "higher power" that resonated with me more than Bible-based definitions. Check out some reviews on Amazon and you might find something that resonates with you.
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Hi, admiral. I used to have a boss like that. Chances are that the person who is giving you hard times, has a low self-esteem himself and tries to improve it at somebidy else's expence, feeling some kind of superior. If there is no other way out, try to imagine him in some ridiculous situation, standing in front of your in his underwear and with a funny hat on. Something that will make you smile and reduce tension. Or imagine there is a bulletproof glass between you and him, and all these negative words and attitude hi is throwing at you are just coming back to him. Such people are like vampires, they expect you to react emotionally. Once you show you are not afraid any more, they start losing interest.
I also used to take kickboxing classes to blow off steam after work. Helped a lot.
Do not let some nasty person at work ruin you life.
Take care.
I also used to take kickboxing classes to blow off steam after work. Helped a lot.
Do not let some nasty person at work ruin you life.
Take care.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
If you belong to a union, you can do something about this person. If not, you might benefit from working on shame. i had that very situation with a person in mgmt. I had to remind myself each day that she did not define who I am with her evil attitude. I worked hard to hold my head up and see that it was her problem, and not about me.
it isnt easy. especially when you have to work closely. i hope you have a union. then you can call him to task for this behavior. or maybe you can ask him, in front of another mgr, why he seems to have so much of a problem with you. or maybe request a meeting of mgmt, and discuss his behavior. it is generally against company policy for a worker to be treated abusively.
that is a reason to ask for a meeting, and makes it look like you are a fair person who wants their work environment to be bearable.
he is probably a miserable wretch, and as mentioned , with low self esteem, trying to feel better about his self by making someone else miserable.
stand tall, be your best person, and maybe ask him. do you have a problem with me, or is it you are just an azzhole...no not really, but it would be nice if you could say that, huh?
best to you
chicory
it isnt easy. especially when you have to work closely. i hope you have a union. then you can call him to task for this behavior. or maybe you can ask him, in front of another mgr, why he seems to have so much of a problem with you. or maybe request a meeting of mgmt, and discuss his behavior. it is generally against company policy for a worker to be treated abusively.
that is a reason to ask for a meeting, and makes it look like you are a fair person who wants their work environment to be bearable.
he is probably a miserable wretch, and as mentioned , with low self esteem, trying to feel better about his self by making someone else miserable.
stand tall, be your best person, and maybe ask him. do you have a problem with me, or is it you are just an azzhole...no not really, but it would be nice if you could say that, huh?
best to you
chicory
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Don't let the bastards grind ya down Admiral!
Is there is a HR department you can talk to. If you are not doing things up to company standard then it is there responsibility to help you. I'm not saying he's right, just that it isn't appropriate to criticise someone without saying 'how can we help you to do your job better'.
In the mean time don't let him wind you up. I don't know if this helps or not but when someone is really winding me up I try being really nice to them, make them cups of tea and stuff. It confuses people cos sometimes I think they're looking for a rise x
Is there is a HR department you can talk to. If you are not doing things up to company standard then it is there responsibility to help you. I'm not saying he's right, just that it isn't appropriate to criticise someone without saying 'how can we help you to do your job better'.
In the mean time don't let him wind you up. I don't know if this helps or not but when someone is really winding me up I try being really nice to them, make them cups of tea and stuff. It confuses people cos sometimes I think they're looking for a rise x
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