Still Anxious after all these years
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 179
Still Anxious after all these years
So, it's Dad's birthday today. I'll call him on the drive home, like I call and wish him a happy birthday every year. (happy, haha, i choke on that).
I'm always anxious before I call him. Never know which Dad i'm going to get. Sober Dad or Drunk Dad. If it's the latter, i'll just wish him a happy day and hang up. If it's sober dad we may talk for a bit. He isn't half bad to talk to when he is sober.
Oh, how I hate the few seconds when the phone is ringing. The anticipation and panic of who is going to answer.
If it's drunk dad and I hang up on him. I'm likely to get a call from my brother an hour or two later telling me what an ungrateful runt I am for treating his drinking buddy so badly. blargh. Families are fun.
You would think after 42 years of saying it, it would be easier to say. Happy birthday Dad.
I'm always anxious before I call him. Never know which Dad i'm going to get. Sober Dad or Drunk Dad. If it's the latter, i'll just wish him a happy day and hang up. If it's sober dad we may talk for a bit. He isn't half bad to talk to when he is sober.
Oh, how I hate the few seconds when the phone is ringing. The anticipation and panic of who is going to answer.
If it's drunk dad and I hang up on him. I'm likely to get a call from my brother an hour or two later telling me what an ungrateful runt I am for treating his drinking buddy so badly. blargh. Families are fun.
You would think after 42 years of saying it, it would be easier to say. Happy birthday Dad.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
My A Dad wouldn't talk on the phone so my Mom would. Then he would get on and say a few things and tell me they had to hang up. I would send Birthday cards trying to find one that is just ok and not mushy. Good luck. Just go for it and don't let it overwhelm you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 33
I'm 19 and when I go home to visit my dad I always get nervous that something bad will happen and lead him to a drink. It makes me so anxious. I'm used to my dad by now being drunk and hes settled down alot, but just the thought that it could get bad scares me. His drinking obviously was traumatic for you so its understandable you would be anxious and I commend you for trying to stay connected, but it does more harm than good you should consider doing something else. Maybe mailing a card. Its still a sweet sentiment. Your thinking about how your dad will feel if you dont say happy birthday but just consider how it makes you feel. I wish you the best. 
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