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Hi I'm new! Looking for support and hopefully support others!

Old 10-15-2012, 03:58 AM
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Hi I'm new! Looking for support and hopefully support others!

Hi there!

Really glad I found this forum. There seems to be a fantastic network of people here with some very inspiring recovery stories, tips and strategies.

If you would indulge me I'd just like to tell you a bit about myself, just to get it out of the way - then I can't wait to read some of your posts!

I'm 24 and have been drinking heavily for for 6 years now. It started after the breakdown of my first long term relationship. A friend of mine once told me that things will just get worse and worse. I really wish I'd have listened to him. But then I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to the denile we so greatly apply to our habits. I read on here, a fantastic post, that there is a kind of insanity we suffer whereby we forget about all the times we would never want to relive, nor wish on anyone else. Yet at times we find ourselves urged to use again. It's a warped kind of optimism that things will be 'different' this time.

I know there are restrictions about mentioning suicide and I completely agree with the boards policy on threats etc. But My story, I hope would be a positive one. Seven months ago I became so down and depressed I started to medicate myself with illicit drugs. They bought me to a new low and I can only describe that 6 months of my life as hell. I began to hear voices, I believed all kinds of crazy things and tried to end my life several times. Without going into to much detail I ended up in a resuscitation with possible spine damage, and dragged away by police from known suicide hotspots and pulled out of a freezing river hyperthermic and nearly naked. My point being my life was gone. I was merely existing. I was a shell of a person I use to be. And death seemed my only release.

I started treatment about 3 months ago and only about a month ago started to do something about it. I managed 3 weeks sober and unfortunately had a relapse yesterday. I did some awful things and upset a lot of people. But what is so different is that I woke up, dusted my self off and said to myself that today is a new day. That 3 weeks of sobriety were the happiest of my life. I hope that can be in some way comforting to people who are struggling with detoxes, although I know everyone has different feelings and situations, and substances. That feeling of being in sober and in control - it really can't be beat.

I know now that suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. I know now more than ever that alcohol is a good slave, but a terrible master.

We can be fixed, and not disregarding a good support network, I believe ultimately only we and we alone can make the choice to take a substance or to not. We must control them, they must not control us. When I get a craving for alcohol I smile smugly. I personify it and I say, "no alcohol! - you want me but you can't have me!" I say "You are a bad entity alcohol and you only cause devastating pain, damage and destruction - And I need you no more!" My cravings soon leave. And alcohol does not win. I'd love to hear of any other methods from recovering substance users?

I do not want to get complacent because as I found out that can lead to a relapse. But I totally agree with the fact I was willing to go to any measures to get a drink, so it is logical to put in the same effort to do the opposite. Put it above everything else. I would have no job if I kept drinking. I would have no sanity if I kept drinking. That is my priority. Does anyone feel the same?

Furthermore I can only commend the family and friends of people on here, seeking and offering advice, and who are standing by their loved ones through what can often be a living hell.

I am happy today - I am joyful that I am sober right now. I am joyful I found your forum and I am elated to be alive. I wish all the love in the world and luck to anyone who is recovering or still struggling with a substance.

Peace!

theonlywayisup
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:09 AM
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Hello and welcome to SR.

I recently turned 25 but I got sober when I was 24, and like you I had also been drinking heavily for 6 years. I've been sober 6 months now and I am the happiest I've ever been. I'm achieving goals I've set for myself (would never have happened before) and I'm learning to truly like myself. I was paralysed by depression and anxiety when I drank and I can't believe it took me so long to realise that alcohol was the cause of it. You are totally right when you say being sober and in control cannot be beat - that's exactly how I feel, and I promise you that it doesn't get old (or at least it hasn't for me yet, anyway) - I am still excited by the possibilities ahead of me now that I am sober.

Also, you may want to check out AVRT (addictive voice recognition tecnique) it is a method I use and from what you've said about how you stop yourself drinking alcohol, I think it's something you might benefit from - what you're doing already sounds pretty similar.

Good to have you here. Wishing you all the best.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:57 AM
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Thanks MrsKing

Great to hear you've made such a positive change in your life. I'm nearly 25 too! So glad to hear that your enjoyment sobriety doesn't get old, that really made my day reading that.

We have a similar story - depression and anxiety. I take anti depressents now which are exceptional. They take away that empty feeling that drink would get rid of for the first 20 mins.

Great to hear from you!

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