Lostandlost

what happens to the person who doesnt know how to control their addiction and is filled with pain! At first i only was doing cocaine went i went out to the clubs but now i do drugs in my house by myself becuz im ashamed of what i have become! for the last year everytime i get paid i spend half my check on drugs then after i do it i regret what i have done! im my own worst enemy! i lost my car.ive isolated myself from the world and i feel like im lost! Today ive said the same thing ive said all year im going to stop! but as soon as i get money the cycle continues! and im literally broke and i need and pray that i lose this addiction before i lose my job or even worst lose myself!

scat143

i have no room to talk bc i still drink but as far as the coke issue, you have to remove yourself from the friends,work and sometimes family if its that accessiable. I left my son at age 5 with a stupid ex husband bc i couldn't control it. i haven't touched coke in 20 yrs althought i don't have a good relationship with my son. my son is 25 and we had a good relationship or so i thought until 2yrs ago. i feel for you. get away from it as fast as you can. i packed my car, dropped my son off and left. i can never go back there. ashamed but i am a better person, mother and have the best son,husband ever! sorry to you and whomever is reading this if this takes away from your pain.

Anna

Hi,

I think you're experiencing the horrible cycle of addiction, shame/pain and worsening addiction. There is a way out and you can live a sober life. You will find a lot of support and information here.

Impurrfect

((Lostandlost)) - Welcome to SR! I DID lose everything to addiction before I found recovery. It can be done, but we have to want recovery more than anything else. I've got over 5 years and SR has been a huge source of support.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Sapling

Welcome to SR Lostandlost....I've been where you are...But I did lose the jobs...And the wife...And the house...And damn near my life....And I did it with alcohol only. I needed a program of recovery that I knew worked and offered good support...And most important...Was free. I found that in AA and haven't had a drink in 15 months...Made new sober friends...And changed my life completely around.....I have friends that have gotten clean in NA....Narcotics Anonymous....If that is something that might interest you...AA and NA or very popular and are everywhere in Florida...I know...Because I'm in Florida...Here's a site you can look up meetings if you want to.

http://orlandona.org/

Lostandlost

This is my first time ever admitting that i have a problem! my checks are normally 1400 every two weeks and i spend 400 of it on coke! im trying my best to stop its just like as soon as i get paid i get the urge to buy drugs and sometimes it feels like i cant control myself! im crying right now becuz im too embarrased by my addiction and everything is falling apart all around me

Dee74

You'll find a lot of support here lostandlost - welcome

D

Lostandlost

to be honest i got high last night but today i truly feel that i want this more than ever! i started as a member today and i pray that i get the strength from this day forward to begin my journey towards sobriety! im tired of feeling like im wasting my life!