Caledonia1

Hi there needing some advice. I've been sober now for over 7 months but finding my husband seems to be drinking more & more. Each time he's becoming more abusive towards me.
Tonight when I picked him up from pub he opened the car door twice whilst we were travelling (our 2 kids were in the car.)
My little one said *daddy should stop drinking wine like you as it makes him mad*
My husband has been a tower of strength to me over the years, he's even been to an AA meeting but refuses to try Al-non and says there's no problem??? Yet tonight he said it's all over and I know come the morning he just say he loves me and he was just drunk.
So hard to stay angry or even talk about after everything I put him through.
Really don't know what to do. Any advice greatly welcome.
Thanks

kittycat3

Sounds like next time your husband is in that state he should find his own way home from the bar, one that does not put you, him, and the kids in a precarious state.
I don't think getting angry is the answer, but perhaps al-anon would be a good place for you to go. I don't know the extent of the abuse you say is escalating, if he is hitting you or the kids you should certainly take more drastic steps. Don't let your past act as an excuse for him to be abusive. You know more now and have taken steps to improve. Your kids deserve a safe environment and so do you.

Dee74

Hi Nicky

I don't think abuse is ever warranted no matter what form it takes, or what factors are involved.

Don't let your own guilt influence you here.

I know your husband is not Jack the Ripper, but it's clear all is not as it should be.
I hope you'll look at these links

Scottish Women's Aid:
Domestic violence: protecting yourself and getting help : Directgov - Crime and justice
Domestic Abuse Information

D

Mizzuno

What about talking to him and letting him know how his behavior is affecting you and your daughter? Stay in the present time with this.

hypochondriac

Sorry you're having a tough time Nicky x Maybe he's drinking more because he is conflicted about his own drinking and your sobriety is highlighting that. People don't like change. Even positive change scares the sh;t out of them. I hope everything is okay in the morning and that you're able to chat about it. *Hugs* xxx

Caledonia1

Thank yo all for your kind words, even posting it feels really disloyal. I've never even spoke of this at my meetings. I suppose Abusive is quite a strong word and it's not all that bad, just verbal. Still hurts though.
Not making me feel that great discussing him here, well kinda does, oh I don't know all mixed up tonight.
Early bed for me. (10pm here)
Night all and thanks

Dee74

even verbal abuse is abuse Nicky.

D

artsoul

I agree with everyone here. Alcohol and anger are a dangerous combination and your children are being affected. It's scary to think what could happen if your husband had a blackout. I hope he's willing to address this with you but if not, you need to be prepared to leave, at least temporarily.

Anna

Nicky, I'm sorry you're going through this.

As Dee said, verbal abuse is abuse and your kids are learning it's okay to speak like that. And, opening the car door while driving is abusive too. Please take a look at the links Dee posted for you and take care of yourself and your children.