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Join Date: Oct 2012
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I found everybodys comments encouraging & felt good for a few hours but have doubts creeping in again. I helped my alcoholic boyfriend over a p addiction, he went to the doctor, I supported him & he has been clean for prob 11/2 years now. Does this mean I would also be a good support person to help him with his alcoholism or is this just me looking for hope & getting back in his life? I failed to mention previously that I had a P addiction about 6 years ago but checked myself in to rehab & did counselling & have been clean ever since.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
"Does this mean I would also be a good support person to help him with his alcoholism or is this just me looking for hope & getting back in his life? " (Rosiepetal)
NO and YES
NO, you cannot help him. Rosie, he is off partying he doesn't want to stop drinking. It's his problem, his choice, and it his recovery.
YES, you are trying to stay in his life, and in my humble opinion your thoughts have disaster written all over them.
Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself is why you are willing to settle for a guy with all these problems?
I have been a single mother, you have enough responsibility on your plate. If you are going to introduce a man into your kids life, he needs to be a MAN of strength and security. Drunks are not a good role model EVER.
Personally, I find drunk men so very unattractive, everything about a drunk man makes my stomach churn. No self control that's a big turn off for me.
i sure hope you are reading the stickies at the top of the forum, Living testimonials of life with an addict, a real eye opener.......
Keep posting, talking with others who are in the same situation really helped me to clear my head.
NO and YES
NO, you cannot help him. Rosie, he is off partying he doesn't want to stop drinking. It's his problem, his choice, and it his recovery.
YES, you are trying to stay in his life, and in my humble opinion your thoughts have disaster written all over them.
Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself is why you are willing to settle for a guy with all these problems?
I have been a single mother, you have enough responsibility on your plate. If you are going to introduce a man into your kids life, he needs to be a MAN of strength and security. Drunks are not a good role model EVER.
Personally, I find drunk men so very unattractive, everything about a drunk man makes my stomach churn. No self control that's a big turn off for me.
i sure hope you are reading the stickies at the top of the forum, Living testimonials of life with an addict, a real eye opener.......
Keep posting, talking with others who are in the same situation really helped me to clear my head.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Thank you.
I find it hard after being in touch with someone everyday for 21/2 years to just let go.
We shared some good times.
You are right we had bad times when he wasn't nice to my kids or my friends & all due to drink. Luckily I never really let him have too much involvement with the kids but he has made them feel bad sometimes & we've discussed this openly & the reasons & the kids have been great. My 12 year old daughter sees that he will never change & has told me this. We do know right from wrong.
I do feel a little isolated as alcoholic boyfriends are something kept behind closed doors to a certain degree & being on my own with the kids 24/7 & no time out it is really hard. I am starting to go out with them walking to get some of my frustrations out & their busy schedules with sports will keep us occupied.
I just didn't realise how hard letting go would be & I need to fight any idea of "HOPE" for him? Also the feeling of him partying up with his ex is not nice.
I find it hard after being in touch with someone everyday for 21/2 years to just let go.
We shared some good times.
You are right we had bad times when he wasn't nice to my kids or my friends & all due to drink. Luckily I never really let him have too much involvement with the kids but he has made them feel bad sometimes & we've discussed this openly & the reasons & the kids have been great. My 12 year old daughter sees that he will never change & has told me this. We do know right from wrong.
I do feel a little isolated as alcoholic boyfriends are something kept behind closed doors to a certain degree & being on my own with the kids 24/7 & no time out it is really hard. I am starting to go out with them walking to get some of my frustrations out & their busy schedules with sports will keep us occupied.
I just didn't realise how hard letting go would be & I need to fight any idea of "HOPE" for him? Also the feeling of him partying up with his ex is not nice.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
Partying with his ex would be a dealbreaker in my book.
Even if the two of you are broke up, he doesn't need to be rubbing your face in it. He has no class, and it's just rude. truly my definition of a jerk, a$$ loser.
Over a period of 5 years I felt rather isolated too, after XA was a sh*tshow, on so many occasions, I was embarrassed to show my face in public.
As much as it hurts today, it will get better. This heartache today is truly for the greater good, you are worthy of so much more. You have to tell yourself that everyday.
Even if the two of you are broke up, he doesn't need to be rubbing your face in it. He has no class, and it's just rude. truly my definition of a jerk, a$$ loser.
Over a period of 5 years I felt rather isolated too, after XA was a sh*tshow, on so many occasions, I was embarrassed to show my face in public.
As much as it hurts today, it will get better. This heartache today is truly for the greater good, you are worthy of so much more. You have to tell yourself that everyday.
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