I WAS avoiding my family...
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
I WAS avoiding my family...
Only for the pure reason that I relapsed and didn't want to tell them "until the time was right."
Looking at that statement, it tells me how manipulative my thinking really can be. I have been going to meetings because actions speak louder than words, but wanted to get some clean time under my belt before I told them what happened...Almost using the meetings themselves as a manipulative tool for them to "take the news better."
I did tell myself if they asked before I told them, they deserved to know. Well, God had a different plan for THAT! Got that feeling earlier today that they were going to call and ask how things were going. So, as opposed to lying, I simply told the truth. It went a lot better than I thought it would. No yelling, no crying, no judgements, no shame. Just, "well we are glad you are back on track today." Almost seems to me they have gotten a bit of Alanon wisdom instilled in them.
Quite shocked by the reaction, but glad it is over with. Lying is one thing, but a lie coupled with concealment makes it even worse. Slowly but surely beginning to understand the concept of rigorous honesty.
God bless,
William
Looking at that statement, it tells me how manipulative my thinking really can be. I have been going to meetings because actions speak louder than words, but wanted to get some clean time under my belt before I told them what happened...Almost using the meetings themselves as a manipulative tool for them to "take the news better."
I did tell myself if they asked before I told them, they deserved to know. Well, God had a different plan for THAT! Got that feeling earlier today that they were going to call and ask how things were going. So, as opposed to lying, I simply told the truth. It went a lot better than I thought it would. No yelling, no crying, no judgements, no shame. Just, "well we are glad you are back on track today." Almost seems to me they have gotten a bit of Alanon wisdom instilled in them.
Quite shocked by the reaction, but glad it is over with. Lying is one thing, but a lie coupled with concealment makes it even worse. Slowly but surely beginning to understand the concept of rigorous honesty.
God bless,
William
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 83
Glad that you are back with it! My parents live in a different state and I was sort of avoiding talking to them on the phone too because I did want them to ask and I did not want to disappoint them! (I will be 2 weeks sober tomorrow). It really is a manipulative way of thinking, thanks for pointing that out.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
When asked about the situation, yes. Usually it would be, "I'm doing GREAT, things are GREAT! blah blah blah." There is no point in that. No point putting on the mask and act that everything is a certain way when it simply isn't.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Fernaceman 
Slowly but surely beginning to understand the concept of rigorous honesty.
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