dSober

I believe it was a miracle (or fate, or whatever) that got me here. Yesterday I was watching Pulp Fiction on DVD when, near the end, Samuel Jackson said: "it's what alcoholics call a moment of clarity". Well, at that moment, I felt a strong urge for clarity so I googled "alcoholic moment of clarity" and here I am.

Been here most of the day. I believe I may have helped some people and I KNOW they've helped me. I believe that's what AA/NA/CA, etc... is all about. A fellowship of people helping each other in a way that non-addicts simply can't because they haven't been there.

I've been to lots of meetings; had lots of sponsors; worked the steps lots of times. Given that, needless to say, I've had lots of relapses. They're getting close to killing me but I don't want that.

I'm a tech. geek and on the internet a lot. This place is just what the doctor: Doctor Bob ordered for me.

Itchy

Welcome,
Techie here too and sober a couple of years thanks to a start from AA and here on SR. Us geeks avoid social failures by interacting with machines and getting good at manipulating them. It's just a hop skip and a jump to addiction. Glad you are trying to come back. Sounds like you have been getting ready to get sober for a long time. I hope you decide to stop getting ready and start getting to it now that you are here. I thought it was time for me too.

Delilah1

I have been on this site twice before, and didn't do anything else. So today I went to the addiction center through my insurance, and will see an individual counselor once a week, as well as complete four weeks of education/support classes. I also attended my first AA meeting, and felt very welcomed and supported. Determined to make this the last time I have to post "Day one again"

dSober

I'm at day 26 now, this time around. Made 30 a few times but never managed to get my 90 day pin. My son says he remembers my getting 60 days once but I don't (I don't rememeber something, big surprise :-). I want that 90 day pin, and more!

dSober

I hope you don't have to say that again either Delilah, for your sake. You'll save yourself, and everyone around you, a lot of pain and heartache.

But even if you do, you'll be welcome here, with open arms, just keep coming back.

dSober

Thanks for the BIG welcome Itchy. Yeah, I guess obsessive people are drawn to gadgets too. Started as a HW geek first then moved to SW. Java's my favorite.

As for recovery, I've found that wanting it isn't enough. I have to keep my feet moving, one step after the other. This place lets me do that just about any time I please.

In fact, as I posted elsewhere, those feet are going to carry me to a very local mtg. Sunday night that I haven't been to in over a year. Yes, I'm sticking my neck out and making that commitment, to myself. I know that's where I need to be, then.

dSober

Congrats on day 9 CloseToRecovery. Stay the course. This place has already been a BIG help to me.

Natom

This truly is a wonderful place. It allows us all to work a 12th step and give people support and experience.

Obladi

Hey dSober, I'm a techie too.
Struggling like gangbustas at the moment, on my one year record of six consecutive days, oy.
Funny how it flips just like that, eh.

Anyhow, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. Looks like you got your head on straight.

Itchy

Well good bud!
I hope that you stay here a good long time doing the 12th step too! I just get a kick out of sticking around with my friends here, and seeing the excitement when one of us new or older in sobriety make a breakthrough. There is a lot of collective wisdom and philosophy here, I learn daily.

dSober

Don't let me fool you Obladi. I'm trying to get my head on straight, and keep it that way, but I've got a ways to go yet.

Yeah, addiction is sneaky. It'll take your a** down when you least expect it, or when you do, it doesn't care.

Nice to meet you, Natom, and everyone here!

dSober

P.S. Natom, thanks for putting my eyes back in my Big Book yet again today; it's been too long since I did. Had to look up the 12th step. "Having had a spritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principals in all our affairs."

I don't think there was much of an internet back in 1939 when this was first published :-) but I dare say, if there were, the Big Book's authors woulda been on it like flies on... well, you know.

Hevyn

That's great to hear, dSober. Congratulations on your 26 days.

I was out of hope when I found this place. I'd tried so many times to stop destroying myself, but nothing worked until I found SR. I think it was because I knew I wasn't alone anymore. I felt calmer and more encouraged than I ever had. Happy to have you here, sharing your hope and inspiration.

dSober

Thanks Hevyn, damn right, we're waaaay far from alone.

Upstate NY eh? I was in Portchester on Tuesday, collecting a copy of my birth certificate from the village clerk (yeah, I know, not really upstate), worked for IBM one summer in Endicott/Binghampton, visited friends in school in Oswego and Brockport, and my family heralds from Buffalo and Pennsylvania. I flew over the Beatles concert at Shea Stadium on the way to my great grand father's funeral there. No... I'm not telling when but not too hard to guess :-)

Hevyn

That's amazing - you 'seem' much younger than that! (If you can tell from a post.)

We just moved up here a year ago from Ocean City, MD. First to the Catskills, & now we're in Cooperstown. Would like to end up in the Woodstock area if possible.

So happy you are doing well!

dSober

Thanks Hevyn. Nope I'm 55. I wish I had made it to the concert in Woodstock. Missed it by being just a couple of years too young, believe it or not :-)

My wife and I stayed in Ocean City, MD for a couple of days once. I seem to remember some kind of island or something just south of the boardwalk with wild horses on it???

She took my 2 youngest kids up to Cooperstown a few years ago. I didn't go. We were seperated at the time and I was drinking too much anyway. Fortunately, my wife was not drinking much back then so she could take them.

My son played little league baseball and my daughters both played softball, they wanted to check out the Hall of Fame. My oldest didn't go as she was living with me and was past her softball years anyway. Although they got lost on the way up (I had always done most of the distance mapping and driving; no civilian GPS even a few years ago) they had a great time; without me.

Thanks for the happiness too!

Dee74

great to have you here dsober
you too CTR and Delilah

I was drawn here too - call it kismet, accident or divine intervention, I saved my life here I think

D

dSober

Wouldn't suprise me a bit if SR saved your life Dee. I hope it can help save mine. I know it can, if I let it.

Elisabeth888

Delilah1

Pregnancy is the only extended period of time I was sober since the age of 14. I am looking forward to 30 days. This site makes me feel like I have an entire community to support me as I get there and celebrate when I do. My kids are 5,7, and 9. I haven't shared anything with them, due to their age, but I know I will need to share in the future since alcoholism runs on both sides of their family.