Dan23

I haven't seen my friends since I been sober because their basically my drinking partners and I told them I'm not going into pubs or clubs anymore but today we met up and went to the bowling ally and had a few games of pool then a few games at bowling and it was great there was no talk about going to a pub and we are going to do it again soon. I'm really glad I have realised just because I can't drink anymore doesn't mean I can't see my friends anymore, there are other things to do besides sit in a pub hope everyone here is doing ok

Natom

It's nice things have worked out that way Dan. Just be aware that they were still your drinking buddies and in the future situations might come up that you will have to be wary about.

Dee74

I'm glad you had a good time Dan, and I hope you'll continue to find support in your social group.

My real friends supported me too - but some others I had to let go because their life was drinking and their default position was the pub - sometimes we have to make tough decisions.

I'd be prepared for that Dan.

D

ForMyGirls

I have a group of close friends that I've known since grade school. We all still live near one another, and we all still hang out, fish, hunt, etc. together. They all drink, but probably not to the extent that I do/was (unless they're as good at covering it up as I am)...

There was a group text message going around yesterday about us all taking one of our buddies out Saturday night because he has been going through some tough times lately. I sent out that I had quit drinking, and several of them replied, "good!!! You can be our designated driver!!!" :rotfxko

Moral of the story is that if your "friends" don't want to hang out with you because you don't want to drink no more then they most likely were never your friends in the first place....

MIRecovery

IMO

Being designated driver ...... Good thing

Being around a bunch of drinking buddies that are drinking.......Very bad thing

ForMyGirls

Probably... But I've always welcomed challenges. I do not want to let my choice to not drink lead me to a sheltered existence.

Hell, I've had 3 beers left in my fridge since I made the decision not to drink. Most people would have said to dump them, but I'd rather have them around so that I can politely offer them to friends or family that may stop by...

MY CHOICE should have no effect on what others choose to do. I think that those in recovery who expect people to walk on pins and needles around them when it comes to drinking alcohol are selfish. Your choices in life should have no bearing on what others choose to do, and I have enjoyed the company of my friends mentioned above for 30+ years of my 39 years here on this rock.

I'll be the DD Saturday, and laugh at their drunk azzes....:rotfxko

Hexipuff

I agree FMG, I feel the same way. If I don't feel I can enjoy a night out surrounded by people drinking I choose not to go or leave early. There is alcohol in our house because it is OUR house not mine.
My bad, my problem = I'll deal with it and the consequences good or bad

Misguided

That's great that your friends are supportive.

There will probably come a time that you are going to get tired of being the DD or constantly around others drinking. Or you will give in to temptation (I'm hoping not the latter) That's when you'll figure out who the real friends are vs drinking buddies.

I agree that others don't have to stop drinking because we chose to be sober, but we (sober folks) are also not bound to being forced to go sit in a bar or be surrounded by alcohol to have a good time. There is life without alcohol being involved and there are some people who can't live life without involving alcohol.

FreeFall

ForMyGirls, I feel the same way. It's a challenge to hang out with friends that are drinking, but I want them in my life. I do find I want them in my life in shorter doses though lol I find I get bored very easily when we're out. We only hang out in one small local place, so if you're not drinking it's not very amusing or entertaining. I haven't found much to replace it yet but am hoping to. I love to read and catch up on tv or movies, but I can't do that all the time.

Dan, I'm glad you can do some of the other activities with your friends and still have fun

laurie6781

I lost a lot of my 'so called friends' when I found recovery, but there were exactly
2 that 'stuck' with me. They had watched over me while I nearly drank myself to
death, they were the two people that I could go to when living on the streets and
shower at their places, so I basically got a shower twice a week at a minimum.

The first few months sober I absolutely was 'terrified' of going anywhere there was
alcohol and they understood that and would suggest things for us to do that there
would be no alcohol.

Just after I turned 6 months sober, the 'company Christmas party' occurred. I went
with a firm conviction to only stay until the gift exchange was done and then leave.
Well after the gift exchange, the Department Managers handed out the envelopes
with the Christmas bonuses in them.

My boss handed me 2 envelopes. One was my bonus and one was from him. In
it was a note congratulating me on my 6 months, and a brass coin instead of the
plastic ones given at meetings commemorating my 6 months. He also included
the time and place of a meeting he thought I might like. I hadn't even known he
was in AA and I actually started to cry and they were happy tears, trust me. I still
have that coin, it has a very special meaning for me!

I said my 'good nights' and a special thank you to my boss and left. I heard later
that some of them got pretty drunk and I sure was glad I had left when I did.

Of course as time has gone on, I do not have a problem being in any situation that
there might be alcohol as long "as I have a legitimate reason for being there" in-
cluding having to work as a bar tender for almost a year from 6 years to 7 years
into my sobriety as there was no other work available in the town I was living in.

Yes, I too have been DD many times, but I also find it not very funny after a while
and just see those drinking getting drunk folks as very sick people.

J M H O

Love and hugs,