sean0621

I have tried to beat this myself the way I tried to beat smoking. I believe now that drinking is more embedded in my personality and philosophy. I guess I always believed that. So much has gone wrong in my life that is my fault...mine not my drinking. But much of the wrong drinking was involved. Drinking was and is still like a crutch. I understand the phrase ''the elephant in the room'' a line I really didn't really fully understand until recently. It's like all of a sudden why can't I afford to buy a new car/tv/go out to eat. Why am I living in a cheap cramped apartment in a bad neighborhood when I make enough to buy a house in a decent neighborhood. The hardest question...why drink away your days off. Why are you out of shape, probably because I drink. Why did I not finish school...even though Iwas only a semester away... I gave up and drinking helped enable me to give up. I feel like im all excuses when im drinking and talking seriously amongst friends and I focus on the past too much.

Dee74

Hi Sean

I found giving up smoking was no problem for me, giving up other drugs wasn't too difficult either - but drinking was another matter.

I think I used drinking for so many things - when I was sad, or happy, when I was celebrating or commiserating, when I was angry or joyful...

My whole life *revolved* around drinking - it was my Universal Solution for everything...so to give it up required a lot more than just not drinking, y'know?

What kind of support have you been using so far Sean?

D

IndaMiricale

Howdy Sean always nice to see another Ohioian..


I am right with Dee, drugs were much easier for me to quit. Then my best friend alcohol. I also was one that it involved everything I did , where I went, how I went, or not go.. ect..

And it is so much more than putting down the drink, its really learning so many things about yourself..

For me AA was the way, but there are other options.. Look into them see what intrests you..

MrsKing

I always asked myself the same questions - why did you give up X? Why did you not do X? Why have you wasted all your money? Why can't you enjoy the little things? Why can't you be happy? Why can't you look forward to activities? etc etc, and I never once came up with the totally obvious answer. I tried to change everything before I realised that the same answer was true for all of those questions... because I drank. When I decided to be sober, and to stay sober, my life changed so much and I became a happier person. It didn't happen overnight, but it didn't take very long, either. You need to give yourself a chance... stay sober for a good period of time and you'll feel so much better and be able to make choices that will go some way towards rectifying past mistakes and decisions. You'll never be able to change what you have done previously but you can decide who you want to be in this moment and the future. You can do all the things you want to do and live a life you want to live. Nothing is stopping you. Believe in yourself, you CAN be sober.

Natom

I hold onto things from the past sometimes. I didn't finish university, even though I could have. I've lost friends, partners, money, trust, everything. I've been in a hazy cloud for the last 9 or 10 years of my life. But I try to put that behind me and focus on getting well. I keep it in the day. I figure the years behind me are redundant but they taught me a lesson I couldn't have got sitting in a classroom.

hypochondriac

Why do you think you went back Sean? Sometimes I found trying to figure out the reasons why helped identify what I needed to work on first.

Once I had committed to never drinking again I found that I didn't need to make excuses anymore. People making me angry didn't bother me so much because I wasn't allowed to drink over it. So many things that bothered me, where my first instinct would be to drink over it, started to drift away because I realised that drinking wasn't going to fix anything. Drinking had become a convenient scapegoat for everything that was wrong in my life. It was the last hurdle in a way, the last excuse. Once I got rid of that I could start making positive changes to my life.

I'd recommend getting some support...AA, counselling, SMART... it isn't easy but it is so worth it x

Sapling

Sounds like you don't have the power to quit on your own and your life definitely sounds unmanageable....Have you ever checked out an AA meeting?...Just go and listen....See how those people are staying sober for many years. That's what I did. They got it going on!

jojenn

happens to the best of us

Mizzuno

Never underestimate the power of what you are able to do. If a house, new car, new TV are things that you desire in your life and drinking has stopped this process, then stop drinking. If you desire to finish off this last semester in school then do so. If I can stop drinking, you can.
Give it a go. What have you got to lose?

Anna

It's important to accept the choices you've made that have stopped you from moving forward in life. But, it's also important to know that you can change that. Stopping drinking and recovering can open your life to do in whatever way you choose.