hello, and I need help on recovering...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1
hello, and I need help on recovering...
Hi, I am 24 years of age and still in college and set out to graduate end of next year.
My drug of choice is Oxycotin.
I've started abusing perc 30's since when 1 1/2 years ago... and then abusing with Opana. It's gotten bad to the point where, I would take 40-60mg of opana per day to function. Oh and LOTS of my money.
I NEVER had any addiction problem... I smoked pot here and there and I was sober for about 3 years during my high school year to college... and BOOM! I started experimenting with new drugs. I develop my interest in pills, because I thought it was okay for me to take it.... since it's made by the pharmaceutical company. So, me and my cousin started abusing perc 30's and opana like there was no tomorrow... I would get hangovers and I would feel like crap in the morning. I use to be very muscular, hitting the gym 24/7, and very healthy as well.
As the days went by... I started losing friends... and stealing from other people... and I was brought up as a Asian family, therefore stealing is BIG crime in our tradition. But I've started realizing... wow I NEED to stop, and that was back late last year. So, I did my research and seek for help.
I found out that, Suboxone (off of street) can help you cope with the withdrawls and I was successful at becoming sober. But later, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and got prescribed to Adderall, which has been tremendously help to improve in my daily task and life. (I only take the when I need it and never abused it once). While, I started messing with Oxys again... and I've been draining my money on this drug and I felt like this time I need help.
So, here is how I kicked my habit before...
My sister became a pharmacist, therefore she needed to relocate home. So I've decided to go live with her for a month (so I can kick my habit for good). And during this time, my cousin left to korea (family reasons) and my girlfriend was in korea as well (due to family reasons)... so I was all alone in this hell... I read somewhere that weed can help to cope with opiate patients, so I've only used it when I would feel very depressed. And I've gotten through my opiate hell and I stopped smoking weed. I was sober, ALL BY MY SELF.
About 6 months later, I've decided to pick up couple for myself... and here I was again... samething over and over and over... now I cannot afford to spend on any drugs and I've managed to pick up few Suboxone and started taking it today... So it's been less than 24 hours.
I went through minor withdrawl today, feeling down, depressed, and sad. But I think daily doses of my adderall is helping with my depression. (sure as hell I will never abuse these) bottom line... I want and need to be sober. I need support and help to get me through all my negative emotions and all the thoughts of wanting to pick up more stuff. I even thought of relocating again... but I need to graduate to be out in the world. I need your help and I am reaching out for the first time in my life for help. I am a college student with being broke and going through hell...
My drug of choice is Oxycotin.
I've started abusing perc 30's since when 1 1/2 years ago... and then abusing with Opana. It's gotten bad to the point where, I would take 40-60mg of opana per day to function. Oh and LOTS of my money.
I NEVER had any addiction problem... I smoked pot here and there and I was sober for about 3 years during my high school year to college... and BOOM! I started experimenting with new drugs. I develop my interest in pills, because I thought it was okay for me to take it.... since it's made by the pharmaceutical company. So, me and my cousin started abusing perc 30's and opana like there was no tomorrow... I would get hangovers and I would feel like crap in the morning. I use to be very muscular, hitting the gym 24/7, and very healthy as well.
As the days went by... I started losing friends... and stealing from other people... and I was brought up as a Asian family, therefore stealing is BIG crime in our tradition. But I've started realizing... wow I NEED to stop, and that was back late last year. So, I did my research and seek for help.
I found out that, Suboxone (off of street) can help you cope with the withdrawls and I was successful at becoming sober. But later, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and got prescribed to Adderall, which has been tremendously help to improve in my daily task and life. (I only take the when I need it and never abused it once). While, I started messing with Oxys again... and I've been draining my money on this drug and I felt like this time I need help.
So, here is how I kicked my habit before...
My sister became a pharmacist, therefore she needed to relocate home. So I've decided to go live with her for a month (so I can kick my habit for good). And during this time, my cousin left to korea (family reasons) and my girlfriend was in korea as well (due to family reasons)... so I was all alone in this hell... I read somewhere that weed can help to cope with opiate patients, so I've only used it when I would feel very depressed. And I've gotten through my opiate hell and I stopped smoking weed. I was sober, ALL BY MY SELF.
About 6 months later, I've decided to pick up couple for myself... and here I was again... samething over and over and over... now I cannot afford to spend on any drugs and I've managed to pick up few Suboxone and started taking it today... So it's been less than 24 hours.
I went through minor withdrawl today, feeling down, depressed, and sad. But I think daily doses of my adderall is helping with my depression. (sure as hell I will never abuse these) bottom line... I want and need to be sober. I need support and help to get me through all my negative emotions and all the thoughts of wanting to pick up more stuff. I even thought of relocating again... but I need to graduate to be out in the world. I need your help and I am reaching out for the first time in my life for help. I am a college student with being broke and going through hell...
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Woostar,
It kinda sounds to me like you are in a bit of a hazy place at the moment. We aren't doctors, and we don't give out medical advice but I strongly suggest you see a doctor to see what options there are available to you for detoxing off the drugs. Have you ever contemplated going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting or perhaps another drug service in your local area?
Natom.
It kinda sounds to me like you are in a bit of a hazy place at the moment. We aren't doctors, and we don't give out medical advice but I strongly suggest you see a doctor to see what options there are available to you for detoxing off the drugs. Have you ever contemplated going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting or perhaps another drug service in your local area?
Natom.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi and welcome woostar 
I don't know much about oxys but my vote is to get some professional advice as well - I think that would be much better than trying trial and error and self medicating yourself.
D
I don't know much about oxys but my vote is to get some professional advice as well - I think that would be much better than trying trial and error and self medicating yourself.
D
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
You're in the right place for support Woostar. Substance addiction is substance addiction. Oxys, heroin, alcohol, whatever. We're all recovering addicts.
For me, after the wheel spun around a few times, it stopped on alcohol. I smoked weed every day for 25 years. Done every drug under the sun at least a few times. Ended becoming physically adicted to alcohol. Been through withdrawl a few times. It's no cake walk. I know, I've done that quite a few times. Managed to escape alive, so far, but ended up in a hospital several times due to withdrawl induced seizures which fortunately didn't kill me.
My advice, learned from painfull experience, is the sooner you get through this and stop, the better.
For me, after the wheel spun around a few times, it stopped on alcohol. I smoked weed every day for 25 years. Done every drug under the sun at least a few times. Ended becoming physically adicted to alcohol. Been through withdrawl a few times. It's no cake walk. I know, I've done that quite a few times. Managed to escape alive, so far, but ended up in a hospital several times due to withdrawl induced seizures which fortunately didn't kill me.
My advice, learned from painfull experience, is the sooner you get through this and stop, the better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Allis, Wisconsin
Posts: 5
I found this site looking for information and became interested. I did not think such a thing existed. I found some valuable information as well.
I have always been a drug addict in a sense, and opiates have always been the thing I did the most damage with. I started back up again some months ago and have been using daily, taking around 200 mg of oxymorphone along with whatever else I had. The withdrawls began 6 days ago. I used again and now I've reached a hell I never imagined could exist, including vomiting blood.
I have never been through any kind of formal treatment and even though I feel that no matter what I do I'll pick up again but I'm tired of this. A terrible, existensial exhaustion. I guess this is a step I'm taking to try to even imagine living a sober life.
I apologize if I'm posting this in the wrong spot or something. I guess I'm just looking for some sort of starting point. Not that I feel like I deserve anything anymore.
I have always been a drug addict in a sense, and opiates have always been the thing I did the most damage with. I started back up again some months ago and have been using daily, taking around 200 mg of oxymorphone along with whatever else I had. The withdrawls began 6 days ago. I used again and now I've reached a hell I never imagined could exist, including vomiting blood.
I have never been through any kind of formal treatment and even though I feel that no matter what I do I'll pick up again but I'm tired of this. A terrible, existensial exhaustion. I guess this is a step I'm taking to try to even imagine living a sober life.
I apologize if I'm posting this in the wrong spot or something. I guess I'm just looking for some sort of starting point. Not that I feel like I deserve anything anymore.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Welcome to you too crazysnakelady
vomiting blood is never a good thing - I really *really* recommend you see a Dr CSL - even the local ER would do - even if it's just to get checked out and make sure everythings ok?
D
vomiting blood is never a good thing - I really *really* recommend you see a Dr CSL - even the local ER would do - even if it's just to get checked out and make sure everythings ok?
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, Wooster -
I'm glad you reached out today. A lot of people have been where you are and we're here to offer support. You can do it!
Crazysnakelady - Hi and welcome - Don't worry about posting in the wrong place - we're just glad you're here. If you'd like to start a new thread/introduction of your own, look for the "New Thread" button (it's on the top left).
I agree with Dee about getting some medical help - you're worth it. We've all been there, where fear or embarrassment keeps us from talking to doctor, but they see things like this more often than we know, and there's no reason to suffer on our own if they can help us.
I'm glad you reached out today. A lot of people have been where you are and we're here to offer support. You can do it!
Crazysnakelady - Hi and welcome - Don't worry about posting in the wrong place - we're just glad you're here. If you'd like to start a new thread/introduction of your own, look for the "New Thread" button (it's on the top left).
I agree with Dee about getting some medical help - you're worth it. We've all been there, where fear or embarrassment keeps us from talking to doctor, but they see things like this more often than we know, and there's no reason to suffer on our own if they can help us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Allis, Wisconsin
Posts: 5
Sorry I have not responded I have been sleeping (or trying to) for quite some time. Went to urgent care and got a whole bunch of meds that help a ton. I hope this is the last time I detox but I'd never do it again without some sort of medical intervention. I feel so much better. I never realized how nice it is to even just feel the sunshine or eat a meal.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: West Allis, Wisconsin
Posts: 5
The first few weeks of sobriety feel so good. But then what? The last time i was clean, probably like 4 months ago or more, I only lasted a week. I want to increase that time, because I like to think I am happier when sober. Or at the very least not more miserable. I want to at least experience sobriety for long enough to know if I like it. I started taking vicodin at age 11. Then it went downhill from there. I don't even really know what aI sober life is like. Even trying it seems impossible but where there's a will there's a way. I try to help everyone I can in every way, but in this scenario, I don't kbow what there is to give except words of caution.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I found the support here was my 'what now' CSL...not only is there a community to be accountable to, but there's a lot of encouragement, ideas, advice and wisdom here as well.
take it a day at a time and you'll soon see the weeks and months rack up.
& don;t worry by posting here I think you're already helping others - it was such a relief to find this place, read some posts, and know that people understood....they'd been through what I went through
D
take it a day at a time and you'll soon see the weeks and months rack up.
& don;t worry by posting here I think you're already helping others - it was such a relief to find this place, read some posts, and know that people understood....they'd been through what I went through
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by crazysnakelady 
The first few weeks of sobriety feel so good. But then what? The last time i was clean, probably like 4 months ago or more, I only lasted a week. I want to increase that time, because I like to think I am happier when sober. Or at the very least not more miserable. I want to at least experience sobriety for long enough to know if I like it. I started taking vicodin at age 11. Then it went downhill from there. I don't even really know what aI sober life is like. Even trying it seems impossible but where there's a will there's a way. I try to help everyone I can in every way, but in this scenario, I don't kbow what there is to give except words of caution.
Milwaukee Area Web Page
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Santa Monica, CA
Posts: 168
hey woostar. im 24 too and I need to focus on my last two months of college, so I went sober 16 days ago (off booze, xanax, coke). The negative emotions suck, I was so stressed out that I was having panic attacks when I was trying to fall asleep. But now I feel great and im working out 4 days a week. Stick with it, itll be worth it. Withdrawl means change, and as ****** as it feels right now, change is good for you.
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