Ducky1

I really don't know where to begin...but I feel like I have no one to talk to. My father has been an alcoholic ever since I can remember. He did go to rehab and stayed sober for 5-6 months...but it all went down hill at the death of my brother, he just couldn't handle it anymore and he started drinking again. We all tried telling him that James wouldn't want this..but it was too late he was already drinking...Lately it has gotten sooo bad that I don't even leave my room when my dad and I are alone because I we will just get in a fight and I act like crazy I regret it and I just can't see my father the way he is when hes like this.

Its been now over a year since he started drinking again....While I was making dinner my father just came in the room asking me what I was doing etc..told him I was cooking...than about 40 mins later I went to wake him to get so he could eat his dinner...but he didn't even respond he just sat there and didn't even open his eyes... I called my mother in than called 911...I thought my father was going to die...hes very lucky he didn't die..My mom and I went up to the court and filed to make him get help...and right now hes getting help... I don;t know if its going to do any good because we are "forcing" it on him hes been drinking for 35 years I don't know if he could ever stop. I'm so scared that when my father gets out that he will just start drinking again.

I still live at home because I feel so badly for my mother who has to deal with him everyday..I feel if i leave and move out that I will be leaving my mom behind to deal with him everyday and I don't know if she could handle it all b herself.

I really hope my father gets help where he is and they treat him...I'm so worried my father will say something to them to get the staff to hate him so they don't treat him kindly..I'm scared that my father won't get the full attention he needs because he was 'court ordered" to be there... I'm scared that he will just come out and be mean and mad at the world and pick up booze and just drink in till he is dead.


I know my father has problems with dealing with my brothers death and his drinking will be hard to give up

I'm sorry for rambling but I feel I can't talk to anyone I feel that know one will understand and people will just judge my family.

Thanks for listening(reading)

Kialua

The Staff are used to court ordered people in treatment. My Dad was in locked up treatment at age 80 and he gave them a run for his money. But it did work for him. Can't say if it will work for your Dad or not. But it is worth a try, at least it will give you some relief while he is there. There is nothing your Dad can do that will get under the staff's skin, so don't worry about that. Hang in there. Do some reading here and look at my blog if you like.

Welcome

dollydo

"I still live at home because I feel so badly for my mother who has to deal with him everyday..I feel if i leave and move out that I will be leaving my mom behind to deal with him everyday and I don't know if she could handle it all b herself."

Your parents have made the choice to live together, if she doesn't want to leave, that is her choice.

You have put your life on hold, trying to fix them, you cannot fix them , it is all up to them.

Have you read Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie?

I am sorry that you are in the middle of all this insanity, however, you can change that.

Do what is best for you, life is not a dress rehersal, this is it, one chance, one time through.

Take some time to read all the stickeys at the top of this page and all the Family & Friends sections, also, cynical one's blogs which you can also get to at the top of this page. Knowledge
is power, learn all you can about codependeny/enabling and addiction.

Mracoa

Ducky, I hope you consider moving out and begining your life.

You can empathize with your mother, but you don't owe her anything. She will learn to 'handle' your Dad on her own. Either by getting help of her own, or by leaving him. She may choose not to, but they are grown ups and can choose not to choose. That's not your fault, so don't feel guilty about it.

Synfull Vyxun

I am going through exactly the same thing, but with my mother, and it was her brother that died. She has just fallen down the stairs last night, has a fractured skull and is staying in hospital tonight!!! I too, live with my mother as my stepfather was very nasty to her and I didn't want her to go through it on her own, as she has Fybromyalgia.
He has since left her as he was sick of the lying, cheating, affairs, denial and the amount of drinking combined with the pills was not pretty.
I am now trying to look after myself as I now realize that I cannot stop her drinking, I cannot even help her at the minute until she see's what she is doing, I am going to look into this court ordered help, as I am at my wits end and have run out of options other than to run away back to Australia, away from it all, but then I fear I will worry more as I cannot be there to see her and how she is, so will I then become just like her.
Just want you to know I understand, and if you ever need to have a moan I'm always here as I don't leave my bedroom if she is here, I am to scared of the guilt trips, conflict and saying things I regret. It is very hard and frustrating keeping your mouth shut, trust me, I know!!!

Roguey

You sound a lot like me. A mother and saint of a father who I worry about daily-though he can take care of himself just fine. I'm new to this site too and new to trying to figure out how to just take care of myself. Thanks for sharing and I'm here to listen