Titanic

Please list some of the "wishful thinking," wrongful or not, that you've had as a result of this addictive disease. The possibility of long-term recovery is excluded because it is achievable by some As and encouraging to their families and loved ones. Here we go:

kudzujean

That I'd had a daddy like the other kids, not one who died of cirrhosis when I was a little kid.

That my mother had married some other man, so maybe I'd have had a better father.

That WWII would have lasted longer, so my mother would've had to be an army nurse (she was in the Cadet Nurse Corps a federal program for the training of American nurses during WWII) and she would've married another man.

That I would die.

That I hadn't been born.

That there was such a thing as reincarnation so maybe I could come back and have a happier life next time.

ZiggyB

I wish that he would have stopped drinking because he loved me... ;-(

MamaKit

I wish that I had left sooner.
I wish that he would know that if he continues to drink his boys will hate him.
I wish he wouldn't have let it get to the point that he has NO FAMILY!
I wish I could take from my boys the pain and shame I know they feel.
sigh
MamaKit

itsmylifenow

I wished he'd been able to love me the way I needed to be loved.

I wished that all my common sense, love and codie ways would have been enough to open his eyes and fix this.

I wished that he could always be the good, loving person I saw every once in awhile instead of the mean, angry, lousy ******* that lived in him most of the time.

I wished that I would have walked away when all the red flags were flying around me.

And, now I wish him good luck in finding the happiness he seeks. And, I wish that for myself and everyone else who has been affected by their A's.

Katiekate

That I would die.

That I hadn't been born.

I wish you didn't feel that way.

My God, big hug to you. xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo

WishingWell

That doctors would find a miracle cure.

I think it's cruel that these suffering people are told the only hope out there is to "go a meeting". That's nothing. How about some real help?????

Chris1000101

I thought about commenting but I really don’t know what to say. I had those same feeling for years and even in the 12 step rooms I can have them. There are times when I can share something unique to my life experiences and the halfhearted or even half-a$$ed responses from others will bring it back.

inpieces314

It's a shame when you look at your kids and you can see them as alcoholics in the future.

It's like Parkinson's disease, when you wonder if your kids are gonna have it because it is hereditary. Sadly, there is no genetic test for alcoholism.

Leftover

I wish I was smarter about the limits i've set.

inpieces314

Ditto! Actually, I set really good boundaries, but my problem was, when he didn't follow through, I didn't put my foot down.

My fault, not his.

6901

I wish I had discovered SR and attended Al-Anon meetings much sooner than I did.

4MyBoys

I wish he would find a new yound girl and leave me and the boys alone.

I wish he would get a DUI.

I wish he would kiss my A$$!!! (Heehee, having a detach more with hate than love day.)

RollTide

I wish I had never married him.
I wish that I had gotten out sooner.
I wish I did not know that he got a DUI this afternoon.

Trilogy

That HE would die accidently, while we were together.
And now that we're separated, that he does well and doesn't cause my daughters pain, who are still invested in having a relationship with him.

redatlanta

I wish I could fix him
I wish he never picked up again
I wish I met him 20 years ago before he got sick and somehow he stopped drinking then
I wish he had a better childhood
I wish he didn't have such a dysfunctional family
I wish he wasn't bipolar
i wish he didn't have chronic pain
I wish he saw in himself what I see, I wish he felt and knew how much he changed my life in good ways.
I wish I could fast forward through this relapse
I wish to make him stop drinking they could just give him a shot or pill

I don't wish now that I never met him and I sure hope that I never feel that way.

inpieces314

I know it's hard for some of us, me included, to remember the good times, because there are so many bad times that are a lot easier to remember, a lot easier to be mad at, a lot easier to make us hate them.

But there were good times, once.

I wish I could remember more good times than bad.

allforcnm

When I found out he was using, I wish I hadn’t got so angry and took it personal

I wish I had used different methods to interact with him, and encourage him to seek help, instead of shutting him off, and asking him to move out until he was done using.

I wish I had told him that I was pregnant when I found out weeks after he left
I wish Id talked to him, given him the chance to be part of my pregnancy, the birth of our son, and his first three months of life.

I wish I could get back that time for us

I wish everyone knew that there are other ways besides meetings for life to overcome addiction

I wish people that don’t succeed at one method, would be encouraged to try another like AVRT, SMART, or private counseling

I wish rehab, counseling, and all the rest were not so expensive.

I wished, and now Im grateful that my husband and I have reunited, forgiven each other, and Im grateful that he is 6 months clean and enjoying being a first time dad.

I wish my sons first word would be daddy …. (Im trying to help him with this)

Ursula745

I wish he loved himself half as much as I love him.
I wish our parents hadn't passed away so soon, so then maybe he wouldn't hurt so much.
I wish he knew how much his whole family loved him.
I wish he'd find peace and joy within himself.

Learn2Live

All my childhood I wished I had a time machine so I could go back in time to when my dad was little and fix or prevent whatever it was that happened to my dad that made him become an alcoholic.