Arrest gave me a new bottom
In training for life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: baltimore, md
Posts: 3
Arrest gave me a new bottom
I have been trying to get sober since July 2011. It started with inpatient rehab for 60 days followed by 4 months in a half way house in South Florida. My sneaking drinks, thinking "no one would know", lead to me being kicked out of the half way house and lead me to get my own apartment when I wasn't ready. Started drinking and using instantly and surrendered finally in February this year. I changed people, places and things and moved into a recovery house in Maryland where I got a sponsor, homegroup, worked steps and found a great job. Nevertheless, my reservation to drink, thinking I was "normal", lead me back into addicition to anything to get me out of myself. This culminated with a blackout and spending 2 nights in jail 3 weeks ago. I am now 20 days clean and back in my recovery house. Boredom seems perpetual and while i don't have an obsession to drink, I obsess about feeling different. I am angry at times and resent myself. I goto meetings and talk to people in recovery everyday but I still remain depressed. Looking for some hope and wisdom...thank you
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
In sobriety I get to go to jail and prisons and leave whenever I want.. Its really a surreal feeling. 
I love going to listen and talk at them and the detox centers..
I love going to listen and talk at them and the detox centers..
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Welcome lg,
What if it never got any better? But you could live with hope? That beats augering in from drugs and alcohol. The good news is it does, but it takes time. Months and years to really feel better. We want instant relief, it won't happen so many go back. Problem is that the relief is the problem. Addiction is the only game where the only way to win is not to play.
As far as your boredom, I felt a bit of that too, still do and always will be bored every now and again. Sometimes I welcome it, and kick back with a good book. Movies have come a long way but for sheer special effects nothing beats the mind. Early in my recovery I wrote about why I realized we called it bored:
"Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it."
I got off my duff and started doing manual labor things I had put off. I got out to good places like meetings, gyms, parks and walking my pups.
If you want to see exciting do some extreme sports. But that won't happen without the action of do taking place will it?
You can, choose.
What if it never got any better? But you could live with hope? That beats augering in from drugs and alcohol. The good news is it does, but it takes time. Months and years to really feel better. We want instant relief, it won't happen so many go back. Problem is that the relief is the problem. Addiction is the only game where the only way to win is not to play.
As far as your boredom, I felt a bit of that too, still do and always will be bored every now and again. Sometimes I welcome it, and kick back with a good book. Movies have come a long way but for sheer special effects nothing beats the mind. Early in my recovery I wrote about why I realized we called it bored:
"Boredom is wanting to do something, anything, as long as you don’t have to actually do something to do it."
I got off my duff and started doing manual labor things I had put off. I got out to good places like meetings, gyms, parks and walking my pups.
If you want to see exciting do some extreme sports. But that won't happen without the action of do taking place will it?
You can, choose.
zapped
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: milwaukee, wi
Posts: 26
anthony bourdain said life was utterly boring and joyless for 12 months after coming off heroin, but he seems to be doing ok now. it took me about 3 months until i could watch tv and laugh again so hang in there, it comes back.
In training for life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: baltimore, md
Posts: 3
I worked the steps with a sponsor, yes. I worked a NA program with him and used to call him everyday. Since I got out 3 weeks ago, I've spoken with him just twice. I've been going to AA meetings and have been told by fellow alcoholics to find a sponsor in AA but I don't know the answer...
In training for life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: baltimore, md
Posts: 3
Thank you for all that have posted thus far. Today I am feeling a bit better. Went to lunch with a sober friend with time and he echoed a lot of your thoughts. Staying out of my head is important. Also, I need to humble myself and learn to ask for help MORE often.
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