quitforme79

I have so much resentment towards my parents. I have known this for awhile but today my addict brother (who is still out there) has been trying to reach out to them and they just tell him he is worthless and a waste of life. Both my parents are addicts too. See the pattern? (rhetorical of course). I am not only upset that my brother is threatening to kill himself again but at the fact that my parents have neglected all 3 of their children and can't handle anything in life. So this resentment came up hard core in me today and I felt auto pilot come on as I was driving home from work. It wanted so badly to go to the liquor store. Or the bar. I would've sat in my car and drank for all I cared. Where would that have gotten me? So I begrudgingly came home, called my sponser and she talked me into a meeting. I honestly was going to take 2 benadryl and cry my self to sleep in a white knuckled pity pot state. I still want to drink but instead I am heading to a meeting. Guess I have quite a bit of issues to work on huh? There are good days and bad days, today is the latter. Hoping I will get some relief at the meeting tonight. Thanks for listening.

SoTiredOfThis

Hey quitforme, hang in there. You are so strong for resisting the urges! Good luck and I hope the meeting goes well.

newstart261

That's the thing, remember there are good days and bad days, you are smart getting through this one and going to a meeting, as the saying goes "this too shall pass" but I know how you feel sometimes it seems it wont pass. Keep your chin up,

Natom

Stay strong brother.

Anna

It's hard dealing with the negative emotions that come along in early recovery, but it sounds like you have a good plan.

pipparina

You made the right choice. You can get better. You can't make your family better. Let us know how you feel after the meeting, if it helped.

RobC420

Good work calling your sponsor and going to a meeting. A lot of people forget that part and let autopilot take them to the bar.

quitforme79

Thanks everyone and it's sister natom lol In the past I would've listened to that chick inside of me on autopilot. I really am proud of myself for pushing thru it, thinking thru the drink and making it to a meeting. I do feel better after having gone. I am still sad and angry but the feelings aren't as sharp. I think that just by staying sober thru this situation made me an eensy bit stronger. (I hope) Thanks for all your support.

notsleeping

Thats so powerful. Im proud of you for doing the right thing!

Wolfram

Hang in there!!! You are strong.

MTM82

quitfor me, hang in there, man! Nothing but support and positive vibes headed your way!

You are really strong for going against the urge!!

Sapling

That's great...You did everything you were supposed to do...Most important...You didn't pick up. There are going to be good and bad days Quit...That's life on life's terms...We have to deal with it....But we don't drink no matter what. Have you and your sponsor talked about step one at all?

Dee74

I'm glad you made the healthy choice quit



D

Sobersunshine

Well done quitforme! So proud of you for being strong and getting to a meeting! Hope you feel better after the meeting!

quitforme79

Thanks sapling...and not really. We read the first few chapters of the big book together last week but step work begins this Sunday...I know what step 1 is and think I have already gotten past it LOL

IndaMiricale

Way to pick up the 40 pound phone..