Isolating or self soothing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Isolating or self soothing?
It's 3 weeks for me tomorrow 
I had an action packed weekend and did a lot of sober activities, some w people from AA. I feel good physically and I had fun. However, I am generally the type of person who likes to spend a lot of time alone (even before I was drinking alcoholically). I like to read, catch up on shows, go for drives, go to the bookstore etc. I feel like I was on social overload this weekend. Today, I am tired of talking with people from AA about recovery rights and wrongs, how to's, how not to's. I didn't go to a meeting last night because I went to see a movie with a friend and I don't want to go to one tonight although I have nothing to do. I feel like some of the people I hung out with this weekend only want to talk about what happened when they were using and it's just not helpful to me. Or preach how people should be working the program. I am pissed off that 2 normal friends of mine minimilized (sp?) my drinking problem this weekend. I am in the mind frame where I just don't want to be around or talk to anyone (except you guys I guess haha). I am starting to wonder if I am slowly beginning to isolate again. I am not going to drink. Have I thought about it? Yeh, I think about it at least once everyday but the cravings are a lot less. Or am I just retreating into my place of comfiness where I can settle my brain away from too many conflicting outside opinions. This **** is a lot of work. Just wish I could trust my own judgement. Until then...I am relying on you guys for some insight...
I had an action packed weekend and did a lot of sober activities, some w people from AA. I feel good physically and I had fun. However, I am generally the type of person who likes to spend a lot of time alone (even before I was drinking alcoholically). I like to read, catch up on shows, go for drives, go to the bookstore etc. I feel like I was on social overload this weekend. Today, I am tired of talking with people from AA about recovery rights and wrongs, how to's, how not to's. I didn't go to a meeting last night because I went to see a movie with a friend and I don't want to go to one tonight although I have nothing to do. I feel like some of the people I hung out with this weekend only want to talk about what happened when they were using and it's just not helpful to me. Or preach how people should be working the program. I am pissed off that 2 normal friends of mine minimilized (sp?) my drinking problem this weekend. I am in the mind frame where I just don't want to be around or talk to anyone (except you guys I guess haha). I am starting to wonder if I am slowly beginning to isolate again. I am not going to drink. Have I thought about it? Yeh, I think about it at least once everyday but the cravings are a lot less. Or am I just retreating into my place of comfiness where I can settle my brain away from too many conflicting outside opinions. This **** is a lot of work. Just wish I could trust my own judgement. Until then...I am relying on you guys for some insight...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Quit - I am the same way as you are. I tend to get sensory overload if I have to engage too much with others. It's just your personality type. Society likes to say people like you and I are weird. Not true at all. I work in a customer service environment. I'm not on the phones (I'm an executive assistant), but my cubicle is located in an area where people are taking phone calls all day. I can honestly say that when I go home at the end of the day I am SO HAPPY for the peace and quiet! I am content changing right into my comfy clothes, fixing dinner and having a quiet meal with my husband, followed by a movie or TV show.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
It's OK to take a day off....It's good for you. I just know this sick puppy couldn't take any chances....How long have you been sober Quit?....I was going to 3 meetings a day for my first month.....But this was my first attempt at AA and I have 15 months without a drink....I had to do what I had to do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
Thanks pippo rossi, I know exactly what you mean. I too work in a simial situation and love coming home to peace and quiet after work. I am only a few weeks sober sapling. I look at it this way- I won't drink today and that is the most important thing. If I felt I was going to, I would definitely go to a meeting
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
I think it's normal to want more alone time-it IS a lot of work, and it's mentally exhausting. The physical exhaustion from withdrawing doesn't help either. It's wise to do what's best for you at a given time, which will probably keep changing. If you do the meetings when you need to, and see friends that are supportive as you need to, and skip the rest when you need to unwind you'll be able to be in control of your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
I'm the same way QFM and PR, my natural inclination is to be a homebody. Sometimes we just need a break from everything. I think you're spot-on to double check your motives, it sounds like there are a few things you're mulling over. But that doesn't negate the fact that you might need a recharge. So long as you're not slipping into depression, resentfulness, avoidance, etc. Don't know about you, but I have to check myself for these old habits often.
Just continue to put your sobriety first and you will be A-OK
Just continue to put your sobriety first and you will be A-OK
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,463
Quit, I think you should always listen to your heart. I know exactly what you mean by social overload. I need time to decompress and I need time to be alone with myself. I work in a semi-chaotic environment and I like to have some quiet time at the end of the day. I understand not wanting to go out every day. I think balance is the key. For me, it's the crux of my recovery plan.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I have exactly the same issues you do. I need ME time but I need program time as well. Because I am not the best at making decisions about what is good for me this is how I handle it.
I have set up a very ridged meeting attendace schedule. I always go. Not excuses ever but my schedule also has ME time built into it and time for my wife. By having this set in stone AA schedule I can not rationalize my way into not going. By doing this I know I am getting enough AA to keep me sober and I do not have to argue with myself about whether I should or should not go to a meeting. If for what ever reasons I absolutely have to miss a meeting I try to pick one up on one of my ME days
It works for me
I have set up a very ridged meeting attendace schedule. I always go. Not excuses ever but my schedule also has ME time built into it and time for my wife. By having this set in stone AA schedule I can not rationalize my way into not going. By doing this I know I am getting enough AA to keep me sober and I do not have to argue with myself about whether I should or should not go to a meeting. If for what ever reasons I absolutely have to miss a meeting I try to pick one up on one of my ME days
It works for me
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
I entered recovery when I was about 30 yrs.
old with 2 little ones and married about 8yrs.
I spent 28 days in rehab with a 6 week outpatiant
after progrtam attached and went to many many
meetings at noon time so that I could carry on
the mom and wife duties at home.
I often felt like I was the only one who was married
with kids amongst many single people in recovery at
that time in my life. People would get together, hang out,
attend those New Yr. Eve Alcathons while I went to
my meeting and returned home.
As time went on, i did realize other people have their
own agendas in life along with a program of recovery
to help them stay on the path and not drink or use.
In my 22 yrs sobriety, i help raise my 2 kids to where
they are married and working living their own lives, my
25 yr marriage ended peacefully and im remarried almost
4 yrs now. Today, i continue living a happy, content, honest
life with my spouse enjoying days by ourselves and our
pets. We enjoy sitting in our backyard watching birds and
taking trips and rides on our Harley Road King.
I spend time here in SR sharing my own ESH with others
still struggling with addiction, passing on the knowledge
of recovery, giving back what was so freely passed on to
me through out the past 22 yrs of my own recovery.
I live my life accordingly and with purpose and i dont
need to be the center of attention or need to be surrounded
by many others talking about recovery day in and day
out.
A recovery life is meant to be enjoyed and practiced
in our everyday actions thru kindness, gentleness,
understanding, sharing, listening, loving, accepting,
trusting, and so on.
old with 2 little ones and married about 8yrs.
I spent 28 days in rehab with a 6 week outpatiant
after progrtam attached and went to many many
meetings at noon time so that I could carry on
the mom and wife duties at home.
I often felt like I was the only one who was married
with kids amongst many single people in recovery at
that time in my life. People would get together, hang out,
attend those New Yr. Eve Alcathons while I went to
my meeting and returned home.
As time went on, i did realize other people have their
own agendas in life along with a program of recovery
to help them stay on the path and not drink or use.
In my 22 yrs sobriety, i help raise my 2 kids to where
they are married and working living their own lives, my
25 yr marriage ended peacefully and im remarried almost
4 yrs now. Today, i continue living a happy, content, honest
life with my spouse enjoying days by ourselves and our
pets. We enjoy sitting in our backyard watching birds and
taking trips and rides on our Harley Road King.
I spend time here in SR sharing my own ESH with others
still struggling with addiction, passing on the knowledge
of recovery, giving back what was so freely passed on to
me through out the past 22 yrs of my own recovery.
I live my life accordingly and with purpose and i dont
need to be the center of attention or need to be surrounded
by many others talking about recovery day in and day
out.
A recovery life is meant to be enjoyed and practiced
in our everyday actions thru kindness, gentleness,
understanding, sharing, listening, loving, accepting,
trusting, and so on.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
