Mulch

First of all, hi. I am new here. Female. Mom. Almost divorced (he left out of the blue after a long marriage.) I'm in my 40s. Scared. Don't really know what to say. But hello.

I received a DUI charge the other day. I've never been stopped for anything before. This was so scary. Humiliating. (Rightly so.). I feel so ashamed.

Just looking for stories of anyone who's been through it .. and came out the other side to live a normal, better life.

Thanks so much. Nice to meet you.

suki44883

Welcome to SR, Mulch. Lots of support here, and yes, many of us have gotten DUIs. I got one about 7-8 years ago. You'll get through it. It will cost you a lot of money and you'll probably be on probation for several months, but you'll survive. Just make sure you learn from it and don't let the horror of what happened evaporate.

Glad you found us! I'm sure others will be along soon.

Sobersunshine

For the grace of God, I've never gotten a DUI. Many others on here have, and hopefully they can help you. Maybe this is a reason for you to stop drinking? I highly recommend AA. SR is a grat place too. Best of luck to you.

justhadenough

welcome to SR.
Yes,when I was 20.Stupidly I didn't see it that I had a problem and did not use it as a turning point to stop drinking and change my life. Nearly 20 years later have I decided to stop. Even now I don't tell anyone as the shame/stigma is very bad(in the UK) I know the laws are different in the US-I don't mean its not serious-but the offences vary I think

What's done is done.Be thankful no one else was involved,pay the price,do what has to be done and use it as a point to get sober. I wish I had done. You will get through it.

There are also many many many people who haven't got a DUI,from sheer good luck rather than judgment.(edit-that's not directed at you in anyway sober sunshine!!)

There is a great deal of support here-hope you stick around

Mulch

Thank you for all the replies. I didn't know what to expect as replies. Your encouragement and stories are helpful, especially to know I'm not alone.

I promised God, myself, family, and friends that this will be my turn-around point - they all have been surprisingly supportive. (Should be a further nightmare when my not-quite-Ex finds out - ugh.)

I "blew" very high, so I expect the consequences to be high as well. I don't mind that - I deserve whatever I get, and the humiliation that goes with it... (I am terrified of jail time and pray that won't happen) .. I don't know how this all works. My court date is in December.

I start AA tomorrow and have already spoken to a kind lady who offered to take me ... and then need to get in touch with my Dr. and a therapist of some sort because I know/knew I am/was depressed and I need to find a better way to cope.

Thank you again, SR. I am glad I came here today.

Mulch

P.s... sorry to be so long-winded.

justhadenough

you are not being. that's what we are here for.there is a 'class of october' whichyou mightl ike to join. it'sfor people getting sober in october. everyone's at the same stage-many find it very helpful

suki44883

It depends on what state you live in, but there usually isn't jail time involved in your first DUI. Of course, if you violate your probation, you are subject to jail time.

Do you have an attorney or are you going with a public defender? I got my own attorney and glad I did after seeing how many people the public defender had to represent. My attorney only had me, so he didn't get my case mixed up with one of three or four others. I too, blew high, but he was able to talk the judge out of making me have the breathalyzer in my car. I still lost my license for six months and had to get an occupational license and an SR-22. I was on probation for a year, has 24 hours community service, had to attend some classes and a victim's impact program. Court fees along with my monthly payment at the probation office, along with my attorney's fees put it at around $8,000 after all was said and done.

Maylie

Mulch, what is important is that you use this experience as a wake up call. As others have said, there will be fines to pay and some states make you take some sort of classes. If this is your first offense it is very unlikely that you will go to jail (I haven't ever heard someone say they went to jail on a first offense).

I'm happy that you found someone to go to AA with. It always helps to have someone to go with the first time, plus she will make sure that last minute you don't change your mind

Anna

I'm sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you have support. It's good that you're working on your recovery. And, talking to your dr to deal with your depression is a great idea.

I also would strongly suggest, if it's affordable, to get a lawyer of your own. From the stories I've read here, it could make a big difference.

ElanorMae

I'm 24 years old and just got released from jail a month ago for my 3rd DUI. So yeah, you could say I know a thing or two about it.

The first DUI is not difficult to get past. Jail time is so incredibly rare. All you get is a fine and a 3 month license suspension and most likely 1 year probation (which is a piece of cake) It may seem like a lot, but once you lose your license for 3 years, 3 months seems like the blink of an eye.

Mulch

Thank you again, everyone. Thank you!

Birdie03

Welcome Mulch. You're in a good place. I have never received a DUI, but I should have on many occasions! Sometimes I almost wish I would have because it might have been the thing to scare some sense into me. I would just say, learn from the past and remember all the bad, humiliating feelings you've had. Hopefully that's what will keep you from making the same mistakes. Also, forgive youself, you'll do better

FreeFall

Welcome Mulch. I haven't had a dui but it was just dumb luck that it didn't happen. Where I live they are constantly out and after anyone that's out after 10:00 (or earlier). Many of my friends have gone through the process and it's not cheap or easy, but they all got through it and are more responsible now. The decisions we make when our addictive voice is running the show are often horrible ones, ones we wouldn't even consider sober. You will get through this, and I'm glad you have some help and support.

RobC420

When I was 19, I was driving after having drank 2 beers and got pulled over. I got a breathylizer and I was at .035. The legal limit was .08, so I was under the limit. I was charged with "possible consumption of alcohol by a minor while operating heavy machinery". With a lawyer (thanks dad) I accepted a plea bargain and got a 2 year restricted liscence. I was able to drive to work, school, and medical appointments.

The funny thing was that I then turned 21 and I could drink (to .08) and drive legally as long as I was driving to work, school, or medical appointments. Basically I could do the very thing I was being punished for doing. It was goofy. I'm pretty sure it was just an attempt to 'teach me a lesson'. A lesson I failed to heed.

I was in college at the time so I drove as much as I did before the restriction, but I kept my backpack in my car so I could say I was going to class. And honestly, being an alcoholic, I was drunk, stoned, or both pretty much every time I drove for those two years. The whole time I was a victim. It wasn't my fault. I blamed the laws, the cops, the lawyer, MADD, etc for my predicament.

8 years later I got sober and have begun to live a 'normal' fuller life. I've also looked at my part and seen where I was at fault (everything about it was my fault).

RobC420

It's common in my area for people in your situation to keep record of each meeting they attend and ask for the chairperson of each meeting to sign their record. Then they take the AA attendance record to their court date and show the judge in order to try and get a reduced sentence. I have absolutely no clue if it works, but I've seen a number of people try so it may be something for you to consider.

soap

i just got my 1st this month after 22 years of drinking and driving. kind of in the same boat in terms of not knowing what to expect. on the bright side, i have ditched the car and bought a bike trailer to haul stuff behind my bike. the exercise is making me feel better.

choublak

I haven't, but an uncle of mine was, at one point, a "serial" drunk driver, if you will. I'm not sure how else to word it. Basically, he got his first DUI, but then drank and drove drunk on a suspended license and got pulled over, continued driving drunk with no license and getting caught (because the police knew him and were always "looking" for him), he got himself into a mess of at least three DUI's, several probation violations, several years in jail with work release; he finally managed to find recovery and has been sober for quite some time now. As bad as you might feel now, things could get a whole lot worse. But they can also get better. That's up to you. This one DUI you have, you can turn things around right now, with the right choices. And you can't let how upset you feel, keep you from making the right choices. That is what happened with my uncle. His own choices would make him upset, with himself, so he would drink. And he became trapped in a cycle which he couldn't get out of for several years. You don't want to get trapped in that cycle.

PippoRossi

No, Mulch. However, I've driven with hangovers that probably could have counted as driving while under the influence.

IndaMiricale

I have had 4 dui charges and 2 reckless ops. One dropped completely due to a long story. But three on my record. Never was sent to AA. I member in AA though now for over a year. And love it.

Depends on your state what it what like it was said. But in general everyone gave the basics. Most is a 6 month suspension, 3 days jail which will be suspened with going to a dui weekend class, probation. And money money money.. Your probably all said an done wil be about 3 thousand with a lawyer. To give you a clue how bad it can be. My last one cost me just under 35k. Its a progressive diease that makes everything progressively worse not just drinking..

Best thing for you is that you are learning from it. See this alcoholic didnt care for decades. Take a sheet of paper with you to meetings and give it to the seceratry to be signed. For court. You going to be just fine.. Take it seriously and learn from it..