YoungAndClean

I had an old timer with 10+ years of sobriety tell me that for people under the age of 35 their chances of obtaining longterm sobriety is 1/10th of 1%. And he wasn't kidding, his reasoning seemed to be they haven't 'lost enough stuff' and hit a 'genuine rock bottom.' Anyone wanna take a swing at this?

nobshere

Curious where did you hear this?

Natom

I can kinda understand where the guy is coming from but it is possible for young people to recover and it is also possible to suffer enough consequences by a young age. I have been made homeless, been to rehab, been declared bankrupt, lost the trust of my family and lost my fiancee. And I am only 22.

justhadenough

It's probably just his opinion. Sure there are no stats to back it up

It's a depressing and negative comment he made,which may make a vulnerable newcomer lose hope and give up or not even bother

If you are young,don't let it put you off getting sober

ru12

Ummm . . . well everyone is entitled to their opinion. I wouldn't give his much much weight. Like others have said, your bottom is where you stopped digging. You don't need to lose everything in life to make the decision to stop getting drunk. You just have to stop drinking alcohol.

Lyingdog

I do understand what he is saying. I am 33 and I have "taken my last drink" many times only to do it all over again. This time has the be the end for me. I have the best wife in the world and my children (6 year old Girl and 3 year old boy) are so perfect to me.
As of today.... I am not sure if my wife will stay with me or not. That is my rock bottom! If I do not make a commitment to sobriety the next rock bottom will be worse. Do I get another chance and remember the pain or do I fall into the same ole trap again ...."an I really an alcoholic?" I hope and pray that I remember the pain drinking has caused me and others and start a new path in life.
Another thing hat may hurt young people is the fact that we "think" we are to busy to make as many meetings as we should.
A 59 year old man that has hit a rock bottom of MULTIPLE DUIs maybe killed someone in a car wreck, lost his/ her family, etc would give anything to have quit before the age of 35 and avoid all of that. Let's. It ever foreget that our destiny as an alcoholic is as previously stated. Let's be smart.......

DrunkTx

Although by the definition of the original post, my success in stopping is for all the implied reasons. Lots to lose, family, money, mind, job, etc. the truth is that for the younger folk smart enough to get here, they stand the best chances of life success not just sobriety. If you are young and astute enough to recognize the problem, then by my calculus you have the wherewithall to do anything you deem valuable in life and succeed at it. So, while the original post might disallusion the youth who have not made itnto SR, I would guess it has done nothing to deter those who are here. At worst, I bet the younger folks are pitying us.

Weasel1966

Opinions are like a$$holes.... everyone's got one.

Anna

My advice is to pay no attention and carry on working on your recovery. You have the power to make it work for you.

Maylie

I'm shocked that an old timer would tell you such a discouraging thing. I have never run into someone with a long amount of sobriety that didn't give me encouragement and tell me how proud they were that I was young and able to recognize that I have a problem early on before I lost everything.

For me, I didn't need to lose everything in order to get clean. Instead, the nearing possibility that I would get arrested, overdose, fail out of law school, lose my apartment, car, family support, etc. made me realize I had a problem. Perhaps I am just lucky that the fear of losing everything was enough to wake me up, but neverless, I don't think it is right that he basically discouraged you from getting sober.

Keep moving forward and working whatever recovery program works for you,

hugs

Maylie

ErraticEuphoria

I'm not "Young" anymore but at 29 I have lost so much. Just this year alone I lost my marriage, my daughter the house lol and the dog. To say at a young age we aren't losing "enough", look at all the things we may have achieved if we weren't addicted. The jobs that we didn't get, the books we may not have written, and not to mention the lives that were lost in that process. Just because our addiction doesn't stretch 30 years doesn't mean we can't destroy absolutely everything in our lives. in a lot shorter time. Don't listen to him, you'll be alright .. Keep working whatever program that works for you, stay occupied and positive..

AnotherPaul

That's a pretty discouraging comment, but there's another way to look at it. If everyone who did succeed tried an average of 19 times before they finally did successfully quit, then they succeeded at a 5% rate. Maybe that's part of what he meant?

BlueEyedBoy

I don't profess to be an expert, or have much to add really, but I don't thing age has an influence. I think when you're done, you're done- and when you have had enough pain. Some people do that at 22 or 62. There are no rules. Just my opinion though!

Keep doing what you are doing if it works for you!

Mark75

I think there are old timers who purposely p1ss newcomers off with the intention of getting them of the mindset "I'll show that miserable old b@stard, he's wrong about me!!"

So show that miserable old bast@rd that you can do it! Prove the statistics wrong!! You can ... Do it!!

Huey

Sounds about right to me.

Admiral

Well, looks like I have another ten years to go before I get it right. Coming from a veteran with ten years of sobriety how can I deny the facts? Might as well just give up and head down to the liquor store...

That's exactly where that kind of talk leads, and its very unfortunate because there are a lot of people who have fear, uncertainty and doubt. I'm going to burn a hole through that statement right now, because it's offensive and doesn't really help anyone.

Age is not a measurement of wisdom or maturity, and you don't learn life lessons as you get older, you learn them when they show up on your doorstep, and that can be any time. There are people who have never had anything go seriously wrong for them, and there are people who were dropped on their heads from day one. There are kids peddling drugs out there on the streets because they have no choice, go ahead and tell them that they haven't hit rock bottom because they aren't old enough.

That brings up another point, what is rock bottom? Is it the alcoholic who lost his family and job to drinking, or the starving person in a third world country who lives in cardboard box and drinks diseased water? No matter what there's always going to be someone out there who is much worse off than you are. So making comments like "you're not old enough to know what rock bottom is" is just ridiculous, as if you'll suddenly inherit some grand suffering as you age... please.

Also, some people don't start drinking until later in life, and some start when they're ten... So for those who started after they were 35, does that mean they can suddenly get sober because they have the wisdom of an older person? As I already said, you're not automatically going to inherit some greater understanding just because you're over 35.

Alright, I'm done rambling, but as a finishing statement this is a more accurate outlook;

It is more difficult for people to succeed early on in sobriety, because they haven't yet discovered what addiction is really about, and how to manage it.

onlythetruth

All I can say is DAYUM!!! I am an "oldtimer" myself with 10+ years of sobriety: does that mean everything that comes out of MY mouth is true too???

All fun aside, this so-called statistic isn't a statistic at all: it's is nothing more than something this guy has, for some reason, decided to say to younger people. It has factual basis. So, ignore him. He's basically making s**t up.

soberbythesea

Sounds to me like he made this up.

And the idea that someone under 35 can't lose enough to be motivated to get sober is total bull. My husband has told me point blank that basically if I go back to drinking again, our marriage is over. And with the way I was, I don't blame him.

I don't care what this "old timer" says, that's enough motivation for me. I have 30 days today. He can come talk to me when I have 30 years.

FreeFall

I think your chances are as good as anyone else's to remain sober and clean. Your chances of having a great life will go up substantially if you stick to your current program-focus on that. The last thing any of us needs is negativity, it's hard enough already. I hate statistics anyway, always root for the underdogs, the people that challenge the figures, etc.

Db1105

I got sober when I was 17. True, I didn't have many material possessions to lose. I did have a job, school, which I lost, I also had my life, which I almost lost a few times. I did lose my freedom a few times being sent to juvie jail, and the trips to the nut house. So, in reality, your oldtimer is wrong. I nearly lost everything.

So did several of the others in their teens who came in before or shortly after me. His statistics are off base too. Not having a drink for ten years doesn't make someone right. Fortunately, I found the young people nay Sayers few and far I between.

I know what saved me was AA. I had a good sponsor who was a great help when misinformation had me questioning getting sober. I'm well into my third decade sober and grateful I got sober in my teens, otherwise there would of been no chance for me to get sober in my 30's.