Confetti

He showed up finally around his parents house today. He was supposed to be there at 9 am to see his children, but didn't show up until 1:30. Luckily I called ahead to see if he was there. I asked why he was so late when he had made a big production about wanting them early so he could spend as much time with them as possible. He claimed that he had to stop in the city to pick them up some gifts.
"oh, where are all these gifts?" I inquired.
"well, the store wasn't open."
"what store? What kids store isn't open on a Saturday?".
"well, that's none of your business."

Ugh.

Anyways, since he was so late, I had to have him served today, because I'm pretty sure that he is planning on skipping town by tomorrow. I watched as he was served. Not a freaking ounce of emotion. He took the envelope and tossed it in the back of the truck. After 13 years!? That's all I got .... A look of 'I could give a rats behind.'.

I'm waffling between being horribly sad and relieved that I can move forward.

Just wanted to vent.

owathu

Ugh, I am getting ready to do this as well. I guarantee you my AH will throw them in the back of his truck as well. I feel for you right now. We want to see something, but all we get is the non-emotive drunkard. If I were drunk 24-7, you bet I wouldn't give a crap about my impending divorce as well.

You're moving on, and out, and upward. Making strides to heal yourself and your life. Of course you are going to be sad, you're HUMAN. Enjoy the fact that you actually HAVE emotions and can feel them. He can't. What kind of life is that??? Not one I would want to live. It seems ideal, but think about it. If you can't feel profound sadness, neither can you feel profound joy. Not feeling true joy, would suck ass. I've felt pure joy before and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

You are doing good.

Titanic

Confetti time! You made your decision and stuck by it. It was tough even to the very end (well, I guess not the final end yet).

Congratulations. I wish you all the best.

dandylion

Dear Confetti, I have never listened to a person describe the "end" of a marriage/relationship where they had invested a lot of themselves that didn't mention a sadness---even when they did the "leaving".

Those that are relieved at first---still mention a sadness later on. It is like the stages of grief that are felt to one degree or another. It might help if you actually expect a range of emotions----feel them when they come, and realize that they will pass, in their due time.

Most major life changes or events have some tears associated with the joy. I can remember walking down the hall in high school the day before graduation and being startled that I suddenly burst into tears. Seeing me crying, my best girlfriend started crying, also. Needless to say, 1/2 hour later, we had forgotten about it. Just a mild example!

This too shall pass. You have much that is good to look forward to!

dandylion

Titanic

Great stuff dandylion, as usual!

Tuffgirl

Confetti - hoping you have a good day today. Hang in there, the light is at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it seems the tunnel is so dang long! I can now attest to it not being as long a tunnel as it felt when I first stepped into it.

I still have emotions about it all, but time really does work wonders. Going completely no contact helps immensely with that, too.

Stay strong!
~T

Titanic

When one door closes another one will open. It's the hallways that are a b!7(h!