is it ok to be angry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: gold coast
Posts: 101
is it ok to be angry
i feel selfish as i am so angry with ah.
even though he in detox i still feel mad
with his attitde to drinking. sic of it
always revolving around him and
drinking. this yr i have had to care for
my brother who is full cares till we
could get him into a nice home, my mum
went to a nusing home suddenly then died
in march with me by my side. my best
frend died of cancer and i have been
helping his wife and my dad to cope with
the loss. i work part time as a rn and
my youngest child just turned four. on
top of thisi have the man i loved for
23yrs become an abusive drunk and
depressed doing nothing the rest of the
time. on i plod with a smile on my face
but for how long. i havent the time or
the reserves to grieve for my mum yet
but he will grieve cause i banned alchol
in this house forever.just venting sorry
even though he in detox i still feel mad
with his attitde to drinking. sic of it
always revolving around him and
drinking. this yr i have had to care for
my brother who is full cares till we
could get him into a nice home, my mum
went to a nusing home suddenly then died
in march with me by my side. my best
frend died of cancer and i have been
helping his wife and my dad to cope with
the loss. i work part time as a rn and
my youngest child just turned four. on
top of thisi have the man i loved for
23yrs become an abusive drunk and
depressed doing nothing the rest of the
time. on i plod with a smile on my face
but for how long. i havent the time or
the reserves to grieve for my mum yet
but he will grieve cause i banned alchol
in this house forever.just venting sorry
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 183
Anger is totally normal and totally ok, for a while. Feel it, rant, rave, process it, and then try to move on to acceptance because if you don't it will eat you alive.
You have been through so much, and I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to take time for yourself, but I think that even an hour a week alone to process will help you tremendously. If you could find a good support group (Al-Anon, or one for grief) that would be great too.
You have been through so much, and I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to take time for yourself, but I think that even an hour a week alone to process will help you tremendously. If you could find a good support group (Al-Anon, or one for grief) that would be great too.
It's perfectly acceptable to be angry. Just make sure you are allowing your anger to motivate you into some kind of awareness and action, and not something you carry around like a 500lb gorilla on your back.
I don't know if this helps you at all - (it helped me to think of it this way)
a feeling is just an emotion, feeling angry is normal, and helpful in many ways (we'd be abnormal if we never felt angry - ever)
but your question was slightly different - is it OK to BE angry.
a) of course it's Ok, but
b) I don't really like being defined by my feelings - a feeling doesn't have to turn into action and I don't have to BE whatever I am feeling.
I find it exhausting and not particularly helpful to walk around "being" angry, but feeling angry - that's working through an emotion, it's temporary, doesn't define me and helpful.
I found I was much more able to process anger in a useful manner (i.e. not stuff it down/turn it inwards) once I thought of it like this.
a feeling is just an emotion, feeling angry is normal, and helpful in many ways (we'd be abnormal if we never felt angry - ever)
but your question was slightly different - is it OK to BE angry.
a) of course it's Ok, but
b) I don't really like being defined by my feelings - a feeling doesn't have to turn into action and I don't have to BE whatever I am feeling.
I find it exhausting and not particularly helpful to walk around "being" angry, but feeling angry - that's working through an emotion, it's temporary, doesn't define me and helpful.
I found I was much more able to process anger in a useful manner (i.e. not stuff it down/turn it inwards) once I thought of it like this.
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