BlueEyedBoy

Hi there,

I have been in recovery since January, with varying degrees of success. I have had several relapses, each one cumulatively worse than the next. However, I have gotten straight back on the programme, but the hangovers/withdrawals are worse than any I ever experienced in active drinking. I recognise this is probably due to my tolerance in the past/amount of sheer alcohol I consumed.

However, my last drink was yesterday. I had about 5 glasses of wine- which for me is mild (I could easily drink 3 or 4 bottles before passing out). This is probably my most tame relapse. Today though my body feels just as bad as it does when I drink a litre of vodka and two bottles of wine (which was my usual sitting). Aches, sweats, shakes, sickness.

Do you think my body can no longer process ANY alcohol, as it seems that no matter what I drink, the physiological response is the same. I have no intention to test this theory- I have tried every trick in the book for moderating, and failed in everything- but I am just curious if anyone can relate?

My poor body deserves better treatment than this....hopefully this will never happen again, one day at a time.

doggonecarl

It's called the Kindling Effect.

I'm not sure how many relapses I have left in me. So I'm treating my last one as my last one.

BlueEyedBoy

Just read about the Kindling Effect. That is terrifying!

I know I have relapses left in me, but I worry if I have many more chances at recovery. That is why I am just keeping it in the day.

You can do it Doggonecarl

turt

I'm not a doctor but I have read about the change that occurs with liver enzymes as we age and also consume. The enzymes responsible for processing alcohol become less readily available as we age and use, which makes the physical effects of detox so much more pronounced. I remember being in my twenties and drinking a case of beer in one drinking session to wake up feeling just fine. However, the last time I drank I had horrible hangover/withdrawal from just 4 beers the next morning. Each time I've stopped anything it seems withdrawals were worse than the last time I stopped that substance. It's just one more reason to stay clean.

doggonecarl

That's what I meant. That I was running out of chances to recover. And I am doing it, so far. Blessed to be two years sober.

Good luck, to you.

YVRguy

There could be a number of reasons for this blue . I'd see your doctor.

I too have seen the end of binge nightmare sickness get worse each time in the last 5 years. I have read about kindling which is supposed to be due to repeated untreated withdrawals but I have no clue if this is what is going on with me or not. My liver tests both via blood and ultrasound look fine but there could be other problems going on that a drink won't help.

Whatever the reason , I have had enough and not sure if I can come back from another binge and ugly withdrawal. So for today I can avoid that by not drinking using my plan/programs. I kicked my body , mind and soul to the curb enough so time to treat them gently and properly.

BlueEyedBoy

I have a heart condition which is made worse by alcohol, so I wonder if when I have stretches of being sober my heart feels settled, and then when I drink it is like a flash of lightning to my body. I will mention it to my doctor.

I am off to AA in a little while- that is much better than going out for a drink.

Natom

Everyone has that last final use up still left in them regardless of how long they have been clean and sober. That last use up may very well be your last day on earth. It's a choice we have to make on a daily basis.

desertsong

I know that for me, every relapse and every detox was worse than the one before it. The last time I relapsed, I ended up in the ICU with a BAC of .51 and I'm lucky to be alive.

After all that, I have come to the conclusion that to drink is death. I'm sure I have another drunk in me, but I know for a fact that I don't have another recovery in me. If I drink again, I will die. Simple as that.

Please don't wait for it to get that bad. You have a choice today to stop and avoid further misery. I hope you will reach for it. It is so much better living sober.