trying to be happy for myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: san diego california
Posts: 36
trying to be happy for myself
So today i got hired at a full time job that im so excited about its at a resort hotel and im so happy . My boyfriend is at home detoxing from meth andheroin this is day 3. He has been sleeping alot off again on again andim sohappy and proud of him for wantigthis for himself I just thought he would be more excited when i woke him up to tell him, excet i got why did you wake me up i just want t sleep. Kindof bummed me out for secon but IRealized he is doing what he needs for himand im doing the same for me ad as soonas he feels better im sure he will be excited just firs reaction kindof bummed me out . So I guess im just venting and tring to be happy for myself , just wouldlove him to be happy for me in the moment and celebrate , but instant gradification is selfish .... sometimes i just want it to be aout me with him but in the long run i know its aout him being sober then he willmrejoice with me....
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I am happy for you as far as the job goes, now when are you going to move forward for your child. Unless he is in a recovery program him not using means nothing. If he is addicted to both heroin and meth he is in deep doo doo.
He will never rejoice with you, he is not capable of doing so.
IMO it is time to get your life together, take off those rose colored glasses and face the reality of the situation. He is hard core user and not in recovery.
He will never rejoice with you, he is not capable of doing so.
IMO it is time to get your life together, take off those rose colored glasses and face the reality of the situation. He is hard core user and not in recovery.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sarah, I am delighted that you got a new job! This gives you a chance to be financially independent and will help you take care of yourself without depending on anyone else.
It's too bad he has missed sharing your joy, but that doesn't mean we can't share it with you!!!
Well done, Sarah. Just keep moving forward.
Hugs
It's too bad he has missed sharing your joy, but that doesn't mean we can't share it with you!!!
Well done, Sarah. Just keep moving forward.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Hi PrincessSarah,
Congratulations on the new job. That is wonderful news !!
I can relate to the disappointment you felt when your boyfriend wasn’t able to share in your feelings of joy. When my husband was in rehab, the first time I went to visit him, I took our 3 month old son. I went alone and we had to fly, so I had to balance my son, my luggage, all his stuff. We had a good weekend, but when I got home I was so tired. Even though I knew my husband had only been clean for a couple of weeks and wasn’t stable; I felt some disappointment in that he didn’t realize how much of an effort it was for me to make the trip. But weeks later when he was feeling better, he talked to me about how much those visits meant; and he acknowledged that it must have been difficult , and even scary for me to travel alone with our son.
So, AH-HA he was able to feel emotion for others, and he was able to express it.
Your boyfriend will be able to do the same thing, once he gets through the detox and is feeling better.
Normally, I wouldn’t say something with such assurance, but if others can express their certainty that your boyfriend wont be able to, then I can make just as big a GUESS and say he will.
It is great your boyfriend is detoxing. I hope that if he makes it through, then he will begin a phase of recovery where he will spend time figuring out why he used, what triggers him, what needs to change in his life in order to stay clean, etc. That is what I call working recovery; and it can take any form, or any shape he chooses. There is no specific way for it to be done.
My husband is still in this phase, and he is headed towards six months clean. How do I know his program of recovery is working? I see positive changes in his attitude, his health, our relationship.
I hope you are able to do something special for yourself to celebrate the new job. Don’t let anyone rob you of the special feeling of accomplishment that happens when you land a great job.
Congratulations on the new job. That is wonderful news !!
I can relate to the disappointment you felt when your boyfriend wasn’t able to share in your feelings of joy. When my husband was in rehab, the first time I went to visit him, I took our 3 month old son. I went alone and we had to fly, so I had to balance my son, my luggage, all his stuff. We had a good weekend, but when I got home I was so tired. Even though I knew my husband had only been clean for a couple of weeks and wasn’t stable; I felt some disappointment in that he didn’t realize how much of an effort it was for me to make the trip. But weeks later when he was feeling better, he talked to me about how much those visits meant; and he acknowledged that it must have been difficult , and even scary for me to travel alone with our son.
So, AH-HA he was able to feel emotion for others, and he was able to express it.
Your boyfriend will be able to do the same thing, once he gets through the detox and is feeling better.
Normally, I wouldn’t say something with such assurance, but if others can express their certainty that your boyfriend wont be able to, then I can make just as big a GUESS and say he will.
It is great your boyfriend is detoxing. I hope that if he makes it through, then he will begin a phase of recovery where he will spend time figuring out why he used, what triggers him, what needs to change in his life in order to stay clean, etc. That is what I call working recovery; and it can take any form, or any shape he chooses. There is no specific way for it to be done.
My husband is still in this phase, and he is headed towards six months clean. How do I know his program of recovery is working? I see positive changes in his attitude, his health, our relationship.
I hope you are able to do something special for yourself to celebrate the new job. Don’t let anyone rob you of the special feeling of accomplishment that happens when you land a great job.
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