MycoolFitz

Was reading my book when I noticed the inscrption from my ex--love always, etc, I drank it all away. I can get sober but I can't get things back. What a screw up.

Natom

I too lost a partner through my addiction. Although I can't say I miss her all that much.

Dee74

We can never get things back Fitz, but sometimes we find something new...not better...just different.

I spent a lot of years mourning too...but if I hadn't screwed up in the past I'd have never met my current partner..

and she fits the sober me in a way that noone else did, or could, when I was drinking.

Life's not over until we stop breathing Fitz

D

KaeHot323

That sucks but people come in and out of your life for a reason. Maybe that person was only supposed to be there for a certain part of your ride in life. You may not be able to get that back but that leaves room for someone even better. My hub should have left me on several different drunk outta my mind occasions but somehow he didn't. I'm glad he stayed but that's not always a good thing when they do stay. Even if they thought they were supportive they could have been doing something that was bringing you down. Just my thoughts on it. Hang in there, you'll find someone who will embrace you in your up and down times.

MycoolFitz

I know it just hurt that she left when I was sober. I may get a goldfish

Tesla

I really know how you feel. The person who drove me to sobriety was also the one who left me 30 days later with no notice. I dipped into serious depression and starting counting minutes instead of days. But...I got through and although I had started running an emotional 5k I now found myself in a marathon....without the right preparation. I had every reason to fall off the wagon. So I made sure I did not listen to any country music channels and I realized that I got something really great out of the relationship...the kick in the pants to go sober. I focused on the gift, not the hurt and after six months we found our way together again. I also realized that I was a real son-of-a-gun for the first 6 months and that was part of the reason she left, she could not ride the crazy train that was sobriety, but she could not stand to see me fall, so she left. Sobriety is about caring for yourself first....something that is "trained out of us". Put yourself first and think about the good parts of the relationship that you can use to keep on the path (they planks on the walkway). Hang in there and thanks for posting such a concise but powerful piece.

Natom

Ha a quote from the recovery film 28 Days.....In response to someone asking when they can date in recovery. First buy a house plant. If that plant is still alive in one year then get a pet. After a year of the pet being alive then maybe, maybe you can think about dating.

MycoolFitz

Yea I entered treatment 4 years ago and am still trying to figure it out. Went to a meeting at the place today from the front door and an old friend came in from the locked door made me sad but I've been there. They give you sack lunches to take to the noon meetings, feel like a grade school kid. Maybe I was.

quitforme79

Natom...was watching 28 days the other night, great movie! And fitz, I try to trust that I am right where I am supposed to be. I believe that sometimes we lose people we love and sometimes that was always meant to happen because they were meant to teach us a lesson. That thinking helps me anyway.

FreeFall

Some very wise people here on SR and great perspective on dealing with a loss. Listen to Part of the Plan by Dan Fogelberg. Somehow, that song always makes me feel better if I'm feeling down...

MycoolFitz

I know just a was too long in the war zone. Hey its all goog almost 7 momths and DEE barely kicks my ass. I need to watch a movie tonight but something funny.

KaeHot323

I think that alot of times when people leave after you get better it may be the case of the "broken wing syndrome." They stick around when you're down and even though they complain they get a sense of being "needed" when helping someone with a problem. Soon as that person gets better they feel like they are not needed anymore and they want to flee to what they would call another "helpless soul." That is the only type of relationship that attracts them and even though we are the ones who are labelled as "dysfunctional" they are actually dysfunctional in their own way. Their drug of choice however is not alcohol, it's actually "people in need."

MIRecovery

My wife ran off with my best friend.....and I miss him Just kidding

mecanix

I like Will Hay movies , there from the 30's one i especially like is called "Oh! Mr Porter" it's a quite english but i think the humor travels . It is on u-tube, it's out of copyright .
Runs at about 1hr20mins

Bestwishes, M

KaeHot323

LOL MIRecovery it's crazy how life turns out.

MIRecovery

My fav's

Arsenic and old lace
Other peoples money
Funny thing happen on the way to the forum
A Christmas Story
A Fish Called Wanda
The life of brian
The hang over
Princess Bride
Raising Arizona
La Cage aux folles (Original Subtitles)
Planes Trains and Automobles


"Always remember when one door closes a better one opens"

drybuss

Ok, a drinking love story with a twist. If I hadn't been drunk I wouldn't have started the relationship that turned into my marriage. If my wife hadn't beed drunk she would not have had the confidence to talk to me. If I hadn't met her I would probably not have stopped drinking and wouldn't be here today. Weird! Good-by alcohol! I have no use for you now!

MycoolFitz

I know I was my own best enemy. But one day I believe I will learn something.

FreeFall

My boyfriend and I met through work, immediately created an excuse to go drinking together, drank together happily for years. Then, he quit, and I finally
am on the same path. I honestly have to say we had a lot of laughs and fun while drinking, but neither of us miss the consequences, head aches, and chaos.