PerhapsLove

My 32-y.o. daughter moved away from her ex-boyfriend, an active heroin addict, over the weekend. She rented a room in a house close to where her ex-husband and daughter live. She seemed better than I've seen her in a long time, but I didn't realize she, too, was addicted to heroin. She dropped out of contact yesterday, except for 2 very brief calls. I was worried that she had started drinking, but finally this morning she called. When I asked if she was drinking she said "no". I asked if she was withdrawing from drugs and she said "yes". She didn't want us to know she had been using drugs, but my husband especially was suspicious of that. She said she wants to get through this, and then continue on with her plan to rebuild her life.

My concern is whether it is safe for her to detox on her own. We offered to be with her, but she doesn't want us to see her like this. Also, I know she will need help afterward. She's been to rehab for her alcoholism 5 times. Do we insist that she go again, or will it be enough to go to meetings?

Oddly enough, I am relieved that she at least told me the truth. Now I know what we are dealing with. I may be naive, but it also makes me think she really does want to get better.

outtolunch

A medically supervised detox is safer than an DIY initiative. Having said this, the liklihood of a life threatening complication from a DIY heroin detox is substantially less than the risks of continued use.

Is she also detoxing from alcohol?

As you know, detox is not recovery. Whether or not to seek help/support is her business.

"Needing to"....is an attempt to please other people.

"Wanting" is what it takes to get and stay clean for oneself.

PerhapsLove

As far as I know she has not been drinking for several months. It now appears she has been using heroin instead.

BeavsDad

My son said he had to smoke a bit of meth to help him get through his last heroin home detox.

JMFburns

She is 32 yr. old and has been through rehab 5 times. I think she is old enough to take care of herself and experienced enough to know how to do it. I wouldn't take any action at this time if I were you.

I hope she does start fresh with this move.

My son is 32 yr. old (in a couple days) as well. When I read a post like yours I think "my goodness, that person is old enough to take care of themselves!" yet I must remind myself of the EXACT SAME THING when dealing w/my son. He hasn't matured with his physical age - seems more like 20ish (about the time he started using pot & eventually turned to pills).

interrupted

My sister has detoxed from Heroin without medical treatment, but she was in jail. I would be less concerned about the safety of opiate detox than about the likeliness of relapse. Opiate withdrawal is about as bad as it gets, I'm told, and detox is only the very beginning of recovery. My sister didn't make it a single day once she was released.

Alcohol withdrawal, on the other hand, absolutely requires medical attention. I have heard that people can die from acute alcohol withdrawal. Scary stuff.

I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter, I'll keep you and her in my prayers.

tjp613

I would only offer to drive her to detox IF that's what SHE wants and/or offer to bring her emergency supplies as needed (gatorade, immodium, advil, soup, etc.).

Lack of sleep and flu-like symptoms will keep her down for a number of days.

Heroin detox is not life-threatening, but she needs to stay hydrated.

PerhapsLove

I feel this way with my daughter as well. She sometimes behaves as though she is a teenager (when she began with her eating disorder). We aren't going to offer anything unless she expresses a desire to stay clean. We will take her to meetings and give her nourishment to get her through the symptoms. She said she understands that drinking alcohol is not a good idea because she won't be able to stop. Although she did say the thought crossed her mind, if only to sleep.

PerhapsLove

At this point I am taking one day at a time. I am concerned that she will start drinking to handle the withdrawal symptoms, but she said she knows that isn't a good idea. She said she didn't expect withdrawal symptoms because she has had days in the past where she didn't use. Don't think she admitted even to herself how much she was using. Like with alcohol when she had a seizure 2 days after her last drink.

PerhapsLove

This is pretty much what we are doing. Although she hasn't wanted us to see her in her present condition. As she starts to feel better, we plan to push meetings at the very least.

PerhapsLove

Sorry to hear that your sister went to jail. My daughter spent 4 days in jail after her DUI. I really thought it was enough to scare her straight, but it didn't. She is on probation now, but I don't think she has seen her officer for a number of months. Obviously she has been using heroin, which is a direct violation. I'm so scared for her to go back to an inner city jail.

PerhapsLove

I'm not sure if she has used meth. Right now she sounds like she was hit by a truck.

Justfor1

When it comes to addiction, addicts don't necessarily get "scared straight". The fear of using slowly goes away & consequences fade away. Her withdrawal from heroin will be similar to alcohol. Insomnia, body aches, anxiety ect.....

PerhapsLove

Our saga continues. My husband went to see our daughter today. He said she is very sleepy and has vomited a couple of times. She told him her ex, the drug addict, showed up last night. She said she didn't tell him where she was, but he drove 4 hours to get to her town. I don't believe that she didn't tell him, but in any event, she is saying he "must have" put something in her drink. My husband is trying to convince her to go to the hospital, but she has refused so far. She sounded so much better last night. I hate the thought that she may have used or that she is under the influence of something unknown. I don't understand why she agreed to see him (apparently they even went out of the house). Just venting, I guess. There are so many ups and downs.

tjp613

Sounds to me like she's not done yet and that she managed to hook you into the enabling cycle again by saying she wanted to get clean.

Step away. Step far, far away and go about your lives.

ErraticEuphoria

[QUOTE=PerhapsLove;3606608]My 32-y.o. daughter moved away from her ex-boyfriend, an active heroin addict, over the weekend. She rented a room in a house close to where her ex-husband and daughter live. She seemed better than I've seen her in a long time, but I didn't realize she, too, was addicted to heroin. She dropped out of contact yesterday, except for 2 very brief calls. I was worried that she had started drinking, but finally this morning she called. When I asked if she was drinking she said "no". I asked if she was withdrawing from drugs and she said "yes". She didn't want us to know she had been using drugs, but my husband especially was suspicious of that. She said she wants to get through this, and then continue on with her plan to rebuild her life.

My concern is whether it is safe for her to detox on her own. We offered to be with her, but she doesn't want us to see her like this. Also, I know she will need help afterward. She's been to rehab for her alcoholism 5 times. Do we insist that she go again, or will it be enough to go to meetings?

Oddly enough, I am relieved that she at least told me the truth. Now I know what we are dealing with. I may be naive, but it also makes me think she really does want to get better.[/QUOTE

I detoxed off of every kind of opiate over the past ten years multiple times and honestly it was more inconvenient than life threatening. I would try to detox myself off higher grade opiates with lesser classed opiates. That doesn't work one bit, all it does is lead to a relapse over and over again. My final time I did it cold turkey using a blood pressure med called Clonodine. KEPT myself hydrated with as many electrolyte based drinks as possible and did light exercises. Be there for your daughter if she wants you to be there, but I chose to do it alone for certain reasons. Maybe she's doing the same thing. As another guest on here said what you have to watch out for is a relapse, and it is true. But to be blunt with you, she's going to relapse if she wants to relapse even if you hold her hand through this. Be supportive but try not to be over bearing. I wish her the best, there is life outside of opiates.

dollydo

Hon, she is lieing to you and your husband...she has lied many times before and will continue to do so, it is what active users do. Think about his, how many times has she told you that she has quit using, months ago, was it true...no.

Your enabling has accomplished nothing, and, will not cure or save her, she is an adult, her recovery is totally up to her, until you let her fall to her knees, she has no chance of getting back up on her feet and becoming a responsible member of society.

I know that you want to help and that you are in pain, however, all her the dignity to find her own path in life, enabling is not the answer, it only delays one from reaching their bottom. I agree with TJP step away, go about the business of your life.

PerhapsLove

Sadly, you and TJP are right. We took her to the ER tonight because we thought she had OD'd. She was totally unresponsive when I arrived and my husband had been with her all day. She gave the addict her address. I read the texts she exchanged with him. Turns out she was unresponsive because she was DRUNK. 3 times the limit when we got her to ER. Just now learned she was positive for cocaine and opiates too. Says she will go to rehab. If she changes her mind when they discharge her, I have to walk away. I really believed she was serious about getting better. She said she wanted to get away from the abusive addict, but she called him and told him where to find her.

PerhapsLove

TJP, it turns out you are right. Had to take her to ER tonight. Drunk and positive for opiates and cocaine. Said she will go to rehab. I can't believe I fell for this again. Thank you so much. I think I am going to need a lot of support. Can't bear the thought of her dying from this.

LoveMeNow

I am sorry PerhapsLove. We all understand your pain and shattered hope. My prayers are with you and your family.