Maples

Been on and off the wagon for 2 years ever since I admitted I was an alcoholic to my family in 2010. Called in sick the past 2 days at work. Sitting in my shower vomiting this morning as I try to understand why I keep doing this to myself... I hate what I have become.

Sapling

Chapter 3


MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

From page 30 of the Big Book of AA....Maybe you can get yourself to a meeting today....It was the first thing I did that gave me any hope.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I am glad that you found us.

The reason you keep doing what you're doing is because you are addicted to alcohol. There is no logic involved, believe me, I know. Have faith and know that you can change your life. Get rid of the alcohol in your house, don't buy anymore and take a look around here and read stories of success.

Sapling

Hey Maples...Here is a good site you can look at. It can't hurt.

Your First AA Meeting<

sissy07

Hi Maples,

With a heavy heart I read your post. I have been where you are. I think I know how you feel.

You have got to do whatever it takes to quit drinking. You have to want to be sober more than anything else. It has to be the number one priority in your life.

Unfortunately, for me it took a lot to get to that point, even though I knew it was inevitable. You must want to be sober more than you want to drink.
I am sorry you are going through this.

Maples

Drink because I am unhappy, unhappy because I drink. Awful circle.

Maples

I need sobriety more than anything else in my life. As the tears roll down my cheek, I know this is the truth.

Sapling

For me it was endless....I had to take some action....My words weren't cutting it. 15 months without a drink...A true miracle for me.

Maples

I need to find an AA meeting in Massachusetts. Can someone please help me? Please help. I need this to end.

Sapling

They are everywhere...I lived in Boston...The AA listing for meetings was like a phonebook.

Here you go. Be sure and tell them you are new...They'll help you help yourself.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Local Resources that provide A.A. Meeting Information

Vall

Dear Maples you have come to the right place for help and support, please hang in there and try not to feel too alone, as you're not alone honestly.

You can change your life. I am sure you will. Big hugs.

Maples

Sapling, thank you. You have no idea how big a deal this is.

Live2Run25

Maples- hello. You are in the right starting spot. Everyone here is really helpful and supportive. I do agree that it has to be the number one priority in your life. You have to want it !

We are all here for you!

Maples

Vall, Sissy, Anna and Britt, thank you. Seriously, thank you.

Sapling

For myself...There wasn't a bigger deal....It was my life. Keep an open mind and keep hope...We'll get you out of this.

bbthumper

Maples, please know that there is a life available to you beyond what you can imagine. You have made a good start and your choice to go to an AA meeting is a wonderulf one. Reaching out for help is not always easy, but you will find in AA that the more you reach out the more support you will receive.
Best wishes to you!

Maples

Nervous about AA, never been but this needs to stop. Life needs to be worth it again.

bbthumper

You are not alone. I don't think an alcoholic has ever walked into their first meeting not feeling nervous. You'll be just fine. Best wishes to you.

Hooped

Maple I've been right where you are too many times to count.

Unhappy and depressed which led to more drinking, which made me more unhappy and depressed so I drank more..

I used to carry plastic bags in my back pocket in case I had to puke in an inappropriate place, like my car or an office, or a store.

Sitting on the toilet puking into the waste basket at the same time.

It's no way to live Maple.



See a doctor, they can help you with the withdrawls.
Get a program going, and do up your seatbelt for a better life.
It is worth it to change. You're worth it.

Dee74

Welcome back Maples.

I think there's lot of us who know intimately the kind of life you're leading...don't give up hope...if someone like me can turn my life around, you sure can too....and I'm but one of 1000s of examples here...

Good luck with AA and yeah, do see a Dr if you're really sick...it's the safe thing to do.

D