Things I learned from my animals
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Portlandia
Posts: 77
Things I learned from my animals
So, I've read enough to know that there are a few animal-people here. ; ) My AH and I chose to have animals rather than children, and for that I am HUGELY grateful every day.
I hope this isn't inappropriate, but I thought it would be fun for us animal-folk to talk about how our animals help/ed us in our recoveries.
Plus, I'm always looking for new tools for my training toolbox. :rotfxko
My animals were instrumental in helping me gain clarity and insight into my life as it *really* was (instead of my fantasy life), and sometimes I used various dog and horse training methods on my AH and my own self, with some success.
For me the biggest epiphany was watching a documentary about a trainer of humans and horses, Buck Brannaman (a child of an alcoholic himself), who said "Show me your horse and I'll tell you who you are." That was a HUGE thing for me. My horse and I really pushed each other's buttons, and I realized that the anger the horse showed at times was an exact mirror of what was going on inside me, which at the time reflected my anger towards my AH.
I knew that wasn't going to work! I had to learn another way, a better way to be!
I learned compassion, humility, courage, and to put my darn ego away. Ego has no place in being effective, and often emotions aren't "effective" either, they certainly won't keep you safe around a 1200 pound prey animal. I had to learn objectivity, and darned if things didn't start to turn around when I stopped reacting.
Thanks to a great dog trainer named Ian Dunbar (IMO), I learned to get and keep my dogs' focus, kind of an analogy to focusing on my own self. It sure keeps them out of trouble - and I think focusing on my own self keeps me out of trouble too.
My animals forced me to put one foot in front of the other during the darkest days - they still needed to be walked, exercised, fed - and there were times when that was all I could do. But I still did it!
So: thanks, creatures, I wouldn't be where I am today without you.
I hope this isn't inappropriate, but I thought it would be fun for us animal-folk to talk about how our animals help/ed us in our recoveries.
Plus, I'm always looking for new tools for my training toolbox. :rotfxko
My animals were instrumental in helping me gain clarity and insight into my life as it *really* was (instead of my fantasy life), and sometimes I used various dog and horse training methods on my AH and my own self, with some success.
For me the biggest epiphany was watching a documentary about a trainer of humans and horses, Buck Brannaman (a child of an alcoholic himself), who said "Show me your horse and I'll tell you who you are." That was a HUGE thing for me. My horse and I really pushed each other's buttons, and I realized that the anger the horse showed at times was an exact mirror of what was going on inside me, which at the time reflected my anger towards my AH.
I knew that wasn't going to work! I had to learn another way, a better way to be!
I learned compassion, humility, courage, and to put my darn ego away. Ego has no place in being effective, and often emotions aren't "effective" either, they certainly won't keep you safe around a 1200 pound prey animal. I had to learn objectivity, and darned if things didn't start to turn around when I stopped reacting.
Thanks to a great dog trainer named Ian Dunbar (IMO), I learned to get and keep my dogs' focus, kind of an analogy to focusing on my own self. It sure keeps them out of trouble - and I think focusing on my own self keeps me out of trouble too.
My animals forced me to put one foot in front of the other during the darkest days - they still needed to be walked, exercised, fed - and there were times when that was all I could do. But I still did it!
So: thanks, creatures, I wouldn't be where I am today without you.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
We had no kids but did raise a 17.5 year old Rat Terrier. Lost her about 10 months ago and still not over it. Learned a lot from her over the years such as how to:
Love unconditionally
To comfort someone who is sick or hurting
To do what you have to do even when you don't feel like it
To be joyful and appreciative of each day
To not care what you are doing as long as you are with the ones you love
Most all good traits that we people work so hard to acquire can easily and naturally seen in dogs.
I could keep typing but I tend to type too much.
Love unconditionally
To comfort someone who is sick or hurting
To do what you have to do even when you don't feel like it
To be joyful and appreciative of each day
To not care what you are doing as long as you are with the ones you love
Most all good traits that we people work so hard to acquire can easily and naturally seen in dogs.
I could keep typing but I tend to type too much.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
My girl Maddie was my best friend for 11 years -- she saw me through the pain of a divorce and a relationship with XABF, right into a new life with current husband. We don't plan to have kids so she was pretty much the center of our world. She was sweet, tolerant, and loving -- and she never liked XABF! I should have followed her instincts, but c'est la vie.
She was diagnosed with cancer in 2009. They told us it was the 'happiest kind' of cancer, and that most dogs lived 1 - 3 years and eventually died from something else. There were many ups and downs in her treatment and we told ourselves if she ever didn't seem like our Maddie, we would let her go. Through chemo, surgery, radiation -- all of it, she was still our happy and energetic puppy. Then one day last August she just couldn't get up. Her hind legs weren't working properly. We took her to the vet immediately and they told us she was bleeding internally and our options were limited. We gathered her whole family around her (me and my husband, my ex-husband and his wife), said our tearful goodbyes, and let her go. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am grateful for every moment I got to have with her. We were truly blessed with her companionship, and she showed me that dogs are the strongest evidence of a Higher Power there is.
Ugh, now I'm crying at work. Thanks for this thread -- I think I needed it!
She was diagnosed with cancer in 2009. They told us it was the 'happiest kind' of cancer, and that most dogs lived 1 - 3 years and eventually died from something else. There were many ups and downs in her treatment and we told ourselves if she ever didn't seem like our Maddie, we would let her go. Through chemo, surgery, radiation -- all of it, she was still our happy and energetic puppy. Then one day last August she just couldn't get up. Her hind legs weren't working properly. We took her to the vet immediately and they told us she was bleeding internally and our options were limited. We gathered her whole family around her (me and my husband, my ex-husband and his wife), said our tearful goodbyes, and let her go. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am grateful for every moment I got to have with her. We were truly blessed with her companionship, and she showed me that dogs are the strongest evidence of a Higher Power there is.
Ugh, now I'm crying at work. Thanks for this thread -- I think I needed it!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Remembering my best furry friend cat makes me proud. Her loyalty was extreme. She clawed her way up my pant leg when she was a kitten, found she liked the view from atop my shoulder, and spent many years laying shoulder to shoulder like a live stoll. There I would be, carrying laundry up the stairs, and there was my cat--forever faithful riding on my neck and shoulders. She was fiercely independent, an indoor/outdoor cat, and had no loyalty to anyone but me. She was a bit of a pistol...much like me, sometimes moody, quite demanding, but fiercely loyal.
She's buried beneath the most beautiful very tall pine tree that puts to shame all those that have been in front of the whitehouse at Christmas. I think she would approve of her burial spot.
She's buried beneath the most beautiful very tall pine tree that puts to shame all those that have been in front of the whitehouse at Christmas. I think she would approve of her burial spot.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 585
So so true....
Originally Posted by dollydo 
Thank you for this thread, certainly hit home for me. I have lost many furry friends, and, I learned from each one of them. For that i am grateful.
It came to me that every time I lose a dog... Sign
My dog has taught me so much:
- the true meaning of unconditional love
- caring
- patience
- forgiveness
- doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done regardless of whether or not I wanted to do it! (Ah, the 4am walks, snowy tromps, and last but certainly not least, the daily cleaning of his "dingle" after his last round of surgery!)
He's seen me through so much, and I've seen him through his share of stuff as well - he's had two bladders stone removal surgeries and a toe removal as well. I've NEVER seen a human bounce back from surgery the way a dog can, and their sheer joy for life - and ability to just FIND that joy no matter what - is inspiring. And even though he's pushing 14, he STILL beats me up the stairs, lol!
All in all, he's amazing. I can only hope to be a smidgen as resilient, kind, joyful, and loving as he has been. Excuse me..I gotta go hug my dog now!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Great thread! My kitty, Elvis (the black one) has two fatal diseases but don't tell HIM that! He is snuggled in my lap, reaching up to tuck his head under my chin after a great day outside in the sunshine, eating a piece of KFC grilled chicken and cat treats. He's skin and bones, but can run, jump and EAT.
He's taught me that every day is to be enjoyed, love is unconditional, and sometimes it's fun to play with the "thing on a string". He doesn't know what "numbing your feelings" is about. He's also taught me about trust. He's been really sick in the past, but he trust me to make him feel better even if it means squirting water in a syringe down his throat to rehydrate him.
All my furbabies have taught me more about life than a lot of humans.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
He's taught me that every day is to be enjoyed, love is unconditional, and sometimes it's fun to play with the "thing on a string". He doesn't know what "numbing your feelings" is about. He's also taught me about trust. He's been really sick in the past, but he trust me to make him feel better even if it means squirting water in a syringe down his throat to rehydrate him.
All my furbabies have taught me more about life than a lot of humans.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
My animals teach me to live in the present, in every way. Just today, my older puppy chewed up yet another shoe. My kids are notorious for leaving things around, so its easy for her to get their shoes. When I got home and saw the damage, I was instantly mad at her. She instantly reacted - she knows chewing shoes is bad. We had a brief stare down, me with a mad face, her looking extremely guilty. Then the moment passed, and she went from guilty and cowering to happy and excited to see me, as soon as I relaxed my mad face. It was that easy to move into the next moment. I want to be like that! ; )
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
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What a wonderful thread. The collective experiences bring tears to my eyes and also smiles.
My young rescued bully boy just popped his head around the corner. He came to check in with me and to hang out until it's time to go up to bed. He has been a great addition to the family and I believe truly has a calming and healing effect on the semi-dysfunctional trio of humans, who live here.
My young rescued bully boy just popped his head around the corner. He came to check in with me and to hang out until it's time to go up to bed. He has been a great addition to the family and I believe truly has a calming and healing effect on the semi-dysfunctional trio of humans, who live here.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I just bought a great book by Eckhart Tolle and Patrick McDonnell
Guardians of Being Spiritual Teachings from our Dogs and Cats.
My fave line: I have lived with many Zen Masters....all of them my cats.
It really brought home what my two do for me.
Guardians of Being Spiritual Teachings from our Dogs and Cats.
My fave line: I have lived with many Zen Masters....all of them my cats.
It really brought home what my two do for me.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 183
My husband is in recovery and he swears that he wouldn't have made it through the initial months without our cat Jack who sensed the struggle and didn't leave RAH's side. Jack died of cancer about a year after sobriety and it was devastating.
We have 5 cats and they keep us sane and grounded.
We have 5 cats and they keep us sane and grounded.
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