To 302 or not to 302
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: pgh, pa
Posts: 11
To 302 or not to 302
My mind is buzzing and I cannot sleep. In a few short hours I am to assist a facility in 302ing my brother whom I love dearly. He is a severe alcoholic...severe to the point that after one sip he goes on binges that last from 5 days to weeks where he does nothing but drink to the point of insanity. He misses work, school and he isolates himself. The last couple of years have gotten worse. The last 2 episodes have landed him in a psychiatric hospital after contemplating suicide and visiting nearby train tracks. Currently, he is in a BHU and filed his 72 hour papers (ama) and is desperate to get out. Consequently he called and begged me to assist in this. I agreed under the notion that he would come live with me until the social worker called and filled me in on his 3 botched suicide attempts. I cannot in good conscience assist in this madness. I do not want my brother to have a 302 on his record. He wants to be an english teacher overseas! But I do not want him to die and he refuses inpatient or outpatient treatment. I have a grave feeling that after tomorrow my beloved bro will hate me. The questions are...if I truly love him am I willing to help him in the way he needs? What way is that? Are 302's even effective and are they ethical!??! 
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Get him ASAP a probate lawyer who has done and has expertise in sec. 302 work on suicide attempts.
I don't know if converting the involuntary exam/commitment to a voluntary hospitalization for "alcoholism" right away will have any effect on applying for a teaching certificate. It may be a moot issue with the suicide attempts having been made (police record). I don't know what goes into the certificate or the background checks there. Maybe the lawyer can also check with a teacher's union rep.
I don't know if converting the involuntary exam/commitment to a voluntary hospitalization for "alcoholism" right away will have any effect on applying for a teaching certificate. It may be a moot issue with the suicide attempts having been made (police record). I don't know what goes into the certificate or the background checks there. Maybe the lawyer can also check with a teacher's union rep.
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Sorry. 302 is the code in PA for involuntarily committing someone to an institution because of severe mental health issues and/or being a danger to oneself or someone else. They can be held for up to 5 days...if their treatment is not improving or is just underway, the Drs at that point will then go to a judge and file a 303 and so on and so forth. This is so they are forced to get help they need.
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The appt is in 3 short hours. I am terrified to go and watch my brother react like a desperate caged animal but I have no choice. I just wish I did not have to do this alone. My parents live seperately out of state and are "done" with him anyways. His care now lands on me, his little sis. I feel selfish at a time like this for feeling sorry for myself but this is so painful. I guess this why I am posting here. No one seems to understand what I am going through.
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Join Date: May 2012
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leafof3,
None of us know the intricate details, but we do know one thing--that you are trying to do the best thing for your brother at this time in his life to get him to turn his life around, and save him from himself.
Nobody can chastise you for not knowing perfectly what to do. Just do the best you can. You love him and want him to live. Sober, he probably would want to live too. He definitely will never be a teacher overseas or anywhere if he is dead, so that should settle the question of having possible hurt his career chances down the line.
I had a very close friend commit suicide last year. He came to me and told me he was going to do it, and I didn't stop him that time like I did the year before. How was I to know that this time was the time he would go through with it?
In hindsight naturally I wish I had called the authorities.
I suppose the biggest question of all is whether we really have the right to stop people from committing suicide at all. Well we do the best we can, and we have to make that assumption that if they were in their right mind they would not choose this.
None of us know the intricate details, but we do know one thing--that you are trying to do the best thing for your brother at this time in his life to get him to turn his life around, and save him from himself.
Nobody can chastise you for not knowing perfectly what to do. Just do the best you can. You love him and want him to live. Sober, he probably would want to live too. He definitely will never be a teacher overseas or anywhere if he is dead, so that should settle the question of having possible hurt his career chances down the line.
I had a very close friend commit suicide last year. He came to me and told me he was going to do it, and I didn't stop him that time like I did the year before. How was I to know that this time was the time he would go through with it?
In hindsight naturally I wish I had called the authorities.
I suppose the biggest question of all is whether we really have the right to stop people from committing suicide at all. Well we do the best we can, and we have to make that assumption that if they were in their right mind they would not choose this.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Sending you encouragement and support today as you face this situation.
Please keep in mind that your brother needs help ~ professional help. You are taking steps to help him get the professional help he needs. The professionals are trained to deal with these situations.
Your brother's alcoholism and addiction cause him to say and do anything that keeps people from stopping him. He will manipulate people with his words to keep them in his control. He needs control to keep feeding his addiction.
He mentions his lifelong dream of teaching overseas to pull on the emotions of his loved ones ~ manipulation. Look at his actions over the last 2 years.....are they the actions of someone trying to fulfill a lifelong dream of teaching overseas?
Please keep in mind that your brother needs help ~ professional help. You are taking steps to help him get the professional help he needs. The professionals are trained to deal with these situations.
Your brother's alcoholism and addiction cause him to say and do anything that keeps people from stopping him. He will manipulate people with his words to keep them in his control. He needs control to keep feeding his addiction.
He mentions his lifelong dream of teaching overseas to pull on the emotions of his loved ones ~ manipulation. Look at his actions over the last 2 years.....are they the actions of someone trying to fulfill a lifelong dream of teaching overseas?
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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It is not having a 302 on his record that is the real concern for fulfilling his dreams of teaching overseas. First and foremost it is his alcoholism. That's where your focus is and I wouldn't question it.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Keep us posted! All the best to you dear & your dear brother! 
BTW, we do understand ... and there are brothers and sisters here who are going through what you are going through ... extremely difficult situations as the only involved family member dealing with a sibling's alcoholism. Search Posts (not threads) for one in this Forum with the key word "excrement" - so vivid.
BTW, we do understand ... and there are brothers and sisters here who are going through what you are going through ... extremely difficult situations as the only involved family member dealing with a sibling's alcoholism. Search Posts (not threads) for one in this Forum with the key word "excrement" - so vivid.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
I firmly believe that you are doing the right and ethical thing. I consider it, literally, an act of love.
Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do.
You have the empathy and support of the people on this board who understand the kind of pain you are feeling.
I will be thinking of you all day. Please drop in when you can and let us know how it is going---please.
dandylion
Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing to do.
You have the empathy and support of the people on this board who understand the kind of pain you are feeling.
I will be thinking of you all day. Please drop in when you can and let us know how it is going---please.
dandylion
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Sorry for the delay in getting back. After the day I had I just wanted to come home and hug my babies. We did go through with the commitment. He was given the choice to go voluntarily but he refused. I have never beens so conflicted in my life. He was like a scared and desperate trapped animal, pleading with me his little sister to please take him home to my house. Its crazy, we have always been so close. We grew up covering for each other and getting each other out of tight spots. But I just could not get him out of this one. How could I? He needs help that I am not trained to give. Its obvious I can't save him myself...look where he is today. I fervently pray they are able to get through to him. I want my big brother back.
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Deep down I know this was the right thing, and everyone is right. His dreams of being a teacher will never happen if he is drunk or dead. Such a painful disease alcoholism is, it affects not only the drinker, but everyone that loves them so deeply. Why can they not see the hurt they are creating. Even my girls are affected by this as much as I shield them.
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Join Date: May 2012
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When the time is right, you can explain to him that you did this out of love and sincere concern for his well being. He may not accept it at first, but with sobertime, the right meds, and the intensive counseling he will receive, he may come to understand that you were doing it for exactly those reasons and no other.
I have a feeling you will get your brother back sooner than later
I have a feeling you will get your brother back sooner than later
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Leaf, you did the right thing. I had to press charges against my own son who was so addicted to heroin he was like an animal. Now sober in jail, he has reflected that "he was a monster when on drugs". He himself has said that jail is the first step for him in getting sober. One day at a time. My son was "5150'ed" same as 302 voluntarily for his 21st and 22nd birthday both ... Sigh.
Drugs suck.
Hugs
Teresa
Drugs suck.
Hugs
Teresa
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: MA
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You absolutely did the right thing. He's lucky to have such a strong, brave sister. Letting him stay with you would have been the easy way out of the situation. You stuck to your guns and probably saved his life. Good job
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Thank you everyone so much for the loving support and advice. It really does make a difference. I feel much better today about the decision I made, although my heart hurts knowing his is in pain. But now I realize that pain is necessary first so that healing can come later. I refuse to enable him any longer. I am very glad I found this site.
To Teresa...my heart goes out to you...drugs ARE horrible and I could not imagine going through this with a child. But you must be one hell of a strong, loving and totally unselfish mother to have been able to help your son the way you have. You saved his life and I pray that he continues on his path of sobriety the rest of his life. It is soooo encouraging to hear success stories!
To Teresa...my heart goes out to you...drugs ARE horrible and I could not imagine going through this with a child. But you must be one hell of a strong, loving and totally unselfish mother to have been able to help your son the way you have. You saved his life and I pray that he continues on his path of sobriety the rest of his life. It is soooo encouraging to hear success stories!
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