fallingtogether

So, I messed up huge this weekend and yesterday. My hubby ha had enough and has asked his mom to keep the kids last night and tonight. They know that I drank Sunday. It really was a key down to them and many other people. I acted a fool at my grandfathers wake and woke up with shame yesterday. After I got her to school, I came home and drank the pain away. There is no alcohol left in the house. My husband made this decision on his own free will and I respect him for that. Me saying I won't drink isn't enough. I want to be held accountable and put it all out on the line with everyone. I went back to aa today. Haven't been there in months an never really got a recovery program going. I guess I was there to get people off my back. I am going to a second meeting tonight. And am getting signatures from the chair people, so my husband will believe me. I can't afford to mess up again. Or he will divorce me and take my kids. I am completely accountable for all of this and I know it. I just want my family together. Tomorrow can't come fast enough. I just don't know how to handle this. Not drinking is a definite.

PaperDolls

From my experience, once your actions show you're really doing it, he'll believe you.

Have you considered getting a sponsor and working the steps? It made a world of difference for me. I tried for years to do it my way, never succeeded.

Mracoa

Tie these to parts of your statement together. Go to meetings to learn how to handle it, not just to get anyone off your back and you can do it.

fallingtogether

Right, I was saying in the past apparently I wasn't there for the right reason. I feel differently. I feel like if I don't work this program, I will lose everything and die. I plan to get a sponsor tonight, god willing!

PaperDolls

Awesome Chardonnay! Keep us posted!!

Andrea84

Keep your head up, you can do this! Get support and know that you are strong enough. Good luck..

Titanic

Great Job in getting back to AA!!! HUGS!!! Also, please post on the Newcomers to Recovery forum here, where you will get more experienced support.

Now free your mind, and then keep it open at AA. Take one day at a time and do the next right thing. Doing so will take your mind off what has happened in the past (it's done), and what he might do with the kids or you (that's for another day and may never come to pass). Your NUMBER 1 PRIORITY IS SOBRIETY and working THE AA program not a custom version "terminally unique" to you. So open that mind and Listen and Learn about what THE program is. Go by/buy the book, the Big Book, and the 12 & 12. Get a sponsor asap even if only a temporary one. Dive in. There's hope.

All the best.