JediTrey

Day 2 after complete blackout on Sunday. Other guys in the office joking around, getting along with their day..Me,, I just want to go home in bed and cry, why did I let it get to this point, feel like such a child

2granddaughters

It's outlined quite well in AA's "The Doctors Opinion" and "How It Works".

I wish you the best.

Bob R

SoulOnFire

Don't feel like a child. Being a functioning addict is hard. Trust me...I work full time and go to school full time.

Rather than beating yourself up for feeling like crap, commend yourself for these past 48 hours of sobriety and your strength in getting up and going to work despite the urge to stay in bed all day.

Itchy

Sorry you feel badly, we all get that when we decide to quit. Are you planning to quit? If so I would advise you get to AA and use them as a start. It isn't for everybody but a good place to get advice and find out all the local resources. Don't worry about being seen as the ones you might worry about probably feel the same thus what the second A in AA stands for. I got through it with my docs, and an in hospital detox as I was not interested in risking seizures. I hope you have dialed in your Doc to what is going on with an honest statement of how much you were drinking.

If things get really bad go to the ER, and forget about anyone finding out. Detox can be dangerous.

I just scanned all your posts and to be honest you have been relapsing over and over. I don't mean that as a lecture, we all have been where you are today. Some of us decided to never be there again.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Albert Einstein

What are you planning to do differently to stay sober? You are making a good start by coming back here. Read a lot, keep posting a lot, and welcome back!

DisplacedGRITS

well, when i was using, i was being ruled by an inner child. my child/addict got what it wanted when it wanted it. i paid the price and felt like a fool when the child was pacified. when i craved, it was that child throwing a tantrum. when i gave in, it was that willful, stubborn child getting what it wanted and running wild with it. it wasn't until i started acting like the adult i am and putting that part of me in time out and finally banishing that willful, wild, tantrum throwing part of me. i had to learn to restrain it first though.

are you ready to start doing the hard work? are you willing to put Baby in a corner? (hey, if you can work in a Dirty Dancing reference, do it!) in all seriousness, i bounced around this site for months before i finally had enough and was ready to get serious. maybe you're finally exhausted with fighting this battle with alcohol and are ready to go the other way and give it up. it's a lot less complicated and at least when you do the hard work here, you actually reap rewards for it. you've dipped your toes in the water long enough. time to jump in the pool. we're here to support you.