KaeHot323

Hello to all! I can't recall how this happened after my first 43 days sober (well, yes I can, I gave in to one drink that lead to 30) but I'm back! I don't know how many times I'm gonna have to remind myself that just because I feel better after a few weeks sober, doesn't mean my body will do much better with alcohol than before. Just one drink lead to going full blast everyday for the past week. My stats at work also went down as far as performance, call time, and customer satisfaction (I do DirecTv customer service). Oh well, no use in beating myself up about it. Just getting back on the wagon today. Yesterday was hell but today I feel alot better.

IWillWin

It is baffling isn't it? Good for you coming here and resolving to try again. One of the hardest things to do is get back up and dust ourselves off - without beating ourselves up.

I'm rooting for you! And I am a looooong time DirectTV customer and have nothing but praise for your whole customer service team! Everyone is entitled to a bad day here and there

KaeHot323

Thank you for the encouragement! Day one is an embarrassing number, but it's better than saying, "I'll start on day one tomorrow!"

Sapling

Welcome back KaeHot323!....Glad you're still not out there testing the waters...They run deep!

KaeHot323

Thank you Sapling.....Yes they do, with murky water and alligators lurking!

Dee74

Welcome back
I agree it's useless beating ourselves up - I think it's useful to look at what went wrong tho

what are you going to add to your recovery programme to strengthen it this time Kae?

D

Impurrfect

Welcome Back!! Just think, this can be your last day 1 I'm really glad you got back here so quick - a lot of people let it go on for years, so don't go beating yourself up.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

KaeHot323

Hmmmmmm....good question. Well first of all, not expecting the whole world to rejoice with me when I become sober, since life was going on while I was drunk. I realize that my sobriety depends on me and nobody else can make me drink whether by words or otherwise. Then, remembering that drinking for me always ends up with the same outcome....never good. I'll add more as I go.

KaeHot323

Yes I am glad it didn't last that long Impurrfect, it usually pulls me back in for at least 6 months to a year. I'm gonna have to really be more careful, because just one slip actually has the potential to keep my tied up. I also gotta stop asking hubby if he's happy that I'm sober because I don't always get the answer I'm looking for. I have to do this for me.

Anna

KaeHot,

It sounds like you have a good attitude about getting back at it, and I hope this time is your last Day 1.

I used to let myself be affected by other people's actions and words and would blame them for making me drink. But, as you said, it's ultimately up to each of us to do what we have to do. No one else can make us change.

IndaMiricale

I tried and tried to drink normally. Its just not in the cards.. You can be free..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html

Hevyn

Glad you came back, KaeHot. Some stop trying all together. I made many attempts to stop, but the last time I knew I was done. I finally admitted that one would always lead to 30. It took me years to stop trying to use willpower to have 'a few'.

You can do it, KaeHot. You learned something valuable, and you sound ready to get this done.