Addict2Hope

My AH and I have been living apart for years, he recently moved to my home state. We have a three year old Daughter together. His world is slowly starting to crumble down around him as it always seems to do in his addiction cycle. He will soon be homeless I fear. His car was repossessed a few days ago and now he cant work. He already is having trouble making rent on his apartment.
Why does the thought of him being homeless scare the crap out of me? I will have to turn him away if he shows up at my door but the thought of doing it makes me sick.

What have you done when your addict was in such a situation?
How did you deal with it?

Thanks for any and all advice

EnglishGarden

I have not had connection with an addict in such a situation. But others will be along (it is a little late so more will be here tomorrow) to share their stories with you.

What I do know is that AA, NA and CA are populated by millions of addicts who found recovery ONLY because their lives were disintegrating just like your former partner's life is disintegrating.

In Al-Anon (the recovery program for family members of alcoholics and drug addicts), the advice given is never to interfere with a crisis caused by the drinking or the drug. Because inside that crisis that is unfolding is the seed of recovery. It is pain which has sent addicts into recovery. Some have much lower and longer-lasting bottoms, and most have a repeated series of bottoms. But the bottom can be the turning point. If the addict is still alive and is experiencing the hell of consequences caused by his drugging, that is a good thing.

Concentrate on the young life of your child, and place the child's father in the care of his Higher Power.

Impurrfect

I've actually BEEN the homeless addict. I'm in recovery for that as well as codependency.

While I wouldn't wish my experiences on my worst enemy, I NEEDED to be homeless. I NEEDED my family to back off and not bail me out of situations. Basically, I needed to face the consequences of my addiction.

Being on the other side..the one that watches loved ones ruin their lives, it's hard. SR and the great people here have helped me through it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

crazybabie

My Ah is currently couch surfing however, my oldest AS has been homeless I took him myself one Mothers Day to one of our local homeless shelters broke my heart he was only 19 I did what I had too. Did it help him I really don't know he got kicked out of the shelter and lived in abandoned houses etc...

My sons case is a bit complicated due to his mental illness and personality disorder however the professionals told us that then the addiction has to be treated first and he refused. He is currently in prison I would make the same choice again if I was put in that position.

Don't stand in the way of what could possibly be your AH way to his bottom per say.
I understand how you feel I really do...

FindingErica

You are pretty strong CB. I dont know how you handle all you do.

FindingErica

I think the hardest part of addiction is watching the addict on theirvwy down to the bottom, and standing back, not helping break their fall. Especially for us codies because we live to fix. Also its scary and saddening. Ive been dealing with my meth addicted sister for 20 years. Ive learned not to help or do anything for her. Hearing about her is horrble and tragic. Now AH. He came close to homeless. What can you do? Nothing, take care of your kid and try not o be a font row spectator as much as possible.

Freedom1990

I've reminded myself that God is either everything, or he is nothing.

My God watches over me, and I have no doubt he watches over the addicts in my life.

supportforme

My STBXAH became homeless and In order to save myself and my children and had to let go and let God take the wheel. He landed at this Mother's but that's his business. It's not easy and it breaks your heart but we need to find the strength so that we can survive. If we don't their addiction will take us down with them. I pray for you and your daughter. Take care of yourself.

seventytimes7

I needed to read this tonight. Thank you. 70X7