Edabisco

I was reading an article at thefix.com (which is a great site) and it talked about how one thing that people with addictions have in common is a fear of being left out of things. They meant that not just in terms of wishing you could join in on drinking or using or whatever, but that even from a very young age there was a fear of not being included in social activities. I thought about that, and realized that that's completely true of me, I always had a fear that friends weren't inviting me to something, or that cool stuff was happening which nobody wanted me at. It seems like it became compounded when I moved across state a few years ago for my job, when I was first making friends (which in adulthood I seemed to pull off pretty well) but where I also was worried that if I wasn't "on" and extroverted all the time people wouldn't want to hang out with me. So I was performing all the time, and booze (which had always been there) became part of that. I was wondering if you guys had that same fear, of being excluded?

NoFireWater

I don't know if it was so much a fear of being left out, but definitely always wanted to fit in and be like everybody else. I always had to be part of some group growing up, it was how I made friends. I didn't start drinking when everybody else did, waited longer, but I caught up in a hurry. When I did start it was to fit in with the guys that we liked. It definitely felt like I had to be more outgoing to be more "cool" and drinking helped with that. All downhill from there. Interesting topic....

driftapart

I'd say that's true of me.

But then again, who enjoys being left out?

Dee74

I don't think anyone enjoys being left out...

but I wasn't enjoying being left in & nearly killing myself in my and my drinking buds hard drinking rock n rolling life either.

I stepped away from that life style...took the booze away and worked out who sober me was.

Then I built a new life based on, in, and around those discoveries.

Now...I'm not left out - I've never been more connected with other people, I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my life and I'm at peace and happy.

I couldn't tell you what my old drinking buds are doing today - but I can guess.

and good luck to them too...we all have a right to determine how we want to live our lives...

I'm just happy I took that leap of faith and changed course.
D