MTBChick

Well, I'm insane.... OK, well maybe for a week or so I was. I let my own issues/insecurities get the best of me and I went chasing after the recent undiagnosed XABF of 3 months trying to win him back. I know what was I thinking right!?! I mean I had the 5 year relationship with previous XABF that ended 6 years ago to tell me this isn't a good idea bc I know how it will end. Did I listen to my rational brain no. So, I succeeded in getting him back into my life. He contacted me drunk said nice things yadda yadda yadda. We hung out on Sunday he talked about his problem said he can't physically go more than 2 days without getting the shakes. He doesn't belive in AA said his Dr's are making a stink about his drinking and his health he is starting to miss work. As in he has been at this job a little over 90 days and has missed at least 6 to 7 days. So I had said I wouldn't be very involved with him until he gets into recovery. Anyway, this week I've been an emotional mess and he has been distant not initiating contact but would respond to my texts but not very talkative. Anyway, yesterday he said he would talk with me later in the evening. Evening came and nothing. I texted him no response I waited a while then called him. It went to VM didn't leave a message decided to try back later. When I called again he let it ring 2 times then sent it to VM. That's when I woke up and was like NO I'm not doing this I love myself to much and I will not be friends nor date someone who would knowingly treat me the exact same way my XABF from 6 years ago had. I had shared what he had done with current guy so the fact that he was now doing the exact same things. I'm not sticking around so I left message that I care about him as a person but, I'm done bc I love me more. I haven't a clue why he did what he did yesterday part of me cares and wants to know the other part doesn't bc it doesn't change anything. I know with one from 6 years ago it was bc he was drinking and with other women. I'm continuing to do al-anon I just hope I don't slip back into Insanity again and that he doesn't contact me.

dollydo

Block his number and get it over with. If you don't go no contact now you will be at square one, you are already on a slippery slope.

MTBChick

He is already blocked I am greatful I have an amazing support group at work and friends outside of work and I've found an awesome Al-Anon group... An of course reading the forums here on SR

ZiggyB

Yeah definitely sounds like blocking his number is the way to go...

It's difficult when you are drawn to these folks like a moth to a flame but you need to stay out of the scenario for your own sanity. I feel sickened when I think of all the times my axbf and I broke up and got back together, although he was usually the one chasing me and not the other way around. Be strong!

Titanic

You take care of You and restore Your Self.

Tuffgirl

"Insanity" also helps us learn our lessons. Maybe you needed another reminder to really let go this time.

Keep focusing on you; there is something better out there for you than this.

Titanic

Open wounds let the light shine in. Rumi

emeraldsea

I completely understand the insane impulse to try to win back someone who doesn't deserve the effort. It's so addictive to try to get it back. But the hurt is inevitable.

Good for you for quickly realizing it was the wrong path to go down and taking steps to stop the suffering.

MTBChick

Thanks all. Like him ive got my own addiction and that is always wanting to know what it is I did to make people treat me the way he did. It even goes so far as like I did with him chasing to try and get answers out of him. End result he won't talk. It's crazy making. I know at the core of my own issues is I don't think I'm enough, not good enough, not lots of things. So I think I seek out men who will validate through their actions exactly what I really feel about myself. So I'm trying NO contact it's hard bc I want answers he won't speak to me anyway bc "he's the healthy one". I was out with a guy friend last night and ran into the XABF I turned and walked the other direction. He followed me for a little while. Deep down I get his not speaking to me I know his truths and I won't enable the behavior and I know I need to not speak to him so that I can get healthy.