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I had a bath

Old 09-27-2012, 12:19 PM
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I had a bath

I had a bath today. The first one since my Dad died exactly 4 months ago. I used to love bubble baths, but lately have been unable to allow myself to enjoy anything. It took me days of building up to this bath.

Questions about, when I was going to clean the bathroom (that looked a bit like Miss Havisham’s living room), when I was going to have it?, if I was going to exfoliate?, shave hairy legs or not? (luckily they are blond), which shaver? which bubble bath?, which towel?, would I take my usual glass of water as I always get so thirsty?, candles?, a book?, a glass of wine?X!.

I stood looking at the bubbles sparkling, listening to them crackling, popping for what seemed an age, plucking up the courage to get in....to immerse myself totally in the splashing sensous warmth that I love. It took me at least 3 hours from start to finish to put my first big toe in the water. It was pure bliss.

I am not sure how this happened or why today, I think it has a lot to do with what I read on SR so thank you to every single one of you that post here. I feel that I am on my way back to being me again. I am also pleased to announce that I lost at least a pound in pummeling and scrubbing and all those nail clippings! (I must sound totally irresistible by now:>)

Don’t get me wrong, I have had a wash these past 4 months, but it was more of a cat wash. (I blame Marie) Thank you to all who are posting and all those who are just reading. I was afraid of joining SR in the beginning as I find it very hard to reach out into the unknown. I was afraid that I may come across as a bit crazy/weird but if truth be known, we are all very different yet so similar and I have learnt that on SR.

My brother is doing well so far, sober for 2 whole months now. After 2 failed marriages, losing endless jobs, multiple DUI’s, living on the streets, severe liver failure, he came home and got help. He now has a job for the first time in ages. My close family don’t know how bad I have been as they think I am the strong one. So to anyone reading right now, don’t be scared about sounding weird, opening up, saying exactly how you feel, because it will help you in the end.

What I found so hard is that I prefer to help than be helped so don't like to complain and want to say sorry all the time for doing so :> I like to listen quietly and smile and touch someone’s shoulder with understanding. But online, we can’t do that. This is the nearest you could possibly get to alternative recovery in a safe, friendly, diverse community. Thanks everyone.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:00 PM
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Hi Vall,
Reading what you wrote I see how it is for some of us, who prefer to remain silent about our own plight while attending to that of others who are in need. I suppose it makes us feel good to know we're of some good to someone. And there's truth and goodness in that, in giving of ourselves to others. Lest we forget to take care of ourselves. We can't be much good to others when we're so sick ourselves. And yet, isn't it so much easier to care for others than ourselves?
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:31 PM
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That's nice Vall,if you ever need somebody to talk to you know where I am :-)
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:31 PM
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Awesome post Vall. I'm so happy to hear that you are starting to feel better. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:43 PM
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((Vall)) Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so happy you're feeling better and SR could help you in some way. I'm sure your post will help others as well.



Best Wishes To You!
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Old 09-27-2012, 01:55 PM
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That was really nice Vall, thanks. I'm glad you and your brother are doing well.
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:12 PM
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Thank you everyonex

Reading back I sound a bit like a Neanderthal :>

(a clean shaven one)
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:24 PM
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hi Val glad your doing better
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Old 09-27-2012, 02:50 PM
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Vall... Your writing today was beautiful and warm. Clearly written from a more realxed and thoughtful perspective. One that escapes us when drinking.

I have a claw foot tub in my Victorian home. Baths are truly a delight aren't they?

Look forward to hearing more about how you are settling into things.

I am happy for you.

Ken
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:07 PM
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A claw foot tub Ken, really?....aaaahhh bliss.... Bubbles?

Thank you jessd :>
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:26 PM
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Nice post. I took a bath about 20 years ago. May try again someday. You're always so supportive and its not so bad to be supported. Ultimately we need to be our own best friend. Each of us is together with ourselves from beginning to end.
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:33 PM
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lol 20 years - you have a hek of a lot of exfoiliating to do then dear Ken - do you realise that you could lose several pounds with one good back scrub?
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:44 PM
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Recovery is so amazing! Thanks for your heartfelt, honest post, Vall. Great to hear of your successes.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Vall View Post
lol 20 years - you have a hek of a lot of exfoiliating to do then dear Fitz- do you realise that you could lose several pounds with one good back scrub?
OOPS correction - dear Fitz....
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:45 PM
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I was afraid that I may come across as a bit crazy/weird . . .
OMG! You came across this time as so crazy and weird! Now I know you will fit in here just perfectly!
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:48 PM
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Weird and crazy works for us

Your post made me laugh, and smile. So glad both you and your brother are doing well. Sometimes it's the little things that indicate the biggest progress. Getting back to normal things after a big loss can often be so hard, glad you were able to start to feel like you again.
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Old 09-27-2012, 04:52 PM
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Vall - I loved that. I felt much the same when I first came here. Opening up was so hard, but I've never been disappointed by the reactions I've received the times that I've been totally honest. It doesn't come easy for me, and I'm still learning - but being able to share with those who truly understand has meant the world to me, and helped me heal.

We're so glad you joined our community, and thank you for the contributions you've made so far. Good job on getting in the tub at long last.
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