lizloh

I am in need of some strength! It's easy to feel weak when you are having to plan out the logistics of your getaway on the fly. With no money. No place to live. Things ARE going to work out for me, though, and I have been dragging me feet but no more.
I went with a friend (male) to a concert back home (3 hour drive) and came back the next day. If course it's all on facebook, I've nothing to hide this is no romantic interest. My lying, deceitful AH has the nerve to tell me that I have been 'deceiving him via facebook' I almost choked on my milk.
I guess when you ARE a liar, and also trying to shift blame, it's easy to dream up crazy scenarios in your head.
I just feel 'calmly' overwhelmed and relieved this all came to a head because I will not save up the money for lawyer AND rent soon enough. I need to just let a friend do me a favor and stay a month for free or at least owing.
Please tell me there's hope. This is so much to deal with on top of actually grieving my losses (home, dogs, sanity potentially with this divorce and being fearful of not getting anything due to technicalities and loopholes)
I'm just going to wing it.... I guess. Wah!

lizloh

Oh then I started filling out paperwork with our laptop. He then takes it from me, into his bedroom where he says he will be 'using it all night'. I said you aren't going to bed? He says maybe at 5am (?!?hahahlol?!)
I had asked for his DL# and he refused. Now he is saying that he won't allow ME to turn in any paperwork to my lawyer (we are talking GENERAL INFO here) until he talks to a lawyer.
So frustrating because I have been TELLING HIM to please go get legal advice.
Will my brain even function after this crazy stress??

Fathom

I so know this craziness. I'm so sorry that you are in the thick of it. Take a deep breath, and then maybe a few more... Repeat the serenity prayer as though it were a lullaby. Try to get some rest (says the girl who is responding to you way past what should be her bedtime). Tomorrow, you can make some more progress. He has no control over whether you talk to a lawyer or not, just like you have no control over him. Give your lawyer any information that you know. Lawyers have ways of finding out the other stuff you don't know.

Many hugs,
Fathom

Seren

I'm so sorry Lizloh! Expecting rational behavior from a still active alcoholic is futile.

Him making accusations against you is actually pretty typical. Once the enabler finally decides to leave, I've seen many, many stories where the alcoholic 'pulls out all the stops' to keep up the confusion, to keep the enabler from leaving.

Just keep doing what you need to do. We are here with you all the way.

pattyG

Lizloh - YOU WILL MAKE IT!!! Take one day at a time, map out your steps. Can you get free legal aid thru services in your county? Have you looked into Vera House or another shelter for abused woman? Just because it isn't physical, it is abuse AND those organizations recognize that! They will help you with everything...including a place to live.

lizloh

Wow. Now he's threatening to cancel my insurance. Who did I marry?
He has also threatened to 'take steps' to transfer the assets. Unreal.
I should be glad he is making this 'easy' and not appealing to the Codie in me by acting super pathetic. Maybe that's coming. Waking up is the worst, I gotta get out of this place.