MycoolFitz

But I think some of the best kindest people I ever met were when I was in Psych ward and on SR. There is almost always a love and caring and understanding and acceptance I don't often experience other places where people are so full of themselves there is no room to let others in. I do think there is something to be said about there is a crack in every thing thats what lets the light get in. I think there are even gifts in my addiction. After numbing my heart for years it really opened. The trick now is to stay opened and sober.

pipparina

Fitz,
I have found that those that have suffered or are still suffering have the open heart to let others in. Living in NYC, it is at time hard to feel part of humanity here. Everyone in their Jimmy Choo heels or Armani suits, swaggering down the side walks.
Then I'll see an act of kindness that brings tears to my eyes. And you just know that person has had to battle something inside themselves in order to display their heart.

wpainterw

Yes, there is a fellowship of people who have suffered. And suffering is what it's all about when it comes to alcoholism. The loss of control, becoming a slave to a substance and being despised, or, worse, being pitied by society for your "weakness". Losing self respect. Losing friends. Or worse still, hurting others. Maybe having been responsible for an automobile accident in which someone is killed or having to see them in a wheel chair for the rest of their lives, with that look in their eyes.
The way to recover is to seek out those who have suffered the way you've suffered. Listen to them. They will listen to you. They will not pity you. From the wreckage of failure and suffering often spring the great tree of wisdom, compassion for others, understanding and love.

W.

2granddaughters

Yes, alcoholics and addicts are caring intelligent people but very sick. My friends in the psyche ward couldn't find the door any better than I could.

It became apparent to me that I needed encouragement but also, equally as important, I needed someone who could lead me out of my quagmire.... who knew the way to recovery.

I found both in AA.

All the best.

Bob R

onlythetruth

Well, one of the things I've noticed is that the sense of compassion and willingness to help others is not unique to people who have had addictions; it's actually an attribute of many folks who have gone through emotional trauma. People with severe mental illnesses, childhood traumas, economic crises, family tragedies, natural disasters, life in war zones or under dictatorships, and so forth. It is a compassion that comes from having looked either physical or emotional death in the face, knowing how vulnerable we humans really are.

Admiral

You can watch a war on TV or read about PTS in a book, but you will never understand or be able to truly be on the same level as a war veteran unless you were one yourself, why else is it so difficult for them to come back home? Part of it is the memories and trauma, but I think a lot of it is the fact that they have experienced a life changing event that the vast majority of the population has not, and never will, and therefore cannot relate to in any way. They can go to counseling and try to talk about it, but the sad truth is that most people just don't know how to respond, the exact same thing is true for addicts.

There is a certain ignorance, even arrogance if I may go so far, that is present in straight edge people. They don't get it and they never will unless it happens to them. I used to say that I preferred hanging out with users because they seemed way more chill and down to earth, where the straight edge people were all uptight and "didn't get it". You would think that mentality was just part of the addictive voice but I don't think so, there is some truth to that. To me there is a huge difference between those who used in the past but are now sober, and those who never used at all. Truth be told I don't really feel comfortable around straight edge people sometimes, it's like there's this huge part of my past that I have to step around to avoid glares or generalizations. Not all people who abstain are critical or harsh towards users, but even still there is always going to be that lack of understanding that makes it difficult, where with recovered addicts there is a certain degree of shared ground automatically.

MycoolFitz

I didn't mean they are the only good people. My best friend was straight as an arrow. military school graduate, non-drinker. But he had a heart of gold. he ended up on the wall in DC. I quess its about having an open mind and open heart. It doesn't have to mean soft or co-dependent. My PTSD therapist is ex DI who doesn't take my BS but he does take me. Lot of homeless here, I carry sandwiches and dog food (for their dogs). I guess I'm just saying some of the biggest minds and hearts I've known ended up in treatment. I did twice but ended up each time being like the client leader, now that's sick.