What happens now....AH Detox

Old 09-26-2012, 12:22 AM
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What happens now....AH Detox

Okay so AH has FINALLY understood he needs medical attention to dry out...
This is a gift from the heavens. I guess patience is a key in this puzzle. I made a boundary and it took months but it worked.

It is so true that there was nothing I could do to make him realize he needed medical help. He was "delusional" in thinking he could control the withdrawals and the seizure. Lying to me...or himself that the seizure that put him in the ER last time was not from withdrawals....he says he didn't stop drinking beforehand, which I know is a lie. He even said he didn't have a seizure.....wtf

He wouldn't hear me. I have never seen such denial!! I realized he was just too scared to admit to himself he couldn't control the physical part. He wanted NO information as to documented symptoms and effects of withdrawal..NOTHING could be said to him about it. He was delusional.

I was MISERABLE knowing he could die this time...and stuck between having my boundary that I would not be here to watch him if he did it on his own. Could I really not be here with him to call an ambulance at the 24 hour mark?

It was a weird struggle....knowing that he wanted to do what he should and stop drinking, but unable to make peace with how.

He stopped drinking whiskey on his own, but the 15+ beers a day were unavoidable. It wasn't until a recovered friend challenged him to not drink a until a certain time of day that AH realized he couldn't do it physically.

SO this morning he decided to call a hospital (oddly enough I dreamt he died last night), but we aren't insured so options are limited. The only free detox is apparently a "nightmare" as he has heard from his group therapy peers....a cot in a room filled with cots. etc

Anyways, I am cautiously optimistic.....a little skeptical in many ways that this is actually going to happen. However, I need to know what happens now......I mean I guess they clean him up for three days and then what? Just continue the AA and therapy?

Is there anything as a spouse I should know for when he comes back home after only 3 days of drying out?


I know it sounds stupid to ask these questions...but they are for MY benefit not his. I have walked blindly into a lot of these alcohol/health issues and need to be aware of what happens for my sake and DD.

I am not asking specific medical advice. I will speak with a dr., but just wondering if there were any miscellaneous things that could be added from viewpoint of spouse.
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Old 09-26-2012, 03:55 AM
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Detox, in my only experience, lasted a week plus. It wasn't until day 3 in the hospital when my stepson's delirium tremens began (hallucinations). He was sedated through the part when seizures were likely to occur, then gradually taken off of the sedation.

Once your husband has detoxed, then the real work begins. If he is not committed to some sort of plan or program to not drink, he may start again fairly soon. It's up to him to decide what he wants to do, and it's up to him to do it.

If it were me, now would be the time when I would make sure my boundaries were firmly in place. Perhaps a conversation when he gets home about what you are and are not willing to put up with?

I hope you can get some rest while he is out of the house. Please take care of yourself.
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Old 09-26-2012, 10:47 AM
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My husband was an alcoholic who was using benzos to control DTs while he was at work during the day. He was in detox for 12 days. He has said the first four days were really really rough.

In my experience, communication was very limited while he was in detox. He was allowed visitors twice a week (I only went once a week) and he was allowed phone calls twice a week. We hashed out a lot of things the first time I went to see him about how things would be when he got out.

I will say if he can only do a three day program, you're going to want to discuss with doctors what kind of treatment they may continue when he gets home. One of the reasons my husband was kept in detox so long (as many others are) is they had him on benzos to control the withdrawal symptoms, and those have to be carefully distributed and weaned from their system to prevent other withdrawal or making the detox worse.
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