Girlfriend of an A
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Clarksburg, Ohio
Posts: 3
Girlfriend of an A
My A drinks everyday says he works for it so its okay for him to have a few which is like 6 or more yesterday he drank a 12 pack in like 3 hours he said and I quote "Im giving advice . Don't **** with me tonight. At all. Ok" "I mean it" he didnt eat and im all his kids have thats stable. I just dont know what to do!
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Welcome to SR as I see that this is your first post! 
You'll find lots of experience, strength, hope and support here.
First, I encourage you to read the stickies at the top of this Forum's threads. Also, see if you can spot yourself when you read the thread below, the two codependency stickies, and the 10 Ways Family members can help sticky in the F&F of Substance Abusers Forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-us-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dependent.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Second, I encourage you to go to at least six Al-Anon meetings, preferably at different groups. I have found it to be a lifesaver for those of us who are or have been in a relationship with an alcoholic.
Third, set a boundary against the kind of talk or behavior you recited above. Al-Anon, a sponsor, literature and members, as well as people here on SR, will help you in learning to set boundaries. A boundary can be walking away when he talks to you like that. Or, saying I will not talk to the alcohol but I will talk to you, the person I love, later. Or saying, that was not acceptable so I will be at my own place until I sort things out. Or, I'm leaving you and the kids are at risk with you right now. Or, just leaving and calling CPS or the police for their and both of your well-beings. Etc. Etc. You will have to decide the boundary that is right for you.
The alcoholic must bear the consequences of his behavior. Anything else is "enabling" as described so well here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-our-part.html
I wish you the best. Keep coming back, reading and posting. Keep us in the loop!
You'll find lots of experience, strength, hope and support here.First, I encourage you to read the stickies at the top of this Forum's threads. Also, see if you can spot yourself when you read the thread below, the two codependency stickies, and the 10 Ways Family members can help sticky in the F&F of Substance Abusers Forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...st-us-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dependent.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Second, I encourage you to go to at least six Al-Anon meetings, preferably at different groups. I have found it to be a lifesaver for those of us who are or have been in a relationship with an alcoholic.
Third, set a boundary against the kind of talk or behavior you recited above. Al-Anon, a sponsor, literature and members, as well as people here on SR, will help you in learning to set boundaries. A boundary can be walking away when he talks to you like that. Or, saying I will not talk to the alcohol but I will talk to you, the person I love, later. Or saying, that was not acceptable so I will be at my own place until I sort things out. Or, I'm leaving you and the kids are at risk with you right now. Or, just leaving and calling CPS or the police for their and both of your well-beings. Etc. Etc. You will have to decide the boundary that is right for you.
The alcoholic must bear the consequences of his behavior. Anything else is "enabling" as described so well here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-our-part.html
I wish you the best. Keep coming back, reading and posting. Keep us in the loop!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Clarksburg, Ohio
Posts: 3
I been keeping a journal type blog on my profile I read that its a good stress reliever but I am proud to say yesterday he didnt drink at all I know its the begining but its a start I just hope he keeps at it because he is a good man he did for the first time ever admit he has a problem maybe he is seeing hisself after he realised both his boys where paying attention I dont know but for once I have hope I also made sure he understood I wont allow him to put the blame on me or the kids anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Clarksburg, Ohio
Posts: 3
I know if he does fall back to beer its going to be hard but im putting my children and myself first from now on im looking for open meetings just not sure how to find them im not from around here so its kinda different not knowing anyone
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
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Originally Posted by Schnitzer 
I know if he does fall back to beer its going to be hard but im putting my children and myself first from now on im looking for open meetings just not sure how to find them im not from around here so its kinda different not knowing anyone
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