Newcomer here - day 4 and stuck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 24
Newcomer here - day 4 and stuck!
Hi everyone -- I found the courage to attempt sobriety again from this forum, so a huge thank you. I'm currently on day 4 of no drinking, but I'm a little lost as to how to continue.
I'm 23 and usually feel out of place in forums or the AA meetings I've attended because I'm young. Is there anyone here who also began their recovery at a young age and wouldn't mind giving me some pointers? However, any and all advice is appreciated either way.
ETA:
I think I should explain my story as well. I started drinking in high school, but it was never a regular occurrence. My drinking picked up when I began college, and before I turned 21 I was blacking out on a regular basis. Once I lived on my own, I was drinking just because I could. For the past two years now, my drinking has increased tremendously, and I've lost my best friends because of it.
I'm a small female, and my drinking habit was somewhere between 9-12 beers or a bottle of wine every other day. I finally want to quit for real this time.
I'm 23 and usually feel out of place in forums or the AA meetings I've attended because I'm young. Is there anyone here who also began their recovery at a young age and wouldn't mind giving me some pointers? However, any and all advice is appreciated either way.
ETA:
I think I should explain my story as well. I started drinking in high school, but it was never a regular occurrence. My drinking picked up when I began college, and before I turned 21 I was blacking out on a regular basis. Once I lived on my own, I was drinking just because I could. For the past two years now, my drinking has increased tremendously, and I've lost my best friends because of it.
I'm a small female, and my drinking habit was somewhere between 9-12 beers or a bottle of wine every other day. I finally want to quit for real this time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
Are there any groups in your area that work with substance abuse amongst youths? I know that 23 seems a little 'old' but you might find yourself working with people more on your level. I'm 29 and I definitely appreciate what you say when I tried the AA, most of the people I came into contact with were retired and in different life circumstances. Meetup.com sometimes has groups that involve addiction problems, or better yet try a halfway home and just ask if they are doing any groups.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Hello and welcome to SR. This is a fantastic source of support and I'm glad you're here.
I'm 24 and I'm sober. I used to think it was unusual for someone our age to realise they had a problem with alcohol and do something about it, but it actually isn't that unusual at all. You won't feel out of place here - there are lots of us under 30s posting.
Congratulations on making the decision to be sober and for those 4 days. A little lost on how to continue in what way? If you're after methods or programs - AA is the obvious one, but there are many more around, too. I use AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique), and more information on that can be found by searching for it in Google or reading the threads in our secular connections board on this forum... there is also SMART, and many more. SR is a great place to start - there's so much information here and lots of wonderful people who are more than happy to share their own experiences and help in any way possible.
Stay strong and keep going, never stop believing in yourself
Wishing you all the best x
I'm 24 and I'm sober. I used to think it was unusual for someone our age to realise they had a problem with alcohol and do something about it, but it actually isn't that unusual at all. You won't feel out of place here - there are lots of us under 30s posting.
Congratulations on making the decision to be sober and for those 4 days. A little lost on how to continue in what way? If you're after methods or programs - AA is the obvious one, but there are many more around, too. I use AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique), and more information on that can be found by searching for it in Google or reading the threads in our secular connections board on this forum... there is also SMART, and many more. SR is a great place to start - there's so much information here and lots of wonderful people who are more than happy to share their own experiences and help in any way possible.
Stay strong and keep going, never stop believing in yourself
Wishing you all the best x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome to SR StrictScrutiny
I was twice your age when I sobered up - but SR has been a great help to me...it's been vital really.
There are other options tho and I think it's important to explore them all.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, too...
D
I was twice your age when I sobered up - but SR has been a great help to me...it's been vital really.
There are other options tho and I think it's important to explore them all.
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players (including but not limited to AA):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, too...
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome SS! Congratulations on having the desire to change your life.
Unfortunately, I was way older when I finally found the courage to stop destroying myself. I found it here at SR - and I never left. I'm sure some younger members will relate to what you're going through. Keep reading and posting.
Unfortunately, I was way older when I finally found the courage to stop destroying myself. I found it here at SR - and I never left. I'm sure some younger members will relate to what you're going through. Keep reading and posting.
rebmeM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Airports, and hotel rooms
Posts: 34
Alcoholism is a disease that doesn't care how old or young you are. You are wise beyond your years to seek help. I am 34, and I should have given this up years ago, but I was blind to the fact that I had an escalating problem. That is why I am here. I am 2 days sober, and owe a lot of my strength to the people of this site. I'm hoping I can stay strong, and I know if I am feeling weak, this site is here.
Welcome!
Welcome!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome StrictScrutiny!
Congratulations on your 4 days sober! I think you'll find that a good number of people here are in your age group. You might try a different meeting, too. I know in my area, each group is different and some have lots of younger people while others don't.
The thing about alcoholism is that, regardless of age, our stories are really similar. Glad you're here - keep reading and posting!
Congratulations on your 4 days sober! I think you'll find that a good number of people here are in your age group. You might try a different meeting, too. I know in my area, each group is different and some have lots of younger people while others don't.
The thing about alcoholism is that, regardless of age, our stories are really similar. Glad you're here - keep reading and posting!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 24
Thanks all! I'm stuck for a couple of reasons, but mostly because I don't have any sober friends and I'm in law school. Law school doesn't exactly breed sobriety. I'm interested in alternatives to AA, but there don't seem to be any meetings in my area that I could attend regularly.
Has anyone found it difficult to give up control? I have always tried to be self-sufficient, and giving up control to a higher power is difficult and feels uncomfortable to me. I'm also dreading (for lack of a better word) telling people I'm in the process of getting sober, especially my family. Any advice?
Has anyone found it difficult to give up control? I have always tried to be self-sufficient, and giving up control to a higher power is difficult and feels uncomfortable to me. I'm also dreading (for lack of a better word) telling people I'm in the process of getting sober, especially my family. Any advice?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
I'm the opposite, StrictScrutiny... instead of giving up control, I took control... but we're all different on that here - different ways of getting sober require different things.
For now... try not to focus on what to tell family and friends... you can tell them anything - for a long while I just said that I'd had enough of drinking. I still haven't gone into huge details with anyone but my husband - I don't feel the need to and not many people have asked me.
For now... try not to focus on what to tell family and friends... you can tell them anything - for a long while I just said that I'd had enough of drinking. I still haven't gone into huge details with anyone but my husband - I don't feel the need to and not many people have asked me.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
The one thing about the higher power thing, is some people really focus way to much on all the different dynamics.. Dont complicate things..
Can you simply look inside yourself, and say there is a bigger than me...
I know many people that it took years to get the "god" thing in AA. In fact one gave a lead tonight and he has 20 years now..
But whatever path you choose, do it like your life depends on it. Because you can stop this early and enjoy a long life without all the sh** most of us put us and our loved ones through..
Can you simply look inside yourself, and say there is a bigger than me...
I know many people that it took years to get the "god" thing in AA. In fact one gave a lead tonight and he has 20 years now..
But whatever path you choose, do it like your life depends on it. Because you can stop this early and enjoy a long life without all the sh** most of us put us and our loved ones through..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 111
Originally Posted by StrictScrutiny 
I'm stuck for a couple of reasons, but mostly because I don't have any sober friends
I'm also dreading (for lack of a better word) telling people I'm in the process of getting sober, especially my family. Any advice?
I'm also dreading (for lack of a better word) telling people I'm in the process of getting sober, especially my family. Any advice?
I don't have one sober friend. Before I went to my first AA meeting earlier today, I took a look at each of my friends, and realized they all have their vices. Pills, weed, alcohol.
And yes, when I told them about my DUI and that I was attending AA, I got chuckled at. They're like "GEEZE WHY CAN'T YOU BE A SMART ADDICT LIKE ME!?" I've seen them all blacked out, I've seen them all drink/high and drive, and I've seen them all make a damn fool of themselves. But acknowledging *I* don't want that life anymore makes me "weak".
Anyway, worry about yourself. Don't let their opinions detour you. Hopefully they're supportive.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Co Durham UK
Posts: 6
Hi i feel the same way as you im just onto day 6 today and it feels every day is getting harder, yesterday i even bought in a bottle of vodka as i was panicking i couldnt last the day, i did, but it was very hard and today im feeling again like i want to drink!
I have been to 3 AA meetings, the first was awful and i didnt fit at all, the second i plucked up the courage to talk to people as i dont really like to much with out a drink as i struggle with meeting new people, and the third i wasnt going to go but pushed myself. Im 32 years old and some were old some were my age, i dont know if i can do this but i know im trying and i know if i did weaken and i drank i cant beat myself up, because i am trying my very best and you need to remember that too.
We are only human and when something so powerful as alcohol gets hold you are fighting a battle that could go either way, you just ave to wank it i guess, im still trying to work out if i do, or not.....
I have been to 3 AA meetings, the first was awful and i didnt fit at all, the second i plucked up the courage to talk to people as i dont really like to much with out a drink as i struggle with meeting new people, and the third i wasnt going to go but pushed myself. Im 32 years old and some were old some were my age, i dont know if i can do this but i know im trying and i know if i did weaken and i drank i cant beat myself up, because i am trying my very best and you need to remember that too.
We are only human and when something so powerful as alcohol gets hold you are fighting a battle that could go either way, you just ave to wank it i guess, im still trying to work out if i do, or not.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by StrictScrutiny
I'm 23 and usually feel out of place in forums or the AA meetings I've attended because I'm young. Is there anyone here who also began their recovery at a young age and wouldn't mind giving me some pointers? However, any and all advice is appreciated either way.
I knew I was an alcoholic at 23 but I stayed out until I was 45.. broken and suicidal. I do not recommend that !!!
Your choice. All the best.
Bob R
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
I think you have found that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop, so I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life.
There are many young people on SR and there is always inspiration here, too.
I think you have found that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop, so I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life.
There are many young people on SR and there is always inspiration here, too.
Saved By Grace
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
I'm 27 now and 7 days sober. I first tried AA around age 24-25 mainly because I fell into drug addiction. They say that a lot of younger ppl find themselves in AA/NA because of drugs and it was certainly the case with me. Anyways years later, and more destruction and regret, and barely surviving I got 60 days a few months back and then relapsed and went on a run that nearly killed me and bankrupted me financially. Now this is my third time trying AA and this time I think it will work because I now know I must really guard my sobriety and watch out for normies and young people that are like, "your young! surely your not an alcoholic, thats ridiculous!"
When you get sober as a young adult your peers may try to convince you that you have misjudged yourself, that you don't have a problem, and you just need to "relax" or "cut back." I've learned that peer pressure & being afraid to admit I was a drug addict/alcoholic to attractive females or guys I want to be my friends = relapse for me because I just want to fit in and I'm insecure and don't want to have the stigma of being an addict and all that comes with it. Be on guard, and be aware that there will be times when people (especially young people) will try and convince you that you don't have a problem. (lies)
When you get sober as a young adult your peers may try to convince you that you have misjudged yourself, that you don't have a problem, and you just need to "relax" or "cut back." I've learned that peer pressure & being afraid to admit I was a drug addict/alcoholic to attractive females or guys I want to be my friends = relapse for me because I just want to fit in and I'm insecure and don't want to have the stigma of being an addict and all that comes with it. Be on guard, and be aware that there will be times when people (especially young people) will try and convince you that you don't have a problem. (lies)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
Hi welcome to SR.
Many of the alternative ways to be recovered from addiction/alcoholism to AA don't have meetings or there are few meetings to attend.
SMART Recovery has the most meetings I think. I utilize resources from various sources that help me stay on my wellness journey. Programs like Women for Sobriety, SOS, LifeRing, SMART, CBT, Urge Surfing, DBT and AVRT all offer a way to be recovered from addiction or from drinking to much John Barleycorn.
I'm an atheist AA member, so there is nothing to give my control over to. What do I do then? The best answer is: I do what other atheist/agnostics have done to be recovered in AA. I have a Higher Power that is of my secular understanding. That power being GOOD or working to reach my Higher potential (my HP). My higher power is not me but my capacity to do a greater GOOD than I'm doing now. My alcoholism recovery is more that putting down the drink. Its about a total transformation of my psyche and behavior for the GOOD . And there plenty of ways to do what I'm doing, AA or not .
Originally Posted by StrictScrutiny
I'm interested in alternatives to AA, but there don't seem to be any meetings in my area that I could attend regularly.
SMART Recovery has the most meetings I think. I utilize resources from various sources that help me stay on my wellness journey. Programs like Women for Sobriety, SOS, LifeRing, SMART, CBT, Urge Surfing, DBT and AVRT all offer a way to be recovered from addiction or from drinking to much John Barleycorn.
Originally Posted by StrictScrutiny
Has anyone found it difficult to give up control? I have always tried to be self-sufficient, and giving up control to a higher power is difficult and feels uncomfortable to me.
. And there plenty of ways to do what I'm doing, AA or not .
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