Sister of alcoholic brother
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 8
Sister of alcoholic brother
Hello, I am new here. I guess I'll start with my story.
My brother who is almost 40, is an alcoholic. I "think" he's been drinking for 15+ years, although it's hard to say because at first he was very good at hiding it. He's had at least 3 DUI's, suspended license, served in prison for 6 months. The prison term was about 2 years ago. He was sober for a few months after he got out, but he's back to drinking. He's single and disappears for months at a time. He is broke, I think at one point he lived in his car. My parents are enablers, always taking him back, providing food and shelter, money etc. My father suffered a stroke, and I believe it to be partly due to the stress. My mother has anxiety issues. My father thinks my brother can just stop drinking if he really wanted to, and blames him for not wanting to (I know, crazy...I've had many fights with him about it - it's like HE doesn't want to admit his son is an alcoholic). My father has also been verbally abusive to my brother. My brother, in addition to drinking, is a habitual liar. We're dealing with a myriad of issues.
Just recently my mother told my brother finally admitted he needs help. She told him to sign up for AA which he said he already tried it and didn't work -- he needs to go into a rehab facility but he cannot afford it. I think this is a great step, although it does not guarantee that he'll ever admit he has issues to me. we'll see.
Which leads me to my questions. Is he finally ready for recovery? I thought he's hit rock bottom many times ago but he always goes back to drinking. Second, what is the cost of rehab, and how can I get him in there? we are near Chicago, IL.
Any info would be greatly appreciated.
My brother who is almost 40, is an alcoholic. I "think" he's been drinking for 15+ years, although it's hard to say because at first he was very good at hiding it. He's had at least 3 DUI's, suspended license, served in prison for 6 months. The prison term was about 2 years ago. He was sober for a few months after he got out, but he's back to drinking. He's single and disappears for months at a time. He is broke, I think at one point he lived in his car. My parents are enablers, always taking him back, providing food and shelter, money etc. My father suffered a stroke, and I believe it to be partly due to the stress. My mother has anxiety issues. My father thinks my brother can just stop drinking if he really wanted to, and blames him for not wanting to (I know, crazy...I've had many fights with him about it - it's like HE doesn't want to admit his son is an alcoholic). My father has also been verbally abusive to my brother. My brother, in addition to drinking, is a habitual liar. We're dealing with a myriad of issues.
Just recently my mother told my brother finally admitted he needs help. She told him to sign up for AA which he said he already tried it and didn't work -- he needs to go into a rehab facility but he cannot afford it. I think this is a great step, although it does not guarantee that he'll ever admit he has issues to me. we'll see.
Which leads me to my questions. Is he finally ready for recovery? I thought he's hit rock bottom many times ago but he always goes back to drinking. Second, what is the cost of rehab, and how can I get him in there? we are near Chicago, IL.
Any info would be greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
Hi Megan --
It's expensive. Is he covered by any insurance at all? There are a ton of resources in Chicago. There is, for example, a subsidiary of Hazelden in Chicago. You can call around to see what your options are for price points, but if your brother is ready for this he should be the one doing the footwork.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
It's expensive. Is he covered by any insurance at all? There are a ton of resources in Chicago. There is, for example, a subsidiary of Hazelden in Chicago. You can call around to see what your options are for price points, but if your brother is ready for this he should be the one doing the footwork.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
We would all love a crystal ball, but there's no way to know if he is ready for recovery, he probably doesn't even know for sure even if he admits he has a problem. Replapse is far more common than continued sobriety. He may believe 100% that he is ready to be sober, only to fall off the wagon again and again.
so nobody can answer your question of whether he is finally ready for recovery, not even the alcoholic brother. Only time will tell.
If he is broke he can go to the Salvation Army and they may admit him free of charge. Rehabs can vary immensely in what they charge.
There is a sticky at the top of the page that is how we can help an alcoholic. You might want to start by reading that and the other stickies at the top.
Your dad is right--your brother can stop drinking if he really wants to. He just has to want to- more than anything else in life.
so nobody can answer your question of whether he is finally ready for recovery, not even the alcoholic brother. Only time will tell.
If he is broke he can go to the Salvation Army and they may admit him free of charge. Rehabs can vary immensely in what they charge.
There is a sticky at the top of the page that is how we can help an alcoholic. You might want to start by reading that and the other stickies at the top.
Your dad is right--your brother can stop drinking if he really wants to. He just has to want to- more than anything else in life.
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