new and broken hearted
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
new and broken hearted
hello - I have been reading a lot on here for months and have read the wonderful stickies that you make available. I have learned so much.
My ABF - who binge drinks, every month or so....he starts Friday and goes until Sunday - hides bottles, drinks, sleeps and eats (occassionally eats)
I finally had enough and gave him an ultimatum - get help with proof of attending for help or go.
He has chosen to go - his mom just informed me that he just called her and asked her to help him move. None of us (his family and I) have no clue as to where he is going. His family is worried about him - he has been down this road before (he is 43, cancer survivor etc)
Problem is --- I love him so very much. My heart has been torn out.
He is choosing the bottle over me...
How do you heal the pain?
My ABF - who binge drinks, every month or so....he starts Friday and goes until Sunday - hides bottles, drinks, sleeps and eats (occassionally eats)
I finally had enough and gave him an ultimatum - get help with proof of attending for help or go.
He has chosen to go - his mom just informed me that he just called her and asked her to help him move. None of us (his family and I) have no clue as to where he is going. His family is worried about him - he has been down this road before (he is 43, cancer survivor etc)
Problem is --- I love him so very much. My heart has been torn out.
He is choosing the bottle over me...
How do you heal the pain?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 134
You have to keep in mind that the bottle chooses them, they feel like they have no choice. Someone told me when i was dealing with the same thing, imagine and A;s brain. 98% is thinking about the addiction ALL THE TIME!! The other 2% thinks about other stuff, including love. What side do you think will win? They are not capable of normal relationships and normal ways of how to give or make good choices when using. Only when they have had enough and are ready to move forward on there own and been sober, can they then think about others. A's are EXTREMLY selfish people, they only use love ones to feed there addiction or hide there addictions from. I know it is a hard pill to swallow, but i should know. I was with one for 6 years 
He wanted to be with me but he always choose the bottle over me. It just got to hard. Hand in there...ITS A VERY long road to recovery for him and its up to you to decided if you have had enough.
He wanted to be with me but he always choose the bottle over me. It just got to hard. Hand in there...ITS A VERY long road to recovery for him and its up to you to decided if you have had enough.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Austin
Posts: 31
Welcome to SR Jewelz....
I understand the pain and hurt you are going through.
I too have had my heart ripped out and stomped on; Know that you're not alone in your pain.
The alcoholic will only think of one thing, and that's alcohol. Nothing will stop him/her in their pursuit until they WANT to stop and change, and that's something I had to give up to my Higher Power.
It does not make you less of a person, it doesn't mean you were bad/not good enough/etc. You did NOT cause it, You cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
Keep posting as much as you want, you'll soon find that most of us, if not all, can relate to you on some level.
Know that this too shall pass.
-jb
I understand the pain and hurt you are going through.
I too have had my heart ripped out and stomped on; Know that you're not alone in your pain.
The alcoholic will only think of one thing, and that's alcohol. Nothing will stop him/her in their pursuit until they WANT to stop and change, and that's something I had to give up to my Higher Power.
It does not make you less of a person, it doesn't mean you were bad/not good enough/etc. You did NOT cause it, You cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
Keep posting as much as you want, you'll soon find that most of us, if not all, can relate to you on some level.
Know that this too shall pass.
-jb
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
Hi,
I am so sorry about what you are going through. I broke up with my abf almost 3 months ago. The pain in the beginning is awful, but it does get better over time. I still care for him but my life is so much calmer now, I feel more productive now that I am not constantly worried about his drinking or when the next emotional outburst will be. The relationship was very painful for me especially at the end.
Letting go is difficult, but you can't do anything to stop him drinking and you can't live your life with him the way he is now. I know it hurts but you will feel better someday soon, I promise!
I am so sorry about what you are going through. I broke up with my abf almost 3 months ago. The pain in the beginning is awful, but it does get better over time. I still care for him but my life is so much calmer now, I feel more productive now that I am not constantly worried about his drinking or when the next emotional outburst will be. The relationship was very painful for me especially at the end.
Letting go is difficult, but you can't do anything to stop him drinking and you can't live your life with him the way he is now. I know it hurts but you will feel better someday soon, I promise!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
