Losing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 14
Losing.
Hey all. I am new to this site and today is my first day being sober of alcohol. Here is my story...
I am a 25 year old and just got married in June. I've "known" that I am alcoholic for about 2 years, and have "tried" to stop for about year on my own. I finally had the courage to tell my new husband that I have a problem on Labor Day weekend. He is the only one that knows. Although, I would assume others do know and just don't say anything... not sure. It has completely ruined my life. I have no idea who I am anymore. I used to be so driven, successful, and athletic. Now I am just getting by- most of the time drunk. I drunk most hours of the day. Vodka and red wine are my vices. I have woken up and drake before work, drank on my "lunch break", and then come home and drink before my husband gets home while I sloppily make dinner. I was getting really sneaky and most of the time he didn't know. When I know we are going to dinner, I secretely drink in my closet (literally) and then get drinks at dinner. I can't remember the last time I actually enjoyed a great dinner and not blacked out. It is effecting my relationships, motivation, marraige, and work. I know you can't be drunk at work, but I somehow think it is ok to do? Crazy!
Anytime I have tried to quit, I start getting horrible withdrawls. I always assumed it was from alcohol, but was not positive until doing some Google research. After Labor Day, I was doing really well (1 week sober) and was waking up with extreme sweats and hot then cold. My day to day attitude was better and my marriage was better. Then came college football gameday. Not a great environment for someone trying to get sober from alcohol. Then the episode started of binge drinking for 5 days. My husband was confused and upset and I was extremely hungover and ashamed. I want this to stop. I want to live to have a happy marriage, a family, and a healthy life. I love my husband more than anything and he is so supportive. I need help!! Any support or advice is greatly appreciated. This is going to be one heck of a journey....
I am a 25 year old and just got married in June. I've "known" that I am alcoholic for about 2 years, and have "tried" to stop for about year on my own. I finally had the courage to tell my new husband that I have a problem on Labor Day weekend. He is the only one that knows. Although, I would assume others do know and just don't say anything... not sure. It has completely ruined my life. I have no idea who I am anymore. I used to be so driven, successful, and athletic. Now I am just getting by- most of the time drunk. I drunk most hours of the day. Vodka and red wine are my vices. I have woken up and drake before work, drank on my "lunch break", and then come home and drink before my husband gets home while I sloppily make dinner. I was getting really sneaky and most of the time he didn't know. When I know we are going to dinner, I secretely drink in my closet (literally) and then get drinks at dinner. I can't remember the last time I actually enjoyed a great dinner and not blacked out. It is effecting my relationships, motivation, marraige, and work. I know you can't be drunk at work, but I somehow think it is ok to do? Crazy!
Anytime I have tried to quit, I start getting horrible withdrawls. I always assumed it was from alcohol, but was not positive until doing some Google research. After Labor Day, I was doing really well (1 week sober) and was waking up with extreme sweats and hot then cold. My day to day attitude was better and my marriage was better. Then came college football gameday. Not a great environment for someone trying to get sober from alcohol. Then the episode started of binge drinking for 5 days. My husband was confused and upset and I was extremely hungover and ashamed. I want this to stop. I want to live to have a happy marriage, a family, and a healthy life. I love my husband more than anything and he is so supportive. I need help!! Any support or advice is greatly appreciated. This is going to be one heck of a journey....
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
welcome to SR, ginger! football season may be a tough season to get sober but we can all fin excuses any time of the year to drink. what you have to do now is look at all the excuses not to drink. fill your head with them and let them overflow you when those urges come. remove yourself from the situations when you have to. take a timeout and go gather yourself if that's what it takes. i know i've had to do that many a time i've been around people drinking. have you considered AA? i found a ton of support through those doors and it saved my life. you've made the tough decision to get sober, now you've gotta do the tough work to follow that sober path. it's an hour by hour, day by day process.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 108
Seems as though you have already accepted that a problem exists, and you have shared it with your spouse. I congratulate you on facing it rather than running from it. Have you decided for sure that you need to make a change? You cannot be happy living like that.
Withdrawals suck bad, as most of us know well. You should go get a check up and share with your doctor. I did that as a first step and do not regret it. After you get that professional advice, then decide what you are going to do next. Take it easy on yourself and take it one step at a time.
Withdrawals suck bad, as most of us know well. You should go get a check up and share with your doctor. I did that as a first step and do not regret it. After you get that professional advice, then decide what you are going to do next. Take it easy on yourself and take it one step at a time.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome!
It seems that you have made the decision to stop drinking, and got caught up in continuing old routines. The hard part of recovery is that many choices must be made to help you recover. I couldn't be around alcohol or people drinking for a long time. I hope that you forgive yourself and move on.
It seems that you have made the decision to stop drinking, and got caught up in continuing old routines. The hard part of recovery is that many choices must be made to help you recover. I couldn't be around alcohol or people drinking for a long time. I hope that you forgive yourself and move on.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Ginger, I envy you. I had the same drinking habits when I was 25. I didn't have the courage to address them then, and my life became drama filled chaos. I wasted so many precious years trying to control what I drank - never once thought I had to give it up all together. I couldn't seem to admit that it was no longer fun and was only bringing me misery.
You won't have to go through the hell so many of us have - you can reclaim your life now and turn it all around. It's great to have you here. Please keep reading and posting.
You won't have to go through the hell so many of us have - you can reclaim your life now and turn it all around. It's great to have you here. Please keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 14
Thank you all for your responses. I have a feeling this is going to be a great place for me to turn to. I read my first post out load to my husband and began hysterically crying out of shame, seeing the sadness in his eyes, and the realization that this is real. I have in the past been able to have a glass or two at dinner, BUT I don't think I will every be able to do that again. My husband is out now getting my coconut water and vitamins to help my health come back. I want to feel and look pretty again. My face is puffy and red and I just want to be myself again. I plan on writing daily updates, as I think it will help my healing process. As, for AA, I am not sure if I have the courage yet, but I know it is a necessity for recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR Ginger....God...I remember drinking at work just to keep me from shaking....Needless to say that job didn't last. I also use AA....And I don't think anybody goes to their first meeting without fear...I was terrified to tell you the truth...I also met some of the nicest people I've met in my life. Alcoholics that don't drink. This is a good site you can take a look at....They cover what meetings are all about and have some good advice about fear. Glad you are here.
Your First AA Meeting<
Your First AA Meeting<
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, ginger!
It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth about our drinking. I hid my drinking, too, and kept promising myself I'd do better "next time," but I just couldn't stop drinking on my own. I found this forum when I was in despair and it gave me the first tiny bit of hope I'd had in a long time.
We have an addiction that is progressive. We're not bad people, just one of 8-10% of the population affected by alcoholism. We need help to get well.
Keep reading and posting - there really is life after drinking (and it's gets better and better as you go!)
It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth about our drinking. I hid my drinking, too, and kept promising myself I'd do better "next time," but I just couldn't stop drinking on my own. I found this forum when I was in despair and it gave me the first tiny bit of hope I'd had in a long time.
We have an addiction that is progressive. We're not bad people, just one of 8-10% of the population affected by alcoholism. We need help to get well.
Keep reading and posting - there really is life after drinking (and it's gets better and better as you go!)
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
It takes a lot lot of courage to admit you have a problem with alcohol and are willing to do something meaningful about it. So you have more courage that you know.
As for recovering from addiction, there many ways to be recovered. I have a 'recovery skills toolbox' that includes AA Big Book Online Fourth Edition along with Women for Sobriety, SOS, LifeRing, SMART, CBT, Urge Surfing, DBT and AVRT as a wellness program.
As for recovering from addiction, there many ways to be recovered. I have a 'recovery skills toolbox' that includes AA Big Book Online Fourth Edition along with Women for Sobriety, SOS, LifeRing, SMART, CBT, Urge Surfing, DBT and AVRT as a wellness program.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 690
Ginger: That took a lot of courage to read this post to your husband. He sounds super supportive and that is great. I agree with what Hevyn said...I envy you to come to this conclusion and stop now at 25. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and wasted years...you can do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey there.Welcome to SR!
My heart goes out to you in your situation. Coming onto this site and admitting what is the hardest thing to admit is really scary. You did it though. The cat is out of the bag and you can now face this head on.
This beautiful life that you want to live and that you deserve to live is waiting for you. A few small steps and some diligence will get things moving right. AA is scary for the first 3 minutes that you walk in the door. The fear is in the not knowing. The room will be filled with people that have had or currently do have a problem with Alcohol. If you find that AA is not your cup of tea, check out other recovery options.
Please stick around. Please keep posting. We are all here for you and please know that you my friend are not alone.
Once again Welcome!
My heart goes out to you in your situation. Coming onto this site and admitting what is the hardest thing to admit is really scary. You did it though. The cat is out of the bag and you can now face this head on.
This beautiful life that you want to live and that you deserve to live is waiting for you. A few small steps and some diligence will get things moving right. AA is scary for the first 3 minutes that you walk in the door. The fear is in the not knowing. The room will be filled with people that have had or currently do have a problem with Alcohol. If you find that AA is not your cup of tea, check out other recovery options.
Please stick around. Please keep posting. We are all here for you and please know that you my friend are not alone.
Once again Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
You have a lot of friends here now ginger...You're not alone. Here is a thread from people that are quitting this month. If you want to join them...Just say hello.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
glad your husband is on board, ginger! mine is very supportive as well. as far as being scared of AA, i think almost all of us were at our first meeting. give it a shot. you may find yourself very pleasantly surprised. i know i did.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR. You're in the right place. So much support and fantastic advice here.
I felt that, too. My sense of self was totally destroyed - I found no enjoyment in any of the things I thought I loved. Alcohol sucked my soul away.
I'm just over a week shy of six months sober and I want you to know that you CAN be sober and you CAN be the person you want to be. I am almost 25 so we are very close in age and I don't know about you, but I didn't want to spend my future drunk. The way I look at it, is that in 7 years time I will have been sober for the same period of time I was drunk, and I'll live the majority of my life sober, and you can too. You don't have to live this way any longer.
There are so many benefits to living a sober life - in six months I have changed so much - my soul is back and I've got my life back. You can have that, too. You just have to stop drinking. It's that simple. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's all you have to do. Once we convince ourselves that drinking is not an option, there is very little struggling involved.
Wishing you all the best. Please stick around and post lots, it really does help.
It has completely ruined my life. I have no idea who I am anymore.
I'm just over a week shy of six months sober and I want you to know that you CAN be sober and you CAN be the person you want to be. I am almost 25 so we are very close in age and I don't know about you, but I didn't want to spend my future drunk. The way I look at it, is that in 7 years time I will have been sober for the same period of time I was drunk, and I'll live the majority of my life sober, and you can too. You don't have to live this way any longer.
There are so many benefits to living a sober life - in six months I have changed so much - my soul is back and I've got my life back. You can have that, too. You just have to stop drinking. It's that simple. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's all you have to do. Once we convince ourselves that drinking is not an option, there is very little struggling involved.
Wishing you all the best. Please stick around and post lots, it really does help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 14
Day 2
Success! and it wasn't so bad. Last night my husband and I had a nice talk with my in laws, we drank hot tea on the couch and then off to bed. He dozed off immediately as I tossed and turned all night while sweating, shivering, sweating, shivering, etc. When I was getting some sleep, I had those weird dreams everyone keeps talking about. Very strange. Woke up for work with puffy eyes and swollen face and attempted to fix what I could with make up. Somewhat successful. Made my coffee and off to work. Once the coffee kicked in, it was so bad. A little fatigued, but nothing too bad. Left work and came STRAIGHT home. No "running errands" or "picking up something I forgot at the store". I am currently getting dinner ready and waiting on my husband to get home. Normally at this point in my day I'd be downing wine or vodka since I have an hour of being unsupervised. No real urges or anything. I know its day 2, but it wasn't so bad. After dinner we plan to play Scabble- again, that would usually involve a glass of wine for each of us, but little did he know, I had a few before him! I am not looking forward to the restless night and having weird dreams while sweating, but it sure is worth it when I think about this new life I am seeking. Yay for Day 2!
Success! and it wasn't so bad. Last night my husband and I had a nice talk with my in laws, we drank hot tea on the couch and then off to bed. He dozed off immediately as I tossed and turned all night while sweating, shivering, sweating, shivering, etc. When I was getting some sleep, I had those weird dreams everyone keeps talking about. Very strange. Woke up for work with puffy eyes and swollen face and attempted to fix what I could with make up. Somewhat successful. Made my coffee and off to work. Once the coffee kicked in, it was so bad. A little fatigued, but nothing too bad. Left work and came STRAIGHT home. No "running errands" or "picking up something I forgot at the store". I am currently getting dinner ready and waiting on my husband to get home. Normally at this point in my day I'd be downing wine or vodka since I have an hour of being unsupervised. No real urges or anything. I know its day 2, but it wasn't so bad. After dinner we plan to play Scabble- again, that would usually involve a glass of wine for each of us, but little did he know, I had a few before him! I am not looking forward to the restless night and having weird dreams while sweating, but it sure is worth it when I think about this new life I am seeking. Yay for Day 2!
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