Count

Been sober for about 3 months, but finding it hard to forget about my past drunken antics. Feel weird around people and constantly think they're judging me. I think that's why I even drank more to escape from my thoughts, but would like to know if it gets any easier.

Anna

I remember feeling like that, too. It really does get better. And, for me, in the meantime, I avoided some situations where I 'felt' like I might be judged. I don't know if I would have been, but I didn't have energy to deal with it in early recovery. As time went by, I clearly understood that it didn't matter at all what other people thought about me, and in fact, the only thing I could do was to change my behaviour.

Dee74

I found it got a lot easier when I accepted the past was done -- there's nothing that you or I can do to change a second of it, Count.

We can do a lot with today tho - and gradually, doing right with my life day by day, I found most people, the vast majority, forgot about the old drunk Dee..

I found doing things for others was a great way to try and get over the wrong I'd done in the past and the guilt I had for that...a kind of 'living amends' if you like.

It might not be for everyone, but if you're open to the idea of some kind of service work, or volunteering, I recommend it

Congratulations on your 3 months!
D

Hevyn

It does get easier, Count. That is the thing that kept me drinking for years - guilt and remorse. I always numbed myself every time I started to remember certain things.

I just started to live the best life I could - and if people I cared about couldn't forgive or understand, I just had to move on without them. I reminded myself the real me would never have acted so obnoxious or foolish - the drunk me was gone, and never coming back. Please give yourself a break - be kind to the recovering you. It will feel better and less intense as you get stronger - promise.

Count

Cheers for the kind words. I started out with a better outlook on things, but gradually my outlook has gotten worse. Just need to suck it up and get on with things. On the plus side, I'm never going to drink again.

DisplacedGRITS

i've found that the longer i've made my actions match my words and stayed sober, the more forgiveness from both myself and other people i've received. also, you can't change your past but you can change your future. dwelling on what was isn't going to help you create a positive future. keep building on the good that you've been doing and working on forgiving the past. if other people can forgive you by seeing the earnest work you are doing, good for them! if they cannot, those are the feelings they have to live with. you can only sway them by continuing to work hard and continue on in sobriety.

oh2exhale

Thanks for shariing! I have found that remembering the misery drinking brought into my life helps me remember why I don't drink today. I don't regret a good lesson learned.

freshstart57

Hevyn and DisplacedGrits, that was so well said, I agree 100%. We need to learn to be gentle again with ourselves, to take care of ourselves again. Sometimes, when I get stuck, I imagine a little child who needs care and tenderness, a child who needs someone who can make the hard decisions and provide for this little one.

artsoul

Congratulations on your 3 months, Count!
I've always been afraid of others' judgements, too, probably because I was so hard on myself. I'm still working on, but it's gotten 100% better than what it was at 3 months sober.

Learning how to deal with our emotions takes time - at least it did for me. I find that mindfulness helps a lot. I agree with the others that treating ourselves with understanding and patience makes a huge difference, too.

youbetcha

Yes it gets better, but I had to "clean up the past," I worked/work the steps, and did some counciling at a couple different periods of my life.